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Bugging out
Redemption
Community Connector Posts: 4,252 Community Veteran
I’ve been feeling completely on edge. There’s been so much going on with the constant job searching, rejections, and all the small frustrations that keep building up. It’s like everything is getting to me at once and I feel like I’m bugging out. Some days I wake up already overwhelmed, like I’m mentally exhausted before the day has even started. I try and put in effort but it always feels like the outcome is the worst possible one. It’s discouraging and makes me feel like I’m stuck in a cycle that doesn’t reward trying. I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and irritable more often and I just don’t feel like myself anymore. The pressure keeps building and everything gets too much. Even the little things like personal stuff, awkward encounters, and small frustrations just keep adding up.
What makes it harder is that it all comes in waves. I’ll feel okay for a bit then suddenly it all hits me again. One moment I’m fine, the next I’m breaking down. And when people say things to me during those low moments it makes everything feel worse. I’ve been like this for so long now and it’s really wearing me out. I keep comparing myself to others and even though I know I’m on my own path I can’t help but feel like I’m falling behind. That just adds to the feeling of worthlessness and frustration and it’s becoming harder to shake.
What makes it harder is that it all comes in waves. I’ll feel okay for a bit then suddenly it all hits me again. One moment I’m fine, the next I’m breaking down. And when people say things to me during those low moments it makes everything feel worse. I’ve been like this for so long now and it’s really wearing me out. I keep comparing myself to others and even though I know I’m on my own path I can’t help but feel like I’m falling behind. That just adds to the feeling of worthlessness and frustration and it’s becoming harder to shake.
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Comments
That feeling of being completely on the edge sounds so, so anxiety-inducing Redmeption - as though you could fall off at any moment and you're feeling pushed right to your limits.
Everything is piling up one thing on top of another, and it sounds like a pressure-cooker almost, with things getting more and more stressful and no release.
It really struck me too when you said that you've been more irritatble lately and you 'don't feel like myself anymore'. That sounds really hard, and sad too maybe, because there's a sense of losing touch with the person you used to be. Would that feel fair to say? In what ways would you say you don't feel like 'you' anymore, and what are some of the ways in which you used to feel like 'myself'?
The feeling of worthlessness you describe sounds really painful, and it cuts to core of how you're thinking and feeling about yourself some days. It comes in these really difficult waves. I hear you. I wonder, if a close friend of yours were to be feeling something similiar with these waves of self-doubt and worry, what might you say to them? What kind of words do you think they'd long to hear?
It can take immense resilience to manage these periods of feeling stuck in life or to navigate set-backs, and again and again every day that's what I hear you doing here - through the course you're about the start, the connectiions you're building here, your therapy and KNUS programmes too. Its so positive that you're taking these proactive steps to care for yourself and boost yourself through this time so you don't have to face this uncertainity alone.
We're here for you!
@Sian321 thanks so much for your reply, great seeing you on the watch party thread earlier and chatting a bit to you. I'd probably be positive if someone like a close friend was struggling just tell them to not give up and keep going even though it's daunting. They'll probably want encouraging words like not give up and realistic reassuring words.
I was saying to my Knus worker about what support is the most helpful I think it's here, my therapy and the Knus the top 3 best support for me. I've luckily not had to face it alone thanks to this amazing community including yall amazing staff, mods and of course members. I appreciate you're still here for me I will always cherish that. Thanks again Sian