Most intense cry of my life.

Riley_2001

This evening I cannot describe the pain I felt in my chest and heart. A cry to the point of laying in bed, curled up, knees up to my chest and cuddling a teddy bear, because I have nobody. It was horrible. I’m sure I’ll cry again soon. (I am safe and haven’t or won’t harm myself)

The pain of my life has made me softer, quieter, gentler, kinder, more understanding and patient... yet weak, sad and desolate. My unheld hands as cold as the recent snow, yet soft like clouds. With each step I am reminded of my failures, forever moving forward but never actually moving. Each crunch of snow that I walked in, i hear a similar sound to that of how my heart feels and sounds. My heart still beats, but just like my voice it's not loud, A gentle whisper of warmth surrounding the cold depression that fills my lungs. May someone find beauty in my weak softness.

AnonymousToe

I’m so sorry 🫂 we’re here for you. We don’t want you to have nobody so we’ll stick here and support you I really hope things get easier for you soon

Riley_2001

@AnonymousToe Im okay… thank you. 🫂 But I hope you’re okay too, I saw your recent post about the troubles you’re facing. We are all here for you, to support you and cheer you on from afar. We may not be physically in your corner, but we are always there for you. 🖤

eylah

your not alone you have us here at the mix we are always here for you no matter what. i hope you managed to get some sleep and i hope today is kinder to you.

Sian321

Hey @Riley_2001 , I just wanted to say that last night sounds extreamly hard, and that pain in your chest and heart was really overflowing. That sounds like such an intense and lonely expereince to have gone through, and I'm so glad you're able to share with us here.

If you feel comfortable saying, where do you feel that pain was coming from for you? What was it 'saying'?

Also, I feel really moved by your description of how you have managed to hold onto your 'softness' through the pains of your life. That can be extreamly difficult, not to harden or build walls when we're hurt. How beautiful that you allow yourself to feel like this, even when its loud

Riley_2001

@Sian321 Hey Sian. The pain was just a build up of all my loneliness and internal sadness. It was a firm reminder of how truly alone I am, but also a reminder of how capable I am and that I still do everything anyway, even on my own. Yet, I just feel very weak. I feel like I’m too soft and sensitive for this world. It makes me a very weak person in its ways.

I hope you have a lovely weekend. ☺️

Also @eylah Thank you for the kind words and support, I truly appreciate it and I hope you’re doing okay with everything going on with you. 🖤

TheNightmare

Im so sorry you're struggling right now but like other people are saying we're here for you. Im here if you need to pm anyone too. I really hope things get better for you soon.

shannon_164

we’re always here for you @Riley_2001 🩷✨

Riley_2001

@shannon_164 Thank you, you’re as sweet as always.

@TheNightmare Thank you for the kind words and support. I’m feeling okay since, it was just an awful evening and night. The same goes to you, if you ever need someone. ☺️