Uni mental health

Lola_G

So last year September I started my first term at uni and I thought it was going to be a cool fun new experience but honestly it was just the worst time of my life. I’m a quiet person generally but not necessarily shy, but I just found it so hard to make friends, luckily I had a few from my secondary school but everyday was so painful and my mental health suffered so bad I’d cry myself to sleep almost everyday. My bf and I are also now long distance as he goes to a different uni and he was loving it first term and has so many good new friends and it was like another punch in the gut to see him so happy when that’s all I ever wanted, like I’m honestly so happy for him but I so wish I had that too.

Now I’m going back next week for the second term and just had a meltdown and struggled to breathe when I thought about it. I don’t want to leave my home and my old friends and my boyfriend especially. I’ve been procrastinating so hard that I’ve done no revision so I feel incredibly guilty and keep punishing myself in my head. I genuinely feel like I’m sinking when I think about uni. It also doesn’t help that I’m not really loving my course but dropping out isn’t an option.

Is there anyone who could give me advice or some motivation or tell me it’s okay that I’ve done no revision because I can’t stop blaming myself and feeling so guilty 😭? Thank you x

AnonymousToe

I’m so sorry.
Regarding the revision - you’ve been struggling. That’s why you haven’t done it and that’s not your fault.
I’m in my first year of uni and omg it’s hard. I’m also currently riddled with guilt because I haven’t done enough revision. Uni is hard in so many ways. It’s not the most important thing in the world though, at least that’s what I keep telling myself.

Could you reach out to student support? I’m sure you’re not the first person to struggle in this way.
But well done for getting through what you have of uni so far!
I really hope things improve for you soon 🫂
We’re here for you if you ever need to vent or anything

sinead276

First of all I hope you're okay. I remember how challenging and overwhelming the first year of uni was - you're dealing with a bunch of changes and new environments and people and it can be a lot for anyone. I know loneliness at university is probably more common than you think, so you definitely aren't alone in that feeling.

As for the revision side of it, like AnonymousToe said, you've been struggling and had a lot of different thoughts going on in your head, and that's probably why you haven't been in the mindset to just sit down and revise (which can be a boring task I know). I'd also recommend going to student support services at your university or one of the tutors on your course to see if they can help in any way.

sending you a big hug and remember you are amazing and not alone in this

Lola_G

Thank you! And about the student support, I’m kinda scared to talk to someone about this stuff because I never have before, I’ve only talked to my boyfriend once ever about how I was struggling and even then I found it hard to open up, so I’m quite nervous to talk to any student support systems ! 😭

Sian321

Hey @Lola_G , thanks so much for these posts!

It really does sound like a very overwhelming time right now, and I just want to echo what's been said about - that it is so valid to be struggling right now, and I really hope you can have some compassion for yourself around your procrastination because that can be such a common response to feeling overwhelmed or afraid about where to start. I can honestly really relate to that myself, and very often leave assignments to the last minute because starting them feels all-consuming. I wonder what the resistance towards revision is about for you? What kind of fears or worries underlie it? We're all sending you a hug (if hugs are your thing!)

When it comes to reaching out to student services, I hear you. It can feel so daunting to open up about this, and to kind of acknowledge for ourselves that we're struggling too! I wonder whether you could share that with student services - the fact that you're nervous, that it's taking courage to contact them. Maybe that could be a place to start? I love what has been shared above too about breaking tasks down into smaller 'chunks'. Whenever I have a task to do that I'm super nervous about, I try to 'pair' it with something 'nice', e.g. if I have an intimidating email to send, I might choose to do it at a cafe where I can 'pair' the task with a hot chocolate! Or if I'm anxious about writing out my to-do list, I might put on a nostalgic playlist in the background. Pairing something 'scary' with something 'comforting' really helps me get over that initial hurdle. I wonder if that might feel helpful?

It is also worth saying that maybe you don't want to contact student support right now, and that's also entirely okay. We support you whatever feels best!

You've got this, @Lola_G , and we're here! I know it's gets said a lot, but I hope you can be kind to youself truly. You're on your path. One foot in front of the other