Demotivation

TheNightmare

Later today, Im expected to go to Functional Skills, and I really don’t want to. I haven’t been yet, and I don’t feel motivated for it. I don’t like it, and I have to push myself to go. I know it’s not what anyone wants to do, but I’m doing a lot of other things to try to gain employment. I haven’t been for a few weeks because it hasn’t been on, and it was on last week, but I didn’t go for the same reasons to be honest. I had a bit of a leg to stand on because of the snow, but this week I don’t have a leg to stand on. I felt guilty for not going last week and still do a little bit now. I feel guilty for not going and for feeling like I’m letting him down. I also feel really guilty about doing these things, even though I know I’m trying to do what’s best. It’s hard because I’m already feeling this pressure to go, even though I’m not feeling up to it, and I just don’t know what to expect. At the same time, I just want to avoid it and stay home. It feels like I don’t have a choice but to go, and I’m just not looking forward to it. I don’t feel too motivated in general lately, like even with stuff I might have enjoyed previously. Things you don't enjoy many people aren't going to be motivated for but I'm a bit demotivated for things I did like and stuff, I just feel demotivated with some things in general including stuff I previously liked.