If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Essential support for under 25s
Essential support for under 25s
Take a look around and enjoy reading the discussions. If you'd like to join in, it's really easy to register and then you'll be able to post. If you'd like to learn what this place is all about, head here.
Comments
I can hear how anxious you are for tomorrow. Just see how it does
Wow seems like you've got a lot prepared and yiu know what you are going for and the outcome.
I guess your feeling bad because of the volume of notes, is that right? A
It just sounds like you have a lot going on hence wrote it all down and there's nothing wrong in expressing yourself in the written format.
Thinking from doctors perspective...is there way you can concise it down a little maybe bulletpoint in and then they can allow you to expand on it verbally?
I've got the docs on Wednesday and scared myself!! Ive wrote things down but I'm even scared to do that', I've just bullet pointed out and asked her to ask me to expand on it... hope both of our appts go okay,
I am super anxious mainly coz it's a different person
I do have a lot i want to share but I guess it is the volume I have in notes that's make me feel bad about it.
Ive tried to condense them down to bullet points but ive just given up with trying that now. Bit too late.
I'm glad you've prepared yourself for ypur appointment too - i saw your thread on it and was meant to write a reaponse to it. Hope your appointment goes well @Invisible_me ❤️
I understand! It's hard when you not sure who you see but see it as a fresh pair of eyes.. see how it goes! You've planned it. Donts worry! No point stressing yourself over condensing notes now. Take it with you the doc can deal with it... don't feel bad... you've just wrote what your dealing with and been compleley honest...
Thank you... ive not even told my mum about it. And don't want to hide it from her either... im also scared to tell her.. - will it trigger safeguarding?? Also it's like getting there, waiting room etc. Scared... I won't hijack your thread though..
That sounds like alot, always here if you want to talk or vent after the appointment ❤️
It was a kinda positve appointment- was stressed and anxious waiting because they were running late and then didn't know which room I was meant to be going to.
Whilst I was there I was asked why I was here and what they could help me with: so I just blurted out that ive been struggling with anxiety, depression, self-harm and suicidality and have been for a while but has got more intense. Dr D then got me to fill out 3 questionnaires about anxiety and depression- which i showed i have moderate anxiety but basically chronic depression. He asked about prior treatments and if ive had therapy for any of this. Given my answer to this he's upped my medication (I didn't really want this but thats all they can do for me presently) he also referred me back to the MH team as an Urgent referral for advice/2nd opinion.
Idk what to think of this coz they can't do anything as they are still processing my CEDT referral - i also mentioned this to Dr D.
I have to go back in 4 weeks to see him again to see if anythings improved and im getting 'better' bit im doubtful anything would have changed tbh.
I also asked about a letter to say im healthy enough to go to camp America this summer - but he said he would leave it up to the MH team to decide. So im going to ask the ED health nurse on Wednesday if they can provide a with this.
I just dont want to keep feeling like this and being weighted down by it all.
I just desperately want an out to it all I'm fed up with a repetitive cycle that doesn't have an end ever 😩
Hiya so that sounds mainly positive amd well done for telling them all that!seems like you just blurted it out. Did you hand the notes in?
I guess GPS are put in a difficult situation sometimes they are supposed to know what to do but actually what they van do its quite limited. I guess all they van do is wait for referrals to come through or call in for urgent. How are you coping with uppd dose of meds?
I knkw itsbhard to imagine things ever changing but don't beat yourself up to it, it will hopefully get manageable just takes time and hopefully you'll get support along the way. Its good his rebooked you in!
I did blurt out alot, and idk why coz i don't even do that with Dr S proably coz he actually reads my appoitment notes so is aware of what is want to say. But it seemed like Dr D wanted me to lead which was different I found.
I didn't end up taking my notes, is took photos of them but didn't actually look at them, as alot of it flowed into each other and yeah.
Yeah its just another waiting game being in limbo still with any support currently.
I haven't actually started the increased dose yet, i was supposed to start today but idk what happened but I went to take it then didn't.
Thank you @Invisible_me need to hear this, especially after today.
Well he technically hasn't booked me in yet, just said he would see me in 4 weeks, so just waiting for that appointment now
I also only think she's spoke to them coz she was chasing wellbeing calls as well with my old therapist, who hasn't done any yet (i did day i didn't mind that he hadn't called as ive been keeping busy)
She also said how she was worried for me and that's why last time she spoke to the mental health team.
