Feeling stuck in a rut

TheNightmare

I think I’ve just been feeling stuck in a rut where I’m unhappy. I feel behind in life, pressured to have everything in place, and not fulfilled. I’ve been dealing with demotivation, boredom, and things not being the best at home, which makes me compare myself to others and dwell on the past. I feel embarrassed about doing Functional Skills to get my GCSE Maths because it’s something you're supposed to do in secondary school, but I didn’t get it then. I compare myself to people who have graduated from university while I’m still working on it. I’ve been looking for support places to help me get into work and recently used The King's Trust, formerly The Prince’s Trust. People have suggested them to me, and I’ve heard they’re quite good, with potential options in the next few months. I’m also looking at other places for support, trying to connect with as many as possible. While there might not be loads of options, I know there are places out there because getting into work isn’t as simple as just applying. It’s a process, and I think many people just need a bit of support to get there.

I really want to get into a proper paid role, but I’ve been feeling overwhelmed, worrying about when it will happen. The waiting period is tough, and I sometimes feel guilty too. I want to do well in life, but I’m not fully sure how. I also often don’t see many positives because they feel overshadowed by the negatives like not having a job, not having much experience, not having many qualifications, not going to university, and more. I’m not just out of work, but I’ve been long-term unemployed, which makes everything feel even harder. I’m not earning either, and I dwell on the past a lot. Everything just takes a toll on me, and it’s exhausting.

I think chat breaks will be tough because this has helped me a lot and still does. I know I’m ridiculously repetitive, and I’m sorry if it’s frustrating, but I just feel like it helps get things off my chest. I keep thinking about therapy but can’t find the courage to do it. I think I mentioned to my friend that I might need it, and he might encourage me by maybe just agreeing, but he said I don’t need it. It wasn’t an insult, if anything, I think it was a compliment. I have told him that I struggle, but he might not know the full extent because I’ve had heavier thoughts. I’ve mentioned to a few people that job hunting is stressful and spoken to some about feeling like a failure, but I’ve been dismissed about those struggles, which makes it harder to open up. I’ve had the courage to open up, and when I’ve done that, I’ve just been dismissed. I’m just so glad I have here and don’t know what I would do without it. I feel like I can talk about most things here and not be judged, and it’s been here through my lows. I might be feeling way worse without here because I felt worse before, even when things were okay. Today, I had an exam, and I passed the first stage. I thought I wouldn’t, so it was good to prove myself wrong, but I still feel like it’s not good enough because I have a couple more stages to go before I get a grade 4 GCSE Maths. I’m only doing it as a background thing while also working on other things to increase my chances of getting a job. I think I need to sort out my interview techniques by doing mock interviews so that when I get future interviews, I have a better chance.

independent_

A huge well done on passing the first stage of the exam, that is wonderful and a big achievement. Of course it is good enough, everything you are doing is good enough. You are really trying and that shows through in your posts.

I honestly think you might well benefit from therapy. It sure is tough to open up and I’ve found that men in particular struggle with that. There’s a certain stereotype that I think you guys are expected to fit into and when you don’t, others can be less understanding than they would be otherwise. But therapy could help you a lot. I know you might see not needing it as a compliment, but the way I see it is that if you have an issue, it’s better to have that therapy. There might then come a time when you don’t need it anymore, and that is even more of a compliment than not needing it in the first place.

TheNightmare

independent_ wrote: »

A huge well done on passing the first stage of the exam, that is wonderful and a big achievement. Of course it is good enough, everything you are doing is good enough. You are really trying and that shows through in your posts.

I honestly think you might well benefit from therapy. It sure is tough to open up and I’ve found that men in particular struggle with that. There’s a certain stereotype that I think you guys are expected to fit into and when you don’t, others can be less understanding than they would be otherwise. But therapy could help you a lot. I know you might see not needing it as a compliment, but the way I see it is that if you have an issue, it’s better to have that therapy. There might then come a time when you don’t need it anymore, and that is even more of a compliment than not needing it in the first place.

Thanks a lot, I really appreciate that. It means a lot to hear. Therapy is something I’ve considered, and I get what you’re saying about it being helpful. It’s just a big step to take, but I’ll keep it in mind.