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Vent on Black Pill, Looks maxxing etc (TW - Suicidal thoughts, Self Image, Bullying, Drug abuse)
unheardquack
Posts: 14 Settling in
im sure many of us younger ones (aged 16 to about 25) on this website have heard of bp or the looksmaxxing trend and honestly i used to make fun of it years ago, i used to say what a depressing way to live and think, how bleak and such useless way of thinking about life. But the reality is BP is easily accessible with the rise of it becoming mainstream on tiktok, its targetted to young, usually neurodivergant men, alone and treated less than by society due to either their autism, or looks etc... so i fell into this kind of content more and more often.
honestly, the more i was exposed to it the more i started accepting its ideas, the more i was influenced by it, the more i became obsessed with it. i honestly spend hours a day obsessing over this shit its not healthy at all. if you dont know bp is essentially the belief that almost all interactions and how youre percieved and treated in this life is almost solely based on genetics and how you look. where in mainstream society it attributes to maybe 40% of your daily life, the average loser incel red pill pipeline would claim its 50-60%, bp would claim its somehwere in the high 80s or 90s in contributing to how happy you are in life and how ur treated generally.
i was already heavily bullied by literally almost everyone ive ever known from the age of about 5/6 up until even now for my appearance. its hard not to be drawn to a community who understands that and teaches you that your life experiences are largely due to genetics, that youre not worthless, that its not your fault, that ur not a weirdo or a creep or a fucked up messed up mentally sick individual who isnt allowed to have off days or be stressed or upset or angry or sad about how people treat you
the problem with the bp and looks maxxing trends is that at first it gives you hope. you look at people who have "ascended" appearance wise, then you get a surge of happiness and this wave of hope when your eyes light up and you say "wait! i may just have a chance!!!!" .... but no, you soon come to the realisation that almost everyone involved in that industry are heavily abusing peformance enhancing drugs from teenage years such as steroids, peptides etc and getting aesthetic surgeries.
you finally coming to the crippling realisation that its over. genetically you will never look as good as them. you will never have the defined jawline they have, you will never be able to be that low body fat percentage without borderline disordered patterns of eating, you will never be that tall naturally unless you take hgh or mk or whatever other drugs are promoted heavily in these communities form teenage years before your growth plates close. like wtf bro im really meant to sit here and accept the fact that people will treat me like an animal for the rest of my life, and be purely invisible in the dating scene because of some genetics that were out of my control. how the hell am i meant to cope with that?
this is literally the worst time for me to be falling deep into this pipeline aswell, my hygeine is currently TERRIBLE, my routine is non existant, my mood has been at an all time low, i got exams coming up, i do not need to be dealing with this bs as well. I really hate how easy it is for the internet to take advantage of insecure young men and feed us this shit knowing damn well it ruins lives. I know deep down that how I look will affect drastically how people treat me forever and that i have no hope looking how i do rn. But atleast lemme live a lie, i miss being innocent and unaware of all of this shit and just blindly thinking that aslong as you were a chill normal guy with an interesting personality you would succeed. I honestly wish I could go back to that way of thinking, eventhough its a lie and wishful thinking i was GENUINELY happier then.
any tips on speaking more about this in therapy? my therapist already knows i how i feel very vaguely regarding all this and she already suspects me of depression, anxiety and bpd. shes been regularly asking me (like way more often than normal) if im suicidal currently. i fear if i tell her all of this, she will genuinely think ive lost it and get me sectioned or some shit. i aint tryna deal with all that rn.
honestly, the more i was exposed to it the more i started accepting its ideas, the more i was influenced by it, the more i became obsessed with it. i honestly spend hours a day obsessing over this shit its not healthy at all. if you dont know bp is essentially the belief that almost all interactions and how youre percieved and treated in this life is almost solely based on genetics and how you look. where in mainstream society it attributes to maybe 40% of your daily life, the average loser incel red pill pipeline would claim its 50-60%, bp would claim its somehwere in the high 80s or 90s in contributing to how happy you are in life and how ur treated generally.
i was already heavily bullied by literally almost everyone ive ever known from the age of about 5/6 up until even now for my appearance. its hard not to be drawn to a community who understands that and teaches you that your life experiences are largely due to genetics, that youre not worthless, that its not your fault, that ur not a weirdo or a creep or a fucked up messed up mentally sick individual who isnt allowed to have off days or be stressed or upset or angry or sad about how people treat you
the problem with the bp and looks maxxing trends is that at first it gives you hope. you look at people who have "ascended" appearance wise, then you get a surge of happiness and this wave of hope when your eyes light up and you say "wait! i may just have a chance!!!!" .... but no, you soon come to the realisation that almost everyone involved in that industry are heavily abusing peformance enhancing drugs from teenage years such as steroids, peptides etc and getting aesthetic surgeries.
you finally coming to the crippling realisation that its over. genetically you will never look as good as them. you will never have the defined jawline they have, you will never be able to be that low body fat percentage without borderline disordered patterns of eating, you will never be that tall naturally unless you take hgh or mk or whatever other drugs are promoted heavily in these communities form teenage years before your growth plates close. like wtf bro im really meant to sit here and accept the fact that people will treat me like an animal for the rest of my life, and be purely invisible in the dating scene because of some genetics that were out of my control. how the hell am i meant to cope with that?
this is literally the worst time for me to be falling deep into this pipeline aswell, my hygeine is currently TERRIBLE, my routine is non existant, my mood has been at an all time low, i got exams coming up, i do not need to be dealing with this bs as well. I really hate how easy it is for the internet to take advantage of insecure young men and feed us this shit knowing damn well it ruins lives. I know deep down that how I look will affect drastically how people treat me forever and that i have no hope looking how i do rn. But atleast lemme live a lie, i miss being innocent and unaware of all of this shit and just blindly thinking that aslong as you were a chill normal guy with an interesting personality you would succeed. I honestly wish I could go back to that way of thinking, eventhough its a lie and wishful thinking i was GENUINELY happier then.
any tips on speaking more about this in therapy? my therapist already knows i how i feel very vaguely regarding all this and she already suspects me of depression, anxiety and bpd. shes been regularly asking me (like way more often than normal) if im suicidal currently. i fear if i tell her all of this, she will genuinely think ive lost it and get me sectioned or some shit. i aint tryna deal with all that rn.
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