TW/// Can’t get them out my head

Rose113

TW// mentions of abuse and some little detail

Context

I know some people know already but basically when I was 3 years old I was put with foster carers until I was nearly 5 but basically me and one of my brothers were placed into a foster home together with a man and a woman in which from the woman we endured a lot of abuse the foster woman was evil and would abuse us with water causing us to

nearly drown as a result

she would also mess with the temperature of the water so that the temperatures of our showers were unsafe resulting in us

getting burned

and when she brushes our hair she would

pull our hair

until we started loosing chunks of hair…

Tonight

I can’t get them out of my head tonight which isn’t something knew as I always have this constant fear that they’d come back to find me and hurt me which I know is so unlike but I’ve always felt that. Especially because of what the woman did…

Sorry

ella

Hello @Rose113 ,

I'm so sorry that you had to go through what you described above. It sounds absolutely terrifying and I can imagine how scary and painful those experiences must have been, and consequently your memories too

It's understandable that you had a difficult time last night, and that the fear of them returning is constantly present. These types of traumas can have a profound and lasting impact, and it's valid to feel scared, angry, sad, or any other emotion that might come up

Please know that you don't have to carry these memories alone. You are strong and resilient, Rose. Know that you can heal at your own pace, you did incredibly well reaching out to us last night.

I’ll leave some signposts below if you need any extra support in the coming days:

There's an organisation called NAPAC which is the National Association for People Abused in Childhood. They provide emotional support and information to those affected by all types of childhood abuse and run support groups. They also support the supporters of survivors. They are open Monday - Thursday: 10am - 9pm and Friday 10am - 6pm. You can call them on 0808 801 0331 or email them on support@napac.org.uk. You can also visit their website for more information, or access a range of resources at www.napac.org.uk.

Help for Adult Victims Of Child Abuse (HAVOCA) is run by survivors for adult survivors of child abuse. They provide support and advice for any adult whose life has been affected by childhood abuse. HAVOCA is only for people above the age of 18. You can access further information and advice on their website http://www.havoca.org/ as well as you can access their database of support groups and links to therapist directories.

There’s an organisation called NSPCC. They offer advice, counselling & information to those concerned about a child at risk of abuse, including children and young people themselves. The helpline is available Monday to Friday 11am-5pm on 0808 800 5000, but you can email help@nspcc.org.uk or complete their report abuse online form on their website at any time. You can also use their online form to report abuse. If they feel a child is being abused or neglected they will want to intervene by using the information that you give them so if you want to remain anonymous then you should not give them personal details about yourself. You can also go to www.nspcc.org.uk for more details.

Rose113

Thank you @ella

I don’t really ever talk about what happened in the foster home. That foster home gave me a fear of showers and water which I know is silly but it’s always had a lasting effect

Riley_2001

@Rose113
Gosh, I’m so sorry you’ve been through something so awful. I can only imagine how terrifying that must have been, along with those thoughts you’re having. It’s okay and understandable that these thoughts may pop into your mind unexpectedly. You’re a very strong soul for discussing such things. I hope you’re feeling okay. 🖤

Orchid059

Rose113 wrote: »

Thank you @ella

I don’t really ever talk about what happened in the foster home. That foster home gave me a fear of showers and water which I know is silly but it’s always had a lasting effect

Hi @Rose113 you are so brave and it's understandable that you don't want to talk about it. I can imagine it must be so overwhelming and scary having those thoughts that you can't get out of your head, so it's brave to reach out to us for support. It's not silly the way you feel as what has happened to you is truly awful and how you feel is valid. Have you received any support about what you have been through at all as you deserve to have that therapeutic support and guidance that can help you come to terms with your feelings and hopefully allow you to not feel so fearful of your thoughts. You're not alone and you don't have to suffer in silence, while it may seem so scary at the moment it will get easier to manage.

We're here for you always