(TW suicide and self harm) I’m scared to go back to work

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Faolan

This is terrible and I’m so sorry that you’re having to go through this. It can’t be nice at all to dread turning up to work because of bullying.

I know you said that you spoke to your manager and nothing got better. Did your manager speak to the people who are treating you badly? Could you speak with your manager again? Sure, they have a duty of care . There should be policies and procedures in place to stop this kind of thing.

It sometimes baffles me that adults bully other adults. It’s playground behaviour.

If nothing can get better, would it save you major stress to just give up your job? No amount of pay is worth being treated like shite and sure your health is your wealth. Put that first. You could even speak to your GP and get a sick note before you make any decisions.

Men are still disgusted by my existence and gets satisfaction from making me miserable

Try not to look at it like this. It’s not men. It’s a small minority of absolute eejits who failed to mature after leaving school and so get a little kick out of making others feel brutal. It’s not you or that you’re disgusting them. They’re just morons who need to grow up.

Life can and will get better. Once you learn to love yourself for who you are. It’s clear from your other posts that you don’t really like yourself too much and there’s things you wish you could change. Once you learn to love (or even just accept) yourself, their idiotic opinions will mean nothing. Because I promise ye, their opinions do mean nothing.

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Faolan

That sounds positive, that your manager spoke to the fella and gave him a good warning. When you say that it’s his friends outside of work, is this people coming to your place of work & bullying you? If so, regardless of whether it’s the same colleague or not, you’d have a right to report that straight to your manager. The least they can do is ban these people from visiting your place of work. You deserve to feel safe

I can hear why you’re hesitant to leave your job. Are you reliant on your wage? Would it be possible to sign on at a job centre and have them help support you in finding a new job? I guess I’m just thinking that if work is making you feel suicidal, it’s a place you need to get out of ASAP. Nobody deserves to feel like that.

I may consider talking to my GP. I’m just worried about my family finding out. Because once again, mental health is a taboo topic for my family. When they’ve been called by mental health professionals to inform them about my self harm issues, they yell at me and call me selfish, spoilt, childish and an attention seeker.

This is horrible. I’m so sorry that your family talked to you like that😫. My family are kind of the same. They don’t believe in mental health at all and could probably roar laughing if I said I had a mental health issue. It’s stupid though, you’re none of those things. You wouldn’t have to tell your family either. Like, if they’re not supportive they wouldn’t have to know what you discuss with your doctor.

I understand that not all men are horrible. I’m sorry if my statement was in poor taste. But unfortunately, from my personal experience, I’ve been mistreated continuously by men; starting from childhood to adulthood. At my workplace, I’ve dealt with many male coworkers who’ve targeted me for my looks. Even outside of work, men who I’m not familiar with would target me for not being attractive. This includes college, or even out in the streets.

No need to say sorry. I didn’t find it in bad taste at all. The reason I said what I did was more for you. If you’re telling yourself constantly ‘men hate me’ ‘men just want to hurt me’ ‘men find me disgusting’ etc, you’re going to start believing it. You know, there are no words to describe how sorry I am that some men in your life have mistreated you and made you feel like you’re undeserving. Sure, I imagine now you’re probably on edge when you’re around fellas?

would target me for not being attractive

And see, sure you’re after doing it again here. You tell yourself these things and you’re going to believe it. In their opinion, you weren’t attractive to them. That doesn’t mean you’re not attractive. I used to have the biggest crush on a girl in my town and my cousins would always say ewww. Sure, they weren’t attracted to her. but that didn’t make her unattractive. I think she’s the prettiest woman to walk the earth. I guess the difference is that the fellas you’ve encountered lack basic decency and feel the need to voice their opinions in a way that hurts you. Probably to make them feel better. In their opinion you’re unattractive, in my opinion they’re rude feckers.

Although I’ve struggled with poor self esteem throughout my life, I do genuinely have moments when I’m happy with how I look. But unfortunately, it is really easy for my self esteem to get knocked down by others. But I would like to hope that things will get better and that one day, I will no longer get bothered by how others negatively treat me in the real world.

That’s really nice to hear. It’s understandable for your self esteem to get knocked by others. I think we’re all kinda like that in a way. You can get better. Surround yourself with good people, people who lift you up and compliment you. Stick to these types of forums (not suggesting you’re using any others but I did notice you called yourself a femcel). You’re clearly a good person and you deserve good things and good people in your life who can show you that the world isn’t all that bad

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