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I would be successful in life if I was attractive
bignosegirly0
Posts: 66 Boards Initiate
In other news, the sky is blue!
But generally, it’s sad that there’s been many studies done that proves that your success in life is determined based on your appearance.
A girl in my workplace, let’s call her A, has a great social life, good car, good relationship and a side career as a dance teacher. I recken it won’t be long until she’s able to quit her main job to peruse a full time job as a dancer. She’s blonde, has a small nose, hourglass body
Meanwhile, I failed my dream career, got no friends. No car, no relationship and work in a slum. I’m a frizzy haired brunette, a big nose and a flat-ish body.
She’s won the generic lottery, while I’ve got bankrupted. I want to live her reality. I want to be her.
But generally, it’s sad that there’s been many studies done that proves that your success in life is determined based on your appearance.
A girl in my workplace, let’s call her A, has a great social life, good car, good relationship and a side career as a dance teacher. I recken it won’t be long until she’s able to quit her main job to peruse a full time job as a dancer. She’s blonde, has a small nose, hourglass body
Meanwhile, I failed my dream career, got no friends. No car, no relationship and work in a slum. I’m a frizzy haired brunette, a big nose and a flat-ish body.
She’s won the generic lottery, while I’ve got bankrupted. I want to live her reality. I want to be her.
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Comments
I can hear that you feel like you are bankrupted genetically, feeling trapped by factors that are outside your control. That sounds so infuriating, and it's really valid that we might compare ourselves to others sometimes and even wish that we were a different person. It feels to me that what is 'wrong' is not anyone's body or appearance, but the societal systems that centre and push specific and narrow beauty standards. Your body was never the problem
While I hear you saying that physical appearance can play a role in success, I wonder what else might be more within our control when it comes to living a fulfilling life too? For example, is I am trying to make friends, a great place to start is often to think about how I can be a better friend to others first. For example, how I can be more curious, ask kind questions, show interest in those around me etc. Being a good friend can be a great way to make new friends. Taking little actions like this can go beyond physical appearance, and help me to feel more empowered by the things I can do and can change.
You mentioned A having lots of things in her life, such as a good car, a social circle, and relationship. This made me wonder, what are your dreams?
We're here for you @bignosegirly0 and we're listening! I'll share some further support options around body image below if helpful:
https://www.themix.org.uk/mental-health/body-image-and-self-esteem
Whilst there are some things that may be out of control, such as how others treat me, there’s things I can control, in regards to taking care of myself. I am good at eating healthy and visit the gym daily. Also in my free time, I study for my drivers theory or partake in making art. Unfortunately I do struggle to take care of myself mentally. No matter what I try, if I feel sadness, I will feel it to an extreme level and lose motivation to do anything.
Sadly, I’m unable to make friends with people my age in my current workplace, because they all hate me. I work in an area with individuals my age who likes bantering with each other and enjoy taking the piss out of people they don’t like. When I first tried to make friends, the main thing they’ve focused on is how ugly I am. And when I don’t let them walk all over me, they just suddenly pretend I don’t exist. The amount of times I’ve tried joining in conversations, just to be ignored.
Whilst I’m still job searching (I’ve received many rejections from indeed), making friends at my workplace isn’t an option.
When I was younger, I also had unrealistic dreams. I wanted to pursue a creative career, but I live in an area that lacks creative opportunities. So I’ve wasted four years of college, just for nothing.
So now all I want in life is a job where my coworkers don’t hate me.
I wanted to find love as well, but I’m fully convinced that’s another impossible goal, considering I don’t get along with most people my age, due to previous experiences of being targeted for my looks. So I’m happy to just find a job that gives me a purpose in life.
Also, thank you for the app recommendation. I would love to give it a try
I don’t mean this arrogantly but as someone who by modern standards is considered attractive, I can confirm that good looks don’t guarantee success, I have no friends, no girlfriend, no job and I’m just sitting at home waiting for opportunities, so don’t be hard on yourself, the reason your struggling is not because the way you look, it’s just that it’s so hard to make your way in the world today no matter what your appearance
Also even I have insecurities about my appearance, I don’t really like my hair, it’s quite straw like even though I wash it every day, and I worry I don’t look adult enough and I still look like a silly teenager. Also the girl in your workplace, her life isn’t perfect because no ones life is perfect and she’s gonna be struggling with something, she just doesn’t show it because people want you to think their lives are perfect when they’re not, so it wouldn’t fix everything if your life was like hers
My point is it’s not you thats the problem or the way you look, it’s just that life is very hard and opportunities are hard to get no matter how you look, and people who are good looking and have a good life are struggling with something just like the rest of us it’s just that they either don’t like talking about it, or want to create an image of themselves and their lives that seem perfect