Hike didn't go as planned (embarrassed and sad)

RainbowPenguin

Hey folks 👋
So today didn't go as I hoped - I pushed myself too far and now feel really humiliated .

So i got a ticket for a women's hiking thing in my area. I hadn't done anything like this for ages but the group said it would be a relaxed pace, beginners welcome and it was in some woods near my home, so I thought it would be ok... at first it was and we got through the uphill parts alright. But after that - ironically on flat(ter) ground - i started really flagging, my breathing got all heavy and raspy, and once someone asked if I was OK... I just broke down. I don't know if there was actually something wrong with my breathing or if I was having a panic attack.

Anyway, the hike leader made an exec decision and basically made me get a ride back to the cafe where we started. Physically I'm fine, just aching, although my mum thinks i should see the doctor just in case and is also brimming with ideas for ways I can start exercising more. (Which I'd love to, but I've had loads of issues with foot pain, shin splints the last time I tried running, etc).

I'm just feeling so embarrassed and deflated and sad. I was obviously too unfit to do this but I guess I deluded myself and made things harder for other people because of it. Honestly I'm angry and hurt, too: I met some really nice people and was having fun walking with them, but once i started falling behind they didn't even notice. And I really wanted to meet people, even brought a giant bag of my fave crisps. So when we stopped to eat I could share them with my new fwiends! 😍 Well, they clearly never thought of me again and now the bag is back in my room, unopened.

Gonna have to stop writing now, bcos I thought I was feeling better but im getting into a shame spiral. I mean 25 and still living with parents, desperately trying to make friends... so pathetic...

Also, if anyone hear has done hiking or gotten back into any kind of sports after a hiatus/recovery - any advice would be appreciated. (As long as it's not just 'lose weight'.) Thanks and hope whoevers reading this has a good weekend 🩷

Orchid059

@RainbowPenguin I'm really sorry you're feeling this way, but I want to start by saying that you're not pathetic. You took a step to do something outside of your comfort zone, and that's something a lot of people shy away from. It's understandable to feel a mix of disappointment, frustration, and embarrassment, especially when things don't go as expected, but it doesn't mean you've failed.

It sounds like there were a lot of factors involved that contributed to your experience. Physical health issues like foot pain and shin splints can definitely make exercise more challenging, and on top of that, it sounds like there were emotional and social expectations that added pressure. Feeling like you couldn't keep up with the group, and then feeling left behind, is hard, especially when you're trying to connect with others. But none of this makes you any less of a person, and it doesn't invalidate your desire to make new friends and take part in activities.

About your breathing and the breakdown, it’s possible you had a panic attack- especially since that can be triggered by physical exertion, stress, or even just the environment. The fact that the hike leader made the decision to send you back shows that they cared about your well-being, which means you were not alone in that moment. It's important to be kind to yourself and not feel guilty about needing to step back for a bit.

As for the people on the hike, sometimes in group activities, it's easy for others to get caught up in their own experience and not notice someone else struggling. It’s unfortunate that they didn’t check in more, but that doesn’t reflect poorly on you. It sounds like you genuinely wanted to connect, and that’s all that matters.

You're 25, but that doesn't mean you have to have everything figured out. You're still learning about yourself and your boundaries, and it’s OK to have setbacks or moments of doubt. They don’t define you—they’re just part of the journey. You're doing your best, and that’s enough.

If you feel like it might help, try reaching out to some of those people you met, even just for a casual chat. Maybe they didn’t realize how much you were hoping for connection, but they might still be open to it. Allso you’re not alone in your feelings- many people struggle with similar things. And don’t forget, you're already showing a lot of courage by putting yourself out there

shannon_164

hey @RainbowPenguin 🙂

i’m really sorry the day didn’t go the way you hoped. first of all, you are not pathetic for trying to put yourself out there and do something new. if anything, that takes guts, way more than just sitting back and doing nothing. it sucks that things didn’t go as planned, but it doesn’t mean you’re not capable or that you shouldn’t try again!

i get why you’re feeling embarrassed, but please don’t be so hard on yourself. whether it was a physical issue, a panic attack, or just your body struggling to adjust, it happens, and it doesn’t make you weak, unfit, or a burden. you tried, and that’s something to be proud of, even if it didn’t go perfectly.

as for the people on the hike, i know it must have hurt to feel left behind, especially when you were hoping to connect with them, but maybe they probably just got caught up in their own experience and didn’t realise how you were feeling? that doesn’t make it any less painful, but it does mean that this wasn’t about you being unworthy of friendship. you are not invisible, and you do deserve to have people who notice and care.

if you want to keep easing into hiking or any other activity, maybe something lower-pressure would help, like solo walks at your own pace, or shorter, easier group hikes where you can gradually build up?

lastly, please don’t let that day define you. one tough experience doesn’t mean you’re not capable of making friends or getting into hiking. it just means that day was rough, but there will be other chances! i hope you’re able to be kind to yourself - you’ve got this, i believe in you

TheNightmare

Sorry to hear what happened on the hike and it didn't go as planned but I’m really glad to hear you're fine. Also, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being 25 and living with your parents, please don’t think there is. It’s actually quite common these days, and I personally see it as a positive thing because it helps save money and gives you time to focus on other important things. You’re doing what works best for you, and that’s what matters most.