(TW suicidal thoughts) I’m a failure

bignosegirly0 · May 29

Despite doing well in all my courses in college and getting high grades, all of that was a waste of time. Because nowadays, I can’t even get a new job, no matter whether it’s a creative job or even part-time at a local restaurant.

I’m a failure in life. My brothers have got serious and respectable careers with high pay. I’m stuck in a shitty fast food restaurant.

I’ve put in so much hard work just for my dreams to go down the fucking drain.

Maybe this is a sign from god that I should kill myself. Because I’ll never achieve anything worthy in life. I’ve got nothing to look forward to in life.

eylah · May 29

you’re not a failure at all you are doing your best at everything and thats enough! we all have different paths and we go at them at different speeds. i know your brothers might be more ahead but that doesn’t mean you wont get there bc you will it just takes time. i believe in you. you deserve to be on this planet so pls do not kill yourself, remember there are helplines out there that can help you rn pls reach out to samaritans or shout if youre needing 1-2-1 support rn. if youre in damage pls call 999. are you safe rn? youre not alone

Sian321 · May 29

Hey @bignosegirly0 , thank you for making this post. I wanted to check in to ask how physically safe you're feeling this afternoon?

I can hear that you're dealing with some really difficult thoughts and feelings right now, such as feeling like a faliure. That's extreamly hard, and it sounds incredibly frustrating and dissapointing too to have put all this work into pursuing your dreams to feel so stuck and trapped right now.

Job-searching can be a very energy-taxing process and really emotionally tough too, essepecially when it leaves you questioning your self-worth or your potential. It sounds really upsetting too to compare yourself to your brothers and feel like you're not 'good enough' in comparison.

You deserve to be accepted and respected exactly where you're at in your journey, rather than judged. Working in a fast food restaurant right now is so, so valid! Though I hear it's not where you want to be.

Would you feel comfortable sharing what kind of dreams you wish for? What do you think 'success' would look like for you in an ideal world, and what feels like the biggest obstacle to that goal right now?

We're here and we're listening.

I'll share the names of some Helplines too for you to reach out to if you are feeling at risk today. You deserve to not have to face this alone:

Samaritans - https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/
Papyrus - https://www.papyrus-uk.org/
CALM - https://www.thecalmzone.net/
SHOUT 24/7 Text service - https://giveusashout.org/

DonnerKebab · May 29

@bignosegirly0 You deserve so much better. I know it sounds cliché, but i'm in the same boat. I went to uni for 4 years in Computer Science with max maintenance loan, so am drowning in student debt, and for me, it was all for nothing. STEM jobs aren't in high demand either now. There's about 1000 doctors this year who have finished medical school who are currently working minimum wage as uber drivers too and other stuff. The job market is terrible right now. None of this means your a failure. The goverment screwed up the economy. If you had been born 20 years ago, you would have landed a job instantly. Heck, even a few years ago it was much easier. None of the job market is your fault my friend. I've had to drill that into myself, and had to tell i don't know how many others too. You could be a doctor and it's still hard to land anything nowadays.

But you can't give up. Please. You're trying your hardest and that's all anybody can do. You are not a failure my friend, because you are still fighting on, because there's hope things will get better. Just throwing a few idea's out, there's working holidays to Australia for a few years, no qualifications needed and right to work. easily £40,000 a year over there with less taxes working what is minimum wage over here. A booming creative job industry in the US. There's still paths out there as hard as it seems. The economy can recover as well and so can the job market in time. You're not a failure, you would have succeeded if born in easier times, it's just impossible to succeed in this market today. That's not on you. Please stay safe. i know it feels hard right now, but things can change. You deserve to feel so much better than this.

bignosegirly0 · May 29

@Sian321 @eylah hiya, just wanted to respond to both of your questions and say that I am currently safe.

@Sian321 I yearn for a creative career. I yearn for a job where I enjoy my work, get along with my coworkers/managers and get payed enough to take care of myself. Work takes over a massive part of people’s live because people need money to survive. If most of my life revolves around work, I want to at least enjoy it. But the biggest obstacle is the job market. Because not even I or millions of other uk citizens can land a job in even a weekend job.

eylah · May 29

how are you feeling now @bignosegirly0 since sending your msg? im here if you ever need to offload your thoughts i care abt you

Sian321 · May 30

Hi @bignosegirly0 , I hear you. A creative career sounds so beautiful and I can see your passion. To held back from pursuing what you really want for yourself by the job market right now sounds extreamly frustrating and your feelings around this are valid.

Which aspect of job-hunting would you say is feeling most difficult right now, e.g. completing job applications, being offered an interview, completing the interview?

Thank you too for letting us know that right now you're physically safe, and at the same time, I recognise that also doesn't take away from just how hard this situation is right now and the hopelessness it leaves you with sometimes. That is serious, and we're all here alongside you.

I will share below a further resource which you may find helpful:

The Young Women's Trust are decicated specfically to helping young women all across the UK build their dream career and confidence.

In particular, they run multi-week workshops where they give you practical advice on everything relating to job hunting including job applications, interviews, and entering the work-place too. They also run a CV 'clinic' where you can submit your CV and get loads of relevant feedback from a job recruiter. They also have 1:1 coaching for women to help you set goals and work with someone else towards them. If you're interested, you can contact them here: https://www.youngwomenstrust.org/

Redemption · May 30

You're not a failure, it's important to not compare yourself to people, I know it can be hard, you can get to where you want to be, even if it requires time. You sound determined as you've been putting hard work into your dreams, don't give up. I hope you're safe.

shannon_164 · May 31

hey @bignosegirly0 🙂

i’m really sorry you’re feeling like this, i can tell how heavy everything is for you right now. first of all, you are not a failure. i know that probably doesn’t mean much to hear right now, especially when you’re feeling so overwhelmed, but i need you to know that i see your effort, your heart, and your worth, none of those things are defined by your job or how fast things are moving in your life.

you’ve worked hard, and that does matter. it might not feel like it’s paying off right now, but that doesn’t mean it was for nothing. the job market is brutal right now, and it’s not a reflection of who you are or what you’re capable of. comparing yourself to your brothers or anyone else will only rob you of your own journey, and yours is still unfolding.

please don’t let this moment convince you that your life isn’t worth living, it is. you mean something to the people around you, to all us us here, and your life has value beyond what a job title or salary can ever show.

if things are feeling like too much, do reach out for support, you are so deserving of support! you don’t have to carry this alone.

i’m so proud of you

(TW suicidal thoughts) I’m a failure

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