(TW suicide)

bignosegirly0

I’m safe. But I woke up at 3:00am randomly feeling anxious, and now I’ve switched to anger.

I can’t believe I let people take advantage of my vulnerability. I can’t believe they’re living a better life than me while I’m suffering from their actions.

[I’m keeping myself safe, but I want to walk into work so I can kill myself. Moving on isn’t satisfying enough. I want to hurt them permanently in the same way they’ve hurted me permanently]


I did apply to the NHS wellbeing services, I’m praying that it doesn’t get to this stage.

Orchid059

Hi @bignosegirly0 I am sorry you're feeling this way right now, and I want to acknowledge how deeply painful and overwhelming it must be for you. It’s understandable to feel angry when it seems like others have things easier, and I hear how much that hurts, especially when you feel vulnerable and taken advantage of. It can feel isolating when you’re struggling, and the weight of seeing others live a life that feels so much better can make everything feel even more unbearable.

Please know that your feelings are valid—what you’re experiencing is incredibly difficult, but it doesn’t mean you’re alone or that things won’t change. You don’t deserve to be taken advantage of, and I hope you can find a safe space where you can be supported and heard without judgment. Your life, your well-being, and your happiness are important, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now.

It's good to hear that you have reached out to your local NHS Wellbeing services even if it's something you had hoped you wouldn't need. They are there to support you and guide you through these feelings, as you shouldn't have to deal with this alone.

I've attached some useful links below:

Crisis Messenger (24/7) | text THEMIX to 85258
Samaritans (24/7) | call 116 123 | email jo@samaritans.org
Papyrus (2pm-midnight) | call 0800 068 41 41 | text 07786 209 697 | email pat@payrus-uk.org
Supportline (hours vary) | call 01708 765 200
Childline | call 0800 11 11