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How I am at the moment - feeling low TW
Past User
Posts: 0 Community Veteran
The user and all related content has been deleted.
3
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From what you’ve described Christmas does sound like it was a lot of pressure like the expectation of getting out of bed when your family wanted you to. You’re not stupid for spilling your sisters coffee I’m sorry you were made to feel that way. It’s understandable that going to the graveyard felt hard, for some people it can be comforting but it’s okay to find it upsetting. I feel the same way you do.
It sounds really painful to feel like your stepmom would be ashamed of you. I don’t think she would be at all. I think she would see you trying really hard and caring a lot about people. You are so supportive and caring here. Grief can feel really hard all the time and especially at Christmas when people expect you to be festive. The first Christmas without a family member can be very tough, even if you didn’t celebrate with them. Thinking about your auntie not being here sounds really painful. I can relate to that feeling. Someone told me once that when we lose a loved one while they are not physically here anymore the love and connection we have for them lives on in a different way for example through their favourite music, their favourite foods, memories you have of them. If that doesn’t feel relevant for you that’s completely okay. You’re not a horrible person for not missing your nan, like you said with things like dementia the grief process can begin before they pass away.
The situation with your friend sounds so hard, I’m sorry you’ve been let down when you’ve been there for her. It’s valid that you want to feel supported too. Is there a way you could get your thoughts out about this so it’s not circling around your head? Maybe something like writing your thoughts down on a piece of paper and then throwing it away so it’s ‘out of you’
You don’t deserve to be in such pain Chloe, I can really hear how your day to day life has been impacted, your sleep, feeling stuck in bed and how much you are able to talk in person and over messages. You’re going through a lot I’d invite you to take it one minute/hour/day at a time and try being kind to yourself like you are to other people.
Keep talking here we’re here for you
so on top of that i'm just gonna add that i (and everyone else here) am so proud of you for still being here and carrying on despite how hard it feels at the moment. remember we are all here for you if and when you need us - you've got this!!!