Distress/ stress/ anxiety . Want to sleep to escape

nem

Whenever I get home the only thing I’d want to do is sleep it’s the only escape
I just want to zone out and not be there
And my body is on high altert I slept properly at 3:30am last night and my body woke me up before my alarm at 7:40am

I’m diagnosed bipolar type 2 and lack of sleep is meant to be really bad so I worry about that
But I question if I really have it
Because one minute in the day I’m sad and crying and restless and other I’m calm and chill and productive.
I’m overcoming my Ed, doing worksheets every day

nem

I also napped 2hrs until midnight last night
Apparently bipolar rule numero uno is don’t nap especially b4 bed lol
Aahhahah
lol

nem

But like I’ve been waking up b4 my alarm and sleeping 5-5.5 occasionally 6 hrs for at least the past week. And haven’t napped

nem

It’s been like 3 weeks min of 5.5hrs a night

Orchid059

It sounds like you’re carrying a lot right now, and I’m really sorry to hear how much stress and emotional exhaustion you're going through. The lack of sleep and high alert state you're in can absolutely make everything feel even more intense, especially when you're already managing everything that comes with your bipolar disorder and overcoming your ED. It's a lot for anyone to handle, and it’s totally understandable why you'd feel like you want to escape by zoning out. It's also crucial to give yourself compassion and to acknowledge that you’re doing a lot, and it’s okay to feel like you’re not perfect or have moments where you just want to escape.

It’s clear you’re trying your best, even though things feel overwhelming. You’re putting in the work and actively helping yourself which youl should be really proud about as it takes a lot of strength. As for your bipolar diagnosis, it’s completely valid to question things when you experience shifts in mood that don’t always feel clear-cut. Sometimes, it's hard to differentiate if what you're going through is part of the condition or just a result of everything you're dealing with. You might be feeling more restless or high-alert from the emotional strain of everything, which could impact your mood swings.

Lack of sleep is definitely something to keep an eye on. For someone with bipolar, sleep disruptions can indeed be a trigger or a signal that things might be shifting. It might help to talk to your doctor or therapist about this- letting them know you're struggling with sleep and how it's affecting your mental and emotional state. They can help assess how your sleep patterns are impacting your mood and overall health, and possibly suggest strategies to help regulate that.

I know it’s hard, but giving yourself some grace through this can really help. Sleep and emotional regulation are often connected, and if you’re in a cycle of high alertness and poor sleep, that can impact everything you’re going through.

How are you feeling right now? do you feel like you're able to take a small step to rest today, even if it’s hard to allow yourself that break?