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Redemption
Community Connector Posts: 4,933 The Mix Elder
in Work & Study
I’m pushing through the tough times in my job-hunting journey, trying my best to get through it because it’s hard. Sometimes I feel so useless and really low. I get comments that make me feel irritable and sensitive, and I’ve been feeling like this for multiple years now. Luckily, I have this community which helps a lot, but it’s still hard. I’m working on my interview techniques because I’ve noticed they need some work. I struggle with interviews, so I’m trying to get some practice and also working on my CV. Even when I practice interviews, I find it hard to come up with answers, develop them, and maintain eye contact — which I’ve struggled with. Maintaining eye contact is especially tough because I get distracted easily. I’ve done multiple confidence courses over time, including ones about self-esteem and CBT. More recently, I did a month-long course to gain work-related skills like teamwork, collaboration, and communication. I’ve been recommended another course, but after doing so many for over a year, I feel like I’ve just wanted to get into work instead of more courses. I’ve done plenty of courses and I’m still looking and being suggested more.
There was an enquiry call about a job, but the hours were too long. It was a fast-paced warehouse role with 12-hour shifts. As much as I want to get into work, it’s not ideal doing something that isn’t going to work for me because that kind of job would hit me hard. I felt in a dilemma because not taking the job felt like dodging opportunities, but then moaning about not helping myself. I felt like I needed approval to not feel guilty and stressed about it. After getting that approval, I felt better, but beforehand it was overwhelming with everything going on.
Now I’m being suggested another course — three months starting in September — but I don’t fully want to do it. I’ve been on plenty of courses, and it’s demotivating putting time and effort into something I’m not getting paid for. The last course felt a bit schoolish and it was irritating being told what to do when I don’t get paid. It wasn’t too bad though; the course was pretty good at times and I met people. Still, I want to put more time into work and getting an income. I know the courses are helping me towards that, but it’s hard not being in work, trying but not getting there, and facing the stigma for not working.
It’s definitely not been a straightforward journey — probably the opposite. When I was younger, I thought it was so straightforward and looked that way when I saw others doing it. But for me, it’s been long, frustrating, and draining. I often have to repeat myself because it’s the same feelings I can feel every day — still not being there yet. I’m constantly being encouraged to do courses, which can be demotivating since I’m putting time and effort into something unpaid. Sometimes it feels like being back at school, and I get irritated being told what to do with no pay. Even so, the courses aren’t all bad; they help build skills and I meet people. But deep down, I want to move forward, get a job I can handle, and earn income. People might think being out of work is relaxing, but it’s not. It’s stressful and isolating, and it plays on your mind constantly. The pressure from all sides makes it hard to feel at ease.
I’ve been working on interview skills — coming up with answers, developing them, maintaining eye contact, and staying focused. I’ve done confidence and self-esteem courses, CBT, and a month-long course to gain teamwork and communication skills. I’ve gained functional skills in maths, applied to many jobs, and attended assessment sessions — but I’ve faced rejections and setbacks. I was nearly 24 when I wrote this, and I started making serious changes at 22. I finished college at 20 going on 21, unsure what to do. Now I have a bit more of a plan, but when I try to act on it, things fall through. I’ve done course after course and tried different things but still haven’t gotten to where I want to be. I just want a job I can manage, something that suits me, and to feel like I’m making progress.
There was an enquiry call about a job, but the hours were too long. It was a fast-paced warehouse role with 12-hour shifts. As much as I want to get into work, it’s not ideal doing something that isn’t going to work for me because that kind of job would hit me hard. I felt in a dilemma because not taking the job felt like dodging opportunities, but then moaning about not helping myself. I felt like I needed approval to not feel guilty and stressed about it. After getting that approval, I felt better, but beforehand it was overwhelming with everything going on.
Now I’m being suggested another course — three months starting in September — but I don’t fully want to do it. I’ve been on plenty of courses, and it’s demotivating putting time and effort into something I’m not getting paid for. The last course felt a bit schoolish and it was irritating being told what to do when I don’t get paid. It wasn’t too bad though; the course was pretty good at times and I met people. Still, I want to put more time into work and getting an income. I know the courses are helping me towards that, but it’s hard not being in work, trying but not getting there, and facing the stigma for not working.
It’s definitely not been a straightforward journey — probably the opposite. When I was younger, I thought it was so straightforward and looked that way when I saw others doing it. But for me, it’s been long, frustrating, and draining. I often have to repeat myself because it’s the same feelings I can feel every day — still not being there yet. I’m constantly being encouraged to do courses, which can be demotivating since I’m putting time and effort into something unpaid. Sometimes it feels like being back at school, and I get irritated being told what to do with no pay. Even so, the courses aren’t all bad; they help build skills and I meet people. But deep down, I want to move forward, get a job I can handle, and earn income. People might think being out of work is relaxing, but it’s not. It’s stressful and isolating, and it plays on your mind constantly. The pressure from all sides makes it hard to feel at ease.
I’ve been working on interview skills — coming up with answers, developing them, maintaining eye contact, and staying focused. I’ve done confidence and self-esteem courses, CBT, and a month-long course to gain teamwork and communication skills. I’ve gained functional skills in maths, applied to many jobs, and attended assessment sessions — but I’ve faced rejections and setbacks. I was nearly 24 when I wrote this, and I started making serious changes at 22. I finished college at 20 going on 21, unsure what to do. Now I have a bit more of a plan, but when I try to act on it, things fall through. I’ve done course after course and tried different things but still haven’t gotten to where I want to be. I just want a job I can manage, something that suits me, and to feel like I’m making progress.
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Comments
As I said I was going to look at your thread today but may aswell do it now while I'm already on.
It is really good that you have recognised that you struggle with interviews and that you are practicing, it can be hard to recognise what we struggle with and even harder to make the first step in working on it so your already doing really well.
Also glad to hear your working on your CV as those are particularly useful when applying for work.
It's also very good with how you have taken courses to help you, that's a very brave thing to do, I do understand you just want to get into work but if part of you is finding certain things challenging right now you may not be fully ready, and that's totally okay. There is no rush to get into work, everybody's process for getting a job is different.
Good on you for recognising that, that opportunity that came up wasn't what was best for you. Some people feel pressure to take it on and you were able to listen to what they had to offer and able to reflect that it wasn't for you.
I do really understand that you just want a job and seeing others that are a similar age as you have a job, it can really start to feel like your not getting anywhere. But trust me you are getting their, its just that your route there is different to others.
You are making progress with every step you take on your journey and with what you have said here, I can actually see how much progress your making.
Thank you so much @Animalloverb very kind of you to reply, hope you're ok ❤️
It's no problem at all, as I said earlier today i was going to reply to your post.
Also I know in chat ealier today you said "youngy" please can you not say that towards me, I know you don't mean anything bad by it. But I would appreciate it if you never said that to me again. Thank you.
@Animalloverb Im so extremely sorry for saying that, I didn’t mean any harm or anything, just a jokey kind of comment, Im so sorry ❤️
It's all good, don't worry. I know you didn't mean anything by it.