TW- mentions of eating behaviour

Animalloverb

Hey everyone,

Lately I have been struggling, I have been hiding this as I have been to weak to share about it as it is not something I am that happy about.

But with how things have been Lately and despite me always doing my best and pushing through-
I was really fit and healthy, I was always going for walks, jogs and doing so many different active things and when life turned around with my health, I basically also found it hard to look at my own body due to feeling like I was getting so fat from not being able to do anything active like I used to, so It felt harder and harder for me to get myself to eat as every bite I took I felt an insane amount of guilt.
I am trying my hardest to get back on track.

Sian321

Hi @Animalloverb , thank you so much for making this post. It can take a lot of courage to say, 'I'm not okay' when we also feel like we should hide our struggles, or are worried about judgements. We hear you, we're listening, and everything you've shared here is so valid.

The guilt you describe about eating sounds so hard, and I really, really hear just how much change you've had to cope with and adjust to lately due to your health. I can imagine it feeling difficult - to have to live in a different way and to not be able to be as active right now. At the same time, however, you are always, always deserving of fueling your body and food (regardless of how much physical activity you're able to do) - though I hear that's feeling really difficult.

What's that guilt been like for you? How would you describe that feeling?

Is this guilt something you've felt before in the past, or maybe this is a newer feeling?

We're here for you, and thank you for your trust in sharing what you have.

Animalloverb

@Sian321
It is pretty difficult to explain how the guilt feels to me, but I will try.

So basically when I take something to eat I get all these thoughts in my head that say "you shouldn't of eaten that as you haven't been able to get out of bed today" "you can't eat today because you ate too much yesterday and you were not active enough" those kind of thoughts.

This guilt is nothing like how I have felt it before, it is more intense this time and is different thoughts going through my head.

I am trying to fight it away and move away from this problem as personally it is really hard as I don't want it to be like this but at the same time I feel like it's the only thing kind of let that I have a form of control over.