(TW masturbation & Intrusive thoughts)Tried an exposure technique for my sexual OCD and it backfired

bignosegirly0

I’ll likely delete this post later.

I don’t feel comfortable saying what theme of sexual OCD it is, but I fear of having a sexual attraction to a certain thing.

Usually when treating OCD, the best way is to expose yourself. I thought it was a good idea to expose myself by masturbating to porn with this certain thing. I felt dizzy, scared and shakey I instantly orgasmed.

I’m so terrified it’s not actually OCD and I’m actually attracted to this thing. It’s nothing illegal but it’s something that deeply disgusted me since I was a child. And I’ve struggled with this since I was a child.

I’m terrified I’m in denial.

Sian321

Hey @bignosegirly0 , thank you so much for sharing this so vulnerably and openly. I hear you saying just how disgusted you feel, and I get the sense that these intrusive thoughts are bringing up a lot of shame for you. That sounds so scary and upsetting to be coping with right now.

I've gone ahead and shared some further support resources here on your other thread: https://community.themix.org.uk/discussion/3607226/masturbation-ocd-i-can-only-orgasm-to-my-intrusive-thoughts-please-help#latest

I hope these can feel helpful!