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my attempt at recoveryđ
struggling0_0
Posts: 103 The Mix Convert
i really want 2025 to be a positive year and give recovery my all but i am also that person that feels like theyâve ruined everything if i mess up one day:( i already feel like ive ruined the whole year because the first 4 days of january havenât been super positive and productive. i know that not everyday can be a perfect day, no matter how good your mental health is youâre gonna have down days too so i know already i have super unrealistic expectations for myself - thatâs what annoys me about me, everyone else iâm always like âyour best is enough and thatâs all anyone should expectâ but when itâs me my best just isnât ever enough:(
i feel like having something to hold me accountable in a way for trying to recover could be helpful, hence this thread!
i feel like having something to hold me accountable in a way for trying to recover could be helpful, hence this thread!
3
Comments
tw// mentions of self harm & disordered eating
positives:
â˘tidied my room
â˘washed my hair
â˘went to doctors
â˘done some diamond art
â˘read some of a book
â˘reached out to samaritans
â˘joined chats
negatives:
â˘relapsed with self harm
â˘pretended to doctor i felt better than i do
â˘had an argument with family
â˘struggled with eating
since i tidied my room look at my little jellycat collection, (the little cloud and mushroom arenât jelly cats though) hehehe
i think im just going to try and finish of the diamond art picture ive been working on all week and then maybe do some college work if im in the mood for it later:)
i really am sooo aware of the fact i expect too much from myself, i have been really trying to find positives in everyday no matter how bad of a day it is but sometimes itâs really hard:(
thank you so much i appreciate it!
Sounds lovely, you should be proud of yourself. âşď¸ Even if you did 0.5% more than yesterday thatâs still progress. You also had more positives happen than negatives, plus a clean and tidy room. If you try, you never fail. (Love the collection by the way)
TW// mentions of self harm
positives:
â˘sat my first exam
â˘signed up to go back to netball
â˘went to doctors
â˘seen my psychologist
â˘went to my group
negatives:
â˘my room is such a mess
â˘messed up my first exam
â˘struggled to talk to psychologist
â˘letter from cmht
â˘self harmed
i am really trying so so hard and want to get back into my sunday routine again properly where i wouldâve went for a longggg walk along the beach n stuff, had a shower and washed my hair then done my skincare, done all my washing and then had a little movie night with my cat ready to start the next week but i just feel so low and itâs so difficult:(
It sounds like this past week has been very hard, and it's left you really low That is so, so valid @struggling0_0 , particularly when coping with exam stress and finding it hard to open up to your psychologist. Those types of conversations can feel so daunting, esspcially if you've had negative expereinces in the past.
I think it's really lovely that you have also been able to celebrate yourself here for the things that have been positive, like the fact that you did go to see your doctor and psychologist even if talking was hard, and the fact that you got through your first exam! That's brilliant, @struggling0_0 , and it's so clear just how much energy and effort you have been putting into trying to ask for help and do things that are supportive and kind for yourself. Signing up to return to netball too sounds like a big step, so well done! - how are you feeling about that?
I hear what you're saying about feeling a bit frustrated with yourself (?) about being unable to follow your usual Sunday routiune, and at the same time, it makes sense that at the end of a really demanding week there's a part of you that just doesn't have the energy. I hope you can be gentle with yourself, @struggling0_0 , and we're here for you. For me personally, I like to try and have different 'levels' of my routines to match my energy. E.g. usually on a work evening I'll spend 1 hr cooking and reading whilst I eat, 1 hr doing house chores and life-admin tasks, then 1 hr doing something cosy like collaging or watching a TV show. But if I'm super tired, I might set a timer on my phone to do just 10 mins of house-work so that I can prioritise my cosy activity instead. I wonder if there's one part of your usual Sunday routine that feels good right now? E.g. maybe taking 10 mins to do your skin-care and making that your focus? Or sitting on a nearby bench with a flask of tea, rather than a long walk? Or prioritising cuddles with your cat and a nice movie?
It's okay to adapt these things when you're low on energy and it certainly doesn't have to mean you're failing or falling behind Our mental health can be like the weather - there are days where its stormy or dark, and just like we'd do when its raining, we can give ourselves permission to change our plans. I feel proud of you for all the positive you'd made happen this week, and all you're coping with. It can take a huge amount of energy and courage to stay afloat when we're struggling, and you're doing your very best