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2024
TheNightmare
Posts: 2,764 Boards Guru
As 2024 is nearing its end, it’s been a very hard year overall. It was meant to be the year I got into work and had a sense of redemption, but in my opinion, it’s actually been the opposite, despite all my efforts. It started with a setback, and it’s been downhill from there, with job rejections, not hearing anything back from employers, being doubted, and getting hope from things only to end up back at square one. There’s been a lot of stress, low mood, uncertainty, sleepless nights, and self-doubt. This time last year, I thought I had a clear way out, but I ended up back at square one. I thought that was it, and I had people’s encouragement, but I jinxed it. I’ve been through situations like this before, and it’s been a knock to my confidence. I know I’m being a broken record by constantly going on about it, but it’s had a big impact, and I just feel like a lot of things have been a rough journey for me, not smooth at all.
The pain still carries on, and I really hope 2025 will be the year I improve. If I stay in this position or don’t make progress, I fear I’ll run out of time, and the pain will only get worse. Right now, I just want things to improve and the pain to stop. It’s been really tough, and it often feels like a constant battle, worrying about my future and situation and feeling bad about myself. I’m not in the Christmas mood at the moment, and in general, I often feel like I’m not in the mood to do anything. Most, if not all, of this I’ve struggled with alone, as I haven’t had many people in person to fully talk to about it. But I have this amazing community online, which has really helped me because I know that without it, the struggling might have been unmanageable. I’ve had very dark thoughts, but coming on here to talk and feel supported has made a big difference. The amount of support I have overall is crazy, I know how repetitive am but you understand. I just hope that 2025 will be the year I improve because if not, I feel like those dark thoughts will only grow bigger. The time it’s taking is just going to feel like it’s dragging on, and the pain will only increase. I think any improvements I have made has been due to the support here like you need the mindset to make changes which the support from here has helped me and I think with here by my side I can do this.
I hope that for now, I could get into the Christmas mood and that the new year brings an upward turn, but to be honest, I’m not feeling very confident about it. I do think it’s possible, and I really hope it happens soon. I’m relying on it because I don’t know what to do if it doesn’t I can’t go on like this for much longer. In the end, though, I am safe though.
The pain still carries on, and I really hope 2025 will be the year I improve. If I stay in this position or don’t make progress, I fear I’ll run out of time, and the pain will only get worse. Right now, I just want things to improve and the pain to stop. It’s been really tough, and it often feels like a constant battle, worrying about my future and situation and feeling bad about myself. I’m not in the Christmas mood at the moment, and in general, I often feel like I’m not in the mood to do anything. Most, if not all, of this I’ve struggled with alone, as I haven’t had many people in person to fully talk to about it. But I have this amazing community online, which has really helped me because I know that without it, the struggling might have been unmanageable. I’ve had very dark thoughts, but coming on here to talk and feel supported has made a big difference. The amount of support I have overall is crazy, I know how repetitive am but you understand. I just hope that 2025 will be the year I improve because if not, I feel like those dark thoughts will only grow bigger. The time it’s taking is just going to feel like it’s dragging on, and the pain will only increase. I think any improvements I have made has been due to the support here like you need the mindset to make changes which the support from here has helped me and I think with here by my side I can do this.
I hope that for now, I could get into the Christmas mood and that the new year brings an upward turn, but to be honest, I’m not feeling very confident about it. I do think it’s possible, and I really hope it happens soon. I’m relying on it because I don’t know what to do if it doesn’t I can’t go on like this for much longer. In the end, though, I am safe though.
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Comments
We're extremely proud of your progress. We're extremely proud of you for not giving up even when it feels like you can't continue the battle. Like @sinead276 said, give yourself some grace whenever things don't turn out the way you expect them to - remember that it's completely okay to take breaks.
I believe that you'll be where you want to be eventually
You mentioned this year has also really knocked your confidence, and I hear you. Again, that sounds really hard, because it can hurt a lot when events shape the ways we think and feel about ourselves. I really hope that 2025 can be a year that you're able to re-grow some of that belief in yourself, because you deserve it so much. Thinking about how you feel right now at the end of 2024, what do you think taking care of yourself in 2025 could look like, and what might you be needing to re-grow some of your confidence?
Keep us updated, @TheNightmare , and we're all here for you. I hope you can allow these last few days of 2024 to be whatever you're needing, without the pressure to show up in any particular way!
Hey @Sian321
Thanks a lot genuinely for your kind words—they really mean a lot. I’ve truly appreciated seeing you around here and always enjoy your thoughtful replies. I was worried about being repetitive and not getting any responses, but seeing messages like yours has been so uplifting.
Thanks again for your support—it’s made a real difference!
Take care.
@kaii Really appreciate all the kind comments bro hopefully I will get where I want to be next year. It really does mean a lot that you're proud of me honestly. Thanks so much your reply
@shannonxg_ means so much to hear you're all proud of me and I'm so glad you joined and great to see you round, thanks a lot.
@sinead276 thanks so much for the encouragement and the positivity. I really appreciate it all genuinely. Thanks so so much.