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Most intense cry of my life.
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This evening I cannot describe the pain I felt in my chest and heart. A cry to the point of laying in bed, curled up, knees up to my chest and cuddling a teddy bear, because I have nobody. It was horrible. I’m sure I’ll cry again soon. (I am safe and haven’t or won’t harm myself)
The pain of my life has made me softer, quieter, gentler, kinder, more understanding and patient... yet weak, sad and desolate. My unheld hands as cold as the recent snow, yet soft like clouds. With each step I am reminded of my failures, forever moving forward but never actually moving. Each crunch of snow that I walked in, i hear a similar sound to that of how my heart feels and sounds. My heart still beats, but just like my voice it's not loud, A gentle whisper of warmth surrounding the cold depression that fills my lungs. May someone find beauty in my weak softness.
The pain of my life has made me softer, quieter, gentler, kinder, more understanding and patient... yet weak, sad and desolate. My unheld hands as cold as the recent snow, yet soft like clouds. With each step I am reminded of my failures, forever moving forward but never actually moving. Each crunch of snow that I walked in, i hear a similar sound to that of how my heart feels and sounds. My heart still beats, but just like my voice it's not loud, A gentle whisper of warmth surrounding the cold depression that fills my lungs. May someone find beauty in my weak softness.
My forest welcomes your sad days too.
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Comments
pfp made by me
If you feel comfortable saying, where do you feel that pain was coming from for you? What was it 'saying'?
Also, I feel really moved by your description of how you have managed to hold onto your 'softness' through the pains of your life. That can be extreamly difficult, not to harden or build walls when we're hurt. How beautiful that you allow yourself to feel like this, even when its loud
I hope you have a lovely weekend. ☺️
Also @eylah Thank you for the kind words and support, I truly appreciate it and I hope you’re doing okay with everything going on with you. 🖤
@TheNightmare Thank you for the kind words and support. I’m feeling okay since, it was just an awful evening and night. The same goes to you, if you ever need someone. ☺️
Please talk all you want. ☺️ I’m sorry to hear about your struggles with ADHD and ASD. It’s not stupid either to not be able to talk verbally until you trust a person. Thats nothing to be ashamed about and it’s certainly not silly. Our brains can certainly make us feel so isolated and alone. But we’re never truly alone in this world. I can understand how you feel, especially feeling isolated and alone. Keep trying and keep your heart open. Making friends takes time, especially making ones that will understand you and accept you for who you are.
I hope you’re okay. ☺️