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Just overthinking 🙃
Rose113
Community Connector Posts: 3,215 Boards Guru
I know I’m just overthinking but on Monday I did what was supposed to be my final chat with my kooth worker however she extended it by 2 chats as she felt that it wasn’t safe to end the chats.
Yesterday I logged into my account and I had a message saying she emailed Emma but that’s terrified me. She said that she only emailed her to let her know that support was ending in a couple of weeks and like the progress I’ve had etc but that’s terrified me, I asked if she told her anything concerning that I’ve said and she said no but I don’t know
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Before I got the message from my kooth worker I saw Emma at college only briefly and she asked why I hadn’t been to see her and I said I’d been avoiding and then she brought up Janis and said that she is now aware of my self harm and I know Janis had to tell her but still 🫠so today Emma wants me to go to her room for a catch up
Yesterday I logged into my account and I had a message saying she emailed Emma but that’s terrified me. She said that she only emailed her to let her know that support was ending in a couple of weeks and like the progress I’ve had etc but that’s terrified me, I asked if she told her anything concerning that I’ve said and she said no but I don’t know
- - - - -
Before I got the message from my kooth worker I saw Emma at college only briefly and she asked why I hadn’t been to see her and I said I’d been avoiding and then she brought up Janis and said that she is now aware of my self harm and I know Janis had to tell her but still 🫠so today Emma wants me to go to her room for a catch up
Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
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Comments
i can totally understand why you'd be feeling a bit overwhelmed right now. it sounds like there’s a lot going on with the conversations and messages, and it makes sense that it would trigger some anxiety. it is really positive that your kooth worker extended your chats because it shows she cares about your wellbeing and wants to make sure you’re supported!
as for the message about emma and the email, it’s great that your kooth worker reassured you there’s nothing concerning that was shared, but i know how that kind of uncertainty can still feel heavy. it is ok to be unsure about things right now, you're navigating a lot, and it’s completely normal to feel a bit anxious.
regarding the chat with emma, it sounds like she’s just trying to check in and make sure you’re doing ok. it might feel a bit difficult, but it could also be an opportunity to share how you're feeling with her. you don’t have to go into everything all at once, just take it one step at a time, and you can set the pace of the conversation however feels right for you.
you are doing your best, and i really admire your courage in facing these conversations. i’m so proud of you