nothing to look forward to

bignosegirly0

Since high school, I feared I’d have nothing to look forward to in life.

And it’s seems like it’s coming true.

I’ve failed in getting my ideal career (due to living in a area with lack of creative job opportunities)

I’ve failed getting into a relationship due to my unattractiveness (even though I’m trying to improve my looks, I still look bad)

I have nothing going on for me

All I have to look forward to in life is to:
•get a car
•get a new job
•get a house
•survive

And then I die.

Maia

Hey @bignosegirly0

Thank you for sharing this, It sounds like things are feeling really heavy and down for you right now?

I really hear what you're saying, and you're definitely not alone in feelings this way. Life can feel like it's on a loop sometimes, especially when things don't go as planned or when you're in a place that doesn't necessarily support your aspirations for life.

I've felt this way before too - like everything was just about surviving, and it didn't feel like there was much for me to look forward to. For me, I ended up moving to a different country, this totally shook things up for me (despite believing that nothing could ever change!) and gave me a fresh start. It wasn't easy, and sometimes it's still pretty gnarly but it helped me see things from new perspectives. I’m not saying you have to move countries or do something drastic like that, but it’s a reminder that anything can happen, and even though the future feels foggy right now, life doesn’t have to feel so dull forever. Sometimes, even small changes can lead to bigger opportunities.

I'm curious, what was your ideal career? When you mentioned creativity - It made me wonder is there are hobbies or online communities where you can explore that side of yourself? Even if local opportunities are limited, there’s a whole world out there where you might find people who get you. Sometimes, those connections can lead to unexpected paths too.

I’ve failed getting into a relationship due to my unattractiveness (even though I’m trying to improve my looks, I still look bad)

This feels heavy @bignosegirly0 and i'm really sorry that you're feeling like this about yourself. Society puts so much pressure on women, making us feel like our worth is tied to our appearance. What I've learnt (and I hope this helps) is that while looks undeniably open certain doors, the relationships built on deeper stuff - like shared humour, values, and emotional connections - are what really last. I totally believe that everyone can find love and while it might not mean much to you right now - looks aren't the be all and end all when it comes to finding that love

That doesn't make the worlds obsession with appearances any easier, though. If you could design the kind of relationship you want, beyond surface level, what would it look like? What kind of person would make you feel safe, loved and valued? Focusing on that might help remind you that you're worthy of the kind of connection that sees all of you - not just just the outside. (No pressure to share that here if you're not comfortable, but its something that might be helpful to think about).

Life can really suck when it feels dull, @bignosegirly0 , what does your support system look like right now? You don't have to carry all of this alone

bignosegirly0

@Maia quick disclaimer: I’m drunk whilst writing this. So my English may be broken.

I wanted to work as a graphic designer. I was too arrogant and thought I would be able to work at the only design place in my town. But I haven’t got far. I live in quite a small area and can’t afford to move.

I do engage with my creative hobbies, like digital art.

My ideal relationship would be someone who not only shares similar interests with me, but also is comfortable enough to introduce me to their owns. I yearn for someone who I can emotionally connect to and lean to for emotional support (obviously, I want to provide the same emotional support). I want someone to make memories with, share a house, get married and have the privilege to grow old with.