Pressure getting to me
I’ve been feeling really overwhelmed and worried about not getting "sorted" in time, especially as the months pass, like June, July, September, and October. It feels like the longer it takes, the harder it gets to stay hopeful, and I’m scared that eventually, I’ll just run out of hope. Right now, not much has happened in terms of finding a job, though I’m doing a voluntary placement to gain experience. The placement is only one day a week for a couple of hours, and I’ve tried to get more days, but it's just not available. I’m hoping that the experience will eventually help me secure something paid, but I’m not sure if it’ll be enough. I really want to move into a paid role soon, but I’m scared that if that doesn’t happen, the uncertainty will drag on long-term.
I know there’s no rush, but it feels like there’s no reason I can’t get a job, and the uncertainty is tough. Not being able to find a job is draining—I've been stuck at home applying and haven’t earned any money. I’m trying to stay constructive, but it feels like there’s only so much I can do, and the longer time passes, the harder it gets. I fear that the options I have might fall through, just like previous attempts, and I won’t get anywhere. I’m putting in a lot of effort and not just waiting around for something to happen, but it’s hard. Volunteering, which I never would have considered before, feels like it could lead to something, but I just want to see real changes. It’s frustrating because I want to do more in life, but I feel stuck until I secure a job. People are starting to ask what I’m doing, but it’s not just about them it’s about my own frustration. I just want to use my time to stay busy, earn money, and save for the future. It’s hard to stay positive right now, and at the moment, all I have is here.