i just found out my best friend has passed away. tw suicide

im broken im a mess. just had a call saying my best friend chloe has passed away from suicide. idk how im supposed to cope without her she was the bestest friend i could of had asked for. she was a lovely kind girl who deserved the world and i wasnt enough. i was last person she had talked to i tried getting her help but it wasnt enough. i hate myself bc i couldnt stop her. i am sat here crying bc she was only 21. i feel so broken my heart is killing me. bc of everything she was going through i tried being there for her but i couldnt save her. i hate myself i hate this world. why

why her why my lovely chloe

im broken. sry for this post im just broken. i have lost another person in my life who i need and now she is with my mum but she helped me through so much now shes gone.

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Comments

Lottie5433

Awh @eylah, im so sorry to hear this, sending many hugs and support your way 🫂

Just know you tried your hardest and did your best.
We are here for you during this time ❤️ always here for you

shannon_164

hey @eylah 🙂

i am so so sorry. my heart is absolutely breaking for you. losing someone you love is already unbearable, but losing a best friend this way is something no one should ever have to go through. please don’t apologise for how you’re feeling, you’re grieving, and that pain is real and valid.

chloe was clearly such a special, beautiful soul, and i can hear how much she meant to you. the love and support you gave her mattered. you did everything you could, and i know you would have done anything to save her if you could have. but it’s important to remember, her pain was not your fault, and you were enough. none of this is on you. i know that might be impossible to believe right now though. you loved her, you were there for her, and that love was real.

i know nothing i say can take away this pain, but please don’t carry this alone. you don’t have to go through this by yourself. we are all here for you, always! please be gentle with yourself right now. chloe wouldn’t want you to blame yourself for this. you matter so much.

sending you all my love and the biggest hug eylah, you are not alone

ella

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend passing away, this is really really sad and I'm sending lots of love and strength your way @eylah.

Losing someone to suicide is incredibly painful, and I can't imagine how much you're hurting right now. It sounds so hard having those 'what if' thoughts of wanting to have tried harder, but please don't blame yourself for what happened because it wasn't your fault in any way. Suicide is very complicated and there are often a lot of things that play a part in why it happens. It's not your fault and you're not a bad friend

Please be kind to yourself as you're going through this difficult time Eylah. If you need someone to talk to, we're all here for you.

There's also some great organisations out there offering support to anyone who has lost someone to suicide:

The Support After Suicide Partnership provides support to individuals who have been bereaved by suicide. They offer guidance on what you can do if you are a friend, family member, sibling or even a witness of someone who has ended their life by suicide. They can also support you in supporting someone else as well as putting you in touch with a local service near you.

Winston's Wish is a UK-wide national helpline offering support, information, and guidance to young people who have been bereaved. They are open from Monday to Friday 8am - 8pm. Their helpline is 08088 020 021. You can also visit their website and send them a message from there. They also have a message board for young people on their website.

Keep us updated with how you're feeling, we're all here for you

eylah

thankyou everyone i will reply in a bit im just rly struggling and trying to come to terms with this. thankyou again

shannon_164

take all the time you need @eylah

Redemption

Im so so incredibly sorry @eylah I can't imagine how hard this for you ❤️

eylah

@Lottie5433 thankyou lottie i did my hardest for her but it wasnt enough but least i tried thankyou.

thankyou for your beautiful words lottie and your kindness

@shannon_164 im sobbing at your reply. thankyou shannon for your beautiful words she was a beautiful soul and she still deserves to be here. but heaven open the gates for her to come through. i did my best for her and i failed but i tried. even when i was struggling myself.

@ella thankyou for your beautiful words they mean a lot to me in such a difficult time. i have found a helpline for ppl who have gone through what i have theyre open monday so im gonna msg them then. thankyou for your beautiful words again

.

@TheNightmare thankyou for being kind it means a lot to me it rly does

thankyou all for your kind words im currently crying my eyes out and needing these kind words. it means a lot to my heart and soul that i have kind ppl to turn to. i will not keep this to myself and i will keep reaching out. thankyou all again

Invisible_me

eylah wrote: »

im broken im a mess. just had a call saying my best friend chloe has passed away from suicide. idk how im supposed to cope without her she was the bestest friend i could of had asked for. she was a lovely kind girl who deserved the world and i wasnt enough. i was last person she had talked to i tried getting her help but it wasnt enough. i hate myself bc i couldnt stop her. i am sat here crying bc she was only 21. i feel so broken my heart is killing me. bc of everything she was going through i tried being there for her but i couldnt save her. i hate myself i hate this world. why why her why my lovely chloe im broken. sry for this post im just broken. i have lost another person in my life who i need and now she is with my mum but she helped me through so much now shes gone.