Now I'm stressing and worrying about this call, and that im going to be at work so finding a place to step out to take the call 😫
What if I miss it again?
Be as open as can. Normally the first appt is just to find out.
If you miss it don't worry you were working, phone them up and let them know.
Hope it goes well for you!
What do you hope the outcome will be from the call with the mental health team today? Is there anything you're wishing you could ask them for, or that you'd really like them to understand?
We're here to listen
I don't know what i hope for from the call, coz in my head there's like 3 things It could be about
1. My CEDT referral
2. Wellbeing call from them
3. Checking on safety - due to ED nurse concerns for me.
I don't know there is anything I'm wishing j could ask for or want them to understand, its more i want to tell them exactly how my thoughts are but I'm just scared of the outcome and that im in the mindset that I don't need help and that im doing fine on my own.
I just dont know what i want.
There's 2 part of me that just argue constantly about what I need etc
If the part of you that wants to be honest about your thoughts were to speak to the part of you that feels you don't need help, what would it say?
And then visa versa - if the part that says 'I'm fine on my own' could speak back, what would it say in return?
Both of these parts of you are really valid, Lottie, and it sounds like they each have their own reasons, needs, and fears which deserve to be taken seriously
Posting here, waiting for the phone call, liaising with your MH team - all of these are brilliant steps that you're taking. I can imagine that you are not alone in how daunting it can feel to be asking for help, and all of us here at Community are here to listen as you take this at your own pace
But I had my old ED therapist message me today about having a chat to see how I am with my wellbeing etc. I was a little reluctant to message back and agree to it just coz it was at work and felt abit uncomfy. Anyway I did end up having a chat with him on a video call whilst sat in my car.
He was definitely told by the health nurse what had been going on recently as he didnt focus on anything to do with my ED at all not till the last 5 minutes. However, he was concerned with the frequency of my suicidal thoughts and how i have acted on these and not recieved help recently * im safe now though *. He breifly said that it seems I've lost basically everything and have no fear of death or anything like that.
We did discuss my thoughts a little bit and talk about my safety etc - tbh I'm surprised I was honest coz im not always honest about my thoughts and will pretend im fine.
My old therapist has agreed to provide kinda weekly wellbeing calls. I have one next Wednesday with him at like 12pm (noon) and then he's on annual leave begining of March so idk what's happening then. Not looking forward to next one though coz we are going to talk abit more about my eating habits because since leaving therapy (well getting discharged) things have been all over the place - he doesn't want to go over things we already did in the past therapy session but I feel like we will. I know everything already that i should be doing and what I need to do but its just hard.
Still not heard back from CMHT with this phone call - idk if I phone them again to find out or wait and see if they contact me. Like in my head I want to find out why they phoned me but then the anxiety makes it difficult to even attempt to make a call.
I just dont know what to do.
There's too many things happening all at once too much uncertainty in a way.
Im exhausted with everything- but then that's coz I'll mask constantly
I thibk its good your good therapist has agreed to do wellbeing calls with you, often it just gets cut off! It's hard being honest, but be honest and tell them how things are within reason. It's exhausting carrying on when you are hiding things!
Is the CMHT call the one you mussed? Did they leave a voicemail, message email? You could wait a but or phone up abs ask, maybe your therapist or GP coild find out?
I really hope this support carries on for you , it goes well.... and not like mine 😒
I guess it is good that my old therapist is going to provide wellbeing calls - as uptil now (other than seeing the ED health nurse) I had no support really. I did try to he honest but I think i was a little reserved because it was such short notice to have a call with him and wasn't able to almost prepare for it. It is exhausting but im use to it now, just breakdown when im at home and not around others 🙃.
Yes the CMHT call is the one that i missed last week. They did leave a voicemail to day "phone back and ask for the duty desk, and he hopes to hear from me soon" so i did and was told they'd phone on friday (last week) but they haven't done that. It's possible that my GP or therapist could find out but idk about it and feel anxious/nervous to ask about it.
I kinda hope the support carries on or i get somewhere with CEDT.
Also hope that you get the support you need to @Invisible_me and that it goes well❤️