endings

struggling0_0

today my psychologist and i discussed patterns of mine - one being getting attached to people that are nice to me and show that they care about me etc as it’s something i have a lack of experience of from parents for example. at this point she then said about so when she moves on in 10 months time n stuff like how am i gonna cope basically. i know 10 months is a longgggg way from now but im so anxious about the end. she’s the very first person who ive genuinely felt listened to by, understood and that she even actually cares like she’s not just doing her job as a psychologist for money or whatever, like she’s is doing it because she does genuinely care if that makes sense?

i don’t often have this issue as ive been unlucky with the professionals ive met so its no big deal when they leave as i didnt get much from them anyways but she has been AMAZING, its only been 6 sessions so far and she’s helped me more than all the professionals ive experienced in the past 5 years put together lol i am so so grateful that things worked out as they did which led to me having her:) though i know the ending is going to be really hard. i would hope that in 10 months time i dont feel this way anymore or at least even dont feel this way all of the time like i do now, but the thought of not having her no more scares me?

i feel so so silly as it is literally 10 whole months away but yeah. idk. i just needed to share i guess? i’m sorry this is so pathetic:/

struggling0_0

also, last week she said about she doesn’t understand what she’s doing wrong, in terms of me not opening up lots and finding it easy to talk to her yet which i felt so bad about as she is doing nothing wrong she has been so so accommodating of everything. today though she said she’s gonna try something new and said we’re gonna draw pictures while we talk as i had mentioned that i find being distracted by something else eg colouring in helps take the pressure of having a conversation of me - i was so relieved when she said about drawing pictures as it helped a lot and i felt so much more comfy talking to her about stuff while we drew flowers, cats & dogs, both of our dogs looked nothing like dogs though lol mine looked more like a bear while hers looked more like a donkey haha

Invisible_me

I read this and so wanted to repky... I don't know how to advice bymyt so relates to me.
I struggle with endings, people leaving etc... I call thus attachment feelings. It's horrible!! Often ive found that I will then get attached to objects related to them or ones I associate to it and even that is unhelpful or worse I'll end up pacing up and down the place.