sense of hopelessness

PunchThe_Internet

i haven't been feeling well for quite some time now. I still have hallucinations, i'm feeling depressed. I've been struggling to take care of myself, particularly with things like self-care and hygiene. I don;t have motivation to eat, sleep, or look after myself. I feel awful and guilty for wasting my life, yet I don't act any differently. i fall deeper into this lonely and meaningless living.

So I've been wondering whether there's any point in trying to improve at all. I'm not sure if I'm already too lost in my own world. Nothing feels real and in my interpretation of this world, nothing has any meaning. I don't know what to do anymore. This is probably just how things feel in the moment.

I'll be fine.

kaii

Hi @PunchThe_Internet, thank you so much for reaching out — I’m really sorry to hear about your struggles. I can imagine that living with hallucinations is so challenging. And I hear that it can be difficult performing important tasks such as looking after yourself.

I hear that you acknowledge that this might be how things feel at the moment and that things will change. The struggles that you feel at the moment will pass eventually. It may take lots of time, which is completely okay. Take all the time you need.

In the meantime, having coping strategies during this difficult time is important and may help. What does this look like for you? Is there anything that you feel can support you at the moment? Anything that makes you smile, or anything to look forward to?

Making a mental list of what makes you happy such as watching your favourite anime, the taste of your favourite food, or walking in nature, can help you feel a sense of purpose to getting better.

If you’re able to do seemingly simple tasks such as getting out of bed each morning, celebrate that with full pride — it’s not an easy task given your current circumstances.

Have you considered reaching out to professionals such as a GP or talking about these feelings with a therapist?

Just acknowledging that you haven’t been feeling well is a big first step to getting better — please celebrate this. With time, I’m certain that your behaviours will change slowly but surely and that you will feel better mentally.

It might not feel like it but you’re doing so well, please don’t hesitate to continue reaching out here on the boards

Redemption

I'm really sorry you're feeling this way. You're not alone and you're not beyond help. Things can get better even if it doesn't feel like it right now. It's okay to feel lost but please don't carry this alone. Reaching out to someone like a doctor, therapist, or someone you trust can really help. You matter even if it's hard to believe that at the moment. Be gentle with yourself. You're not weak for feeling this way. You're human. Things will get better.