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I need advice
user123
Posts: 9 Confirmed not a robot
Hi everyone
I was talking to this guy and basically he would just make sexual comments and I wasn’t interested in that.
My boyfriend now messaged me for the first time the same day I was talking to this other guy and that was the last day me and this other guy communicated. I’m a very loyal person and I want to give my full attention to somebody.
I just feel this sense of guilt that communication took place on the same day with both of them. I feel really worried I haven’t been honest with my boyfriend.
All I said to my boyfriend was that there was this guy who would just make sexual comments etc and I wasn’t interested in it.
I engaged a bit in conversation with this other guy but I never would have done anything further and he knew this.
Have I been dishonest? Do I need to disclose any further details?
I would look like a lunatic to mention this now that it’s already passed and make it seem like a bigger deal than it is which is why I feel like I’m stuck.
Me and my boyfriend are together for 4 months now and this all happened in the summer.
Does anyone have any advice for me please? Thanks
I was talking to this guy and basically he would just make sexual comments and I wasn’t interested in that.
My boyfriend now messaged me for the first time the same day I was talking to this other guy and that was the last day me and this other guy communicated. I’m a very loyal person and I want to give my full attention to somebody.
I just feel this sense of guilt that communication took place on the same day with both of them. I feel really worried I haven’t been honest with my boyfriend.
All I said to my boyfriend was that there was this guy who would just make sexual comments etc and I wasn’t interested in it.
I engaged a bit in conversation with this other guy but I never would have done anything further and he knew this.
Have I been dishonest? Do I need to disclose any further details?
I would look like a lunatic to mention this now that it’s already passed and make it seem like a bigger deal than it is which is why I feel like I’m stuck.
Me and my boyfriend are together for 4 months now and this all happened in the summer.
Does anyone have any advice for me please? Thanks
3
Comments
If you and your current boyfriend are happily together, then I don’t see much reason to mention it again, especially if it’s not causing any problems within your relationship and communication with you both is strong. It’s a lost chapter of someone you weren’t with and engaged in small conversation.
I wish you both a lovely and happy relationship. ☺️
Yes you are right we weren’t together then. I didn’t expect my now boyfriend to message me that day and I stopped communication with the other guy. I wasn’t talking to them both at the same other than that very first day my boyfriend popped up.
I just can’t stop thinking about this and that I haven’t disclosed the full truth. But if I were to mention it I would be making a big deal about it when this other guy just wanted sex that’s all he ever talked about and I wasn’t interested in engaging in that. So I don’t think I even have the choice of mentioning it because I would be making a huge deal out of it.
I’m annoyed I just didn’t say it in the first place but did it really matter anyway? I didn’t even know my boyfriends intentions the very first day he texted me.
With the other guy I messaged him that same day to say essentially I would flirt but I wouldn’t take anything beyond that and we never engaged after that day.
i'd say try not to worry about the past and the other guy situation too much (easier said than done i know) - and try to just focus on the future and being happy with your current boyfriend, as i'm sure you both deserve that happiness
sending big hugs
Sinead
however i know it's probably still something that weighs on your mind so if you still felt the need to, you could try having a gentle and calm conversation with your boyfriend about it. whether this be a "hey i need to talk to you about something that is weighing on my mind recently", then explain the situation, and how even though you haven't messaged the guy at all since being with your boyfriend, it is something you feel you need to get off your chest to help you enjoy the relationship you have with him even more.
whatever you decide to do it ultimately your decision to make, and know that we are all supporting you and here to help and offer more advice when you want/need it