I think I may have a crush on someone… any advice?

JMMV2005

So I’ve been going to this anxiety management course, last session I was sitting near someone, I didn’t speak to her but I guess she seemed nice, anyway this Saturday and Sunday I couldn’t stop thinking about her, I’d be thinking about her without even realising and I’d get butterflies thinking about her, so I obviously have a little crush on her, I don’t think it’s anything major because I haven’t spoken to her but it’s obviously something

Anyway the problem is this course is supposed to be a safe space where people don’t have to talk if they don’t want to, so it’s been pretty quiet and very difficult to actually talk to anyone, which is a shame because I was hoping I’d make some friends on this course, and I want it to be a safe space so I’ve sort of avoided trying to talk to people incase it makes them scared or uncomfortable, and it feels wrong to have a crush on someone there because it’s supposed to be a safe space, but obviously you can’t exactly control these feelings. Anyway next session is the last one before the course ends and I’m not sure what to, I think I’ll just try and relax and be open to talking to the person I have a crush on and be open to speaking to anyone on the course because like a said I wanted to make some friends on this course so it’d be good to also speak to other people, the problem is the group is just so quiet and it’s extremely difficult to actually talk to anyone because I’m nervous and so is everyone else, I’m probably not going to be able to speak to this person or anyone on this course realistically but I feel like I at least gotta try despite the odds, I just hope I don’t slip into a negative mindset if I don’t speak to this person or anyone though

If I did speak to this person I’d start of just being friendly, and if we kept in touch after we knew a little bit more about each other I’d probably say I like her and ask if she wants to go for a coffee, obviously I’m not gonna start hitting on her or something first thing when I talk to her because again the course is supposed to be a safe space

The last session is this Wednesday, and this is sort of stressing me out a bit, I think this is actually the first time I’ve had a crush on someone, I’m sort of looking forward to Thursday because whatever happens at least I can stop worrying about it by then, I just want to relax but this is really playing on my mind

Anyway I wanted to get some second opinions, how should I approach this? And is it wrong for me to feel like this in the first place?

Thank you

sinead276

i think the plan you have outlined in your message sounds like a good one. it's natural to like people, and we often can't help the situations we meet these people. i think going into the session with an open mind and no expectations is a good idea - just see what happens and be open to talking to people if they want. hopefully you are able to make that first step towards a friendship with this person. but if it doesn't happen then that's okay too.

i think the fact you're even considering giving it ago and talking to people shows how far you have come and that in itself is something you should be proud of.

sending hugs
Sinead

JMMV2005

@sinead276 Thank you

I think it’s best if I just don’t overthink it and go in open minded, I just wish it was an easier environment to talk to people and I feel like the odds are against me, still I’ll try, it’s the first time I’ve had a crush on someone like I’ve said so it’s all a bit new for me