I really do feel for you!! That sounds so hard...
Just know there's no right or wrong way to feel or timeframe to this. It's a lot to process.
Losing someone your close too is hard.

Also please please don't feel your at fault it isnt your fault your friend took this step, you did all you could to support her and that's all you couldve done. Losing someone to suicide isn't easy- I lost a relative to suicide and it's hard and feels so different but your not alone.

eylah

Invisible_me wrote: »

eylah wrote: »

im broken im a mess. just had a call saying my best friend chloe has passed away from suicide. idk how im supposed to cope without her she was the bestest friend i could of had asked for. she was a lovely kind girl who deserved the world and i wasnt enough. i was last person she had talked to i tried getting her help but it wasnt enough. i hate myself bc i couldnt stop her. i am sat here crying bc she was only 21. i feel so broken my heart is killing me. bc of everything she was going through i tried being there for her but i couldnt save her. i hate myself i hate this world. why why her why my lovely chloe im broken. sry for this post im just broken. i have lost another person in my life who i need and now she is with my mum but she helped me through so much now shes gone.

I really do feel for you!! That sounds so hard...
Just know there's no right or wrong way to feel or timeframe to this. It's a lot to process.
Losing someone your close too is hard.

Also please please don't feel your at fault it isnt your fault your friend took this step, you did all you could to support her and that's all you couldve done. Losing someone to suicide isn't easy- I lost a relative to suicide and it's hard and feels so different but your not alone.

thankyou so sry to hear you lost someone to suicide. im sending you so many hugs 🫂.

eylah

ive woken up today to rly bad heartache. Im missing her so much i had restless sleep bc all i could think abt is her. i want her back but she is never coming back.

im lost idk what to do i dont know how im supposed to manage bc i have lost so many ppl close to me now.

shannon_164

hey @eylah 🙂

i’m so sorry. i can’t even begin to imagine the pain you’re feeling right now, but i want you to know that you don’t have to go through this alone. losing someone like this is unbelievably hard, and it’s ok to feel lost and heartbroken.

if you need to talk, i’m here, absolutely anytime, about anything! you don’t have to have all the answers right now, and you don’t have to figure it all out alone. just take it one moment at a time, and please be gentle with yourself. you are loved, and you are not alone in this - sending so much love your way

Orchid059

I can't imagine how hard this must be for you right now- the community is here for you through this time. It’s okay to feel a lot of different emotions right now. There’s no ‘right’ way to grieve and it’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed by everything right now.

Make sure you look after yourself during this time. I have attached some useful resources below

https://mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/bereavement/bereavement-by-suicide/
https://papyrus-uk.org/suicide-bereavement-support/
https://cruse.org.uk/understanding-grief/grief-experiences/traumatic-loss/coping-when-someone-dies-by-suicide/

Amy22

Eylah I am so sorry to hear of this news, that must be super hard for you to process right now and I can't imagine anything as hard of that to go through right now

. Im always here for you if you need a chat.

sinead276

sending you the biggest of hugs @eylah and i'm so sorry to hear about your friend Chloe. its clear what a special girl she was and how much she meant to you. remember to take the time to feel your feelings and process this loss - and there is no timeframe on doing this. go at your own pace and take everything one step at a time, being kind to yourself as you go along. we are all here for you

eylah

thankyou all for caring

sry for not responding until now the past few days have been to tough for me having police involved etc it’s just not been the best. im rly struggling to cope without her but im trying. just want to say if anyone responds to my post ill answer but just sry bc im rly struggling atm.

shannon_164

hey @eylah 🙂

you don’t have anything to apologise for! it’s ok to take time, especially when going through everything that you are - we’re always here for you regardless of if you reply or how long it is until you reply!

sending you so much love

eylah

@shannon_164 sry for not replying until now i just saw this notification. rly appreciate you as always & support thankyou so much