I would be successful in life if I was attractive

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Hi @bignosegirly0 , how are you doing? I just wanted to check in as it sounded like you were going through a hard time.

I can hear that you feel like you are bankrupted genetically, feeling trapped by factors that are outside your control. That sounds so infuriating, and it's really valid that we might compare ourselves to others sometimes and even wish that we were a different person. It feels to me that what is 'wrong' is not anyone's body or appearance, but the societal systems that centre and push specific and narrow beauty standards. Your body was never the problem

While I hear you saying that physical appearance can play a role in success, I wonder what else might be more within our control when it comes to living a fulfilling life too? For example, is I am trying to make friends, a great place to start is often to think about how I can be a better friend to others first. For example, how I can be more curious, ask kind questions, show interest in those around me etc. Being a good friend can be a great way to make new friends. Taking little actions like this can go beyond physical appearance, and help me to feel more empowered by the things I can do and can change.

You mentioned A having lots of things in her life, such as a good car, a social circle, and relationship. This made me wonder, what are your dreams?

Beyond physical appearance, what are some things you would love to grow in your life in 2025?

We're here for you @bignosegirly0 and we're listening! I'll share some further support options around body image below if helpful:

Worth Warrior is a mental health app that helps you manage your thoughts and feelings around body image, self worth and eating difficulties. It has been designed by professionals using NHS approved CBT techniques. It is available for free from https://www.worthwarrior.co.uk/ or the Apple and Android app stores.

https://www.themix.org.uk/mental-health/body-image-and-self-esteem

Past User

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JMMV2005

@bignosegirly0 I’m sorry that you feel like this

I don’t mean this arrogantly but as someone who by modern standards is considered attractive, I can confirm that good looks don’t guarantee success, I have no friends, no girlfriend, no job and I’m just sitting at home waiting for opportunities, so don’t be hard on yourself, the reason your struggling is not because the way you look, it’s just that it’s so hard to make your way in the world today no matter what your appearance

Also even I have insecurities about my appearance, I don’t really like my hair, it’s quite straw like even though I wash it every day, and I worry I don’t look adult enough and I still look like a silly teenager. Also the girl in your workplace, her life isn’t perfect because no ones life is perfect and she’s gonna be struggling with something, she just doesn’t show it because people want you to think their lives are perfect when they’re not, so it wouldn’t fix everything if your life was like hers

My point is it’s not you thats the problem or the way you look, it’s just that life is very hard and opportunities are hard to get no matter how you look, and people who are good looking and have a good life are struggling with something just like the rest of us it’s just that they either don’t like talking about it, or want to create an image of themselves and their lives that seem perfect