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Healing
Summerjune15
Posts: 99 Budding Regular
I am so ready to just leave my past in the past and become a new healed version of myself but I have no clue how to start this healing journey does anyone know where I can start thank you❤️
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Comments
Proud of you and you’ve got this
Wish to bully me…I’m used to it
Want to talk crap about me…go on then
Want to make me cry…feel free
pfp made by @Chloe234 ❤️
always! im here for you no matter what ❤️
pfp made by @Chloe234 ❤️
The first thing that came to my mind when I read your post was a feeling of curiosity about what you might need to leave the past in the past. For example, what would leaving the past behind look like? Are there any past events or situations that you're craving closure around? (No pressure to share here, just an invite to reflection!) Are there any feelings about the past that are still unexpressed which deserve your recognition?
I would also love to hear, when you envision your most healed self, what do you see? How does she feel day-to-day? What is bringing her happiness? What do her relationships look like, and her day-to-day routine? I wonder whether you could allow yourself to do some 'blue-skies-thinking' here, letting yourself dream
I know this is a lot of questions and I don't necessarily mean for you to feel pressured to reply here! I just felt very inspired by your post and wanted to offer some reflections! Sending hugs, @Summerjune15
You mentioned that one of the first steps towards building this future for yourself is healing from the trauma you've been through esspecially with your boyfriend and family. What you've described about not being believed sounds so painful to go through, @Summerjune15 and I can imagine it feeling extreamly isolating too. I wonder whether you've ever recieved any support following the abuse you experienced with him, and whether that's something you'd be interested in?
Moving into supported living when you're 18 also sounds like a big shift, and I hear you when you say it's both amazing and terrifying. May I ask, what are the parts you're frightened about?
We're here for you, @Summerjune15 and thanks so much for sharing
I’ve been going through the experience of self improvement and leaving the past behind myself, so I’ll share a few things I’ve learned
You have to forgive yourself and be kind to yourself and not beat yourself up because of past mistakes, we all make mistakes and thats ok, you also have to let go of mean things people have said to you, the words from others can never truly define you and if someone says something horrible to you it says more about them than about you, another thing to do is to feel highly motivated to self improve and leave your old self behind, I use all the angry emotions I have about my past as a motivator, like I think about things in the past and I think “I don’t want this to be my future and I’ll do anything I reasonably can to change things” and then I use the drive of my past anger as a motivator to change things for the future, basically it’s good to have a strong motivation to change things because it gives you a huge boost of energy to change things and if theres a setback and you get knocked down you have the strength to get up again
I’d also recommend writing new years resolutions for 2025 and thinking to yourself “I’m gonna make 2025 my year by doing these resolutions”
That’s probably the best advice I can give, like I said I’m on the journey to self improvement myself so I’m still learning things
You have the right attitude and you’ve got this!
Also with trauma theres gonna be challenging things you have to do to overcome it, but it’s better to face those fears than to ignore them and still have the trauma bothering you, and also you don’t have to face the biggest challenge first, you can do smaller challenges and slowly work your way up and build your confidence until your ready to face the big challenge, your still gonna have some fear when facing this big challenge but it won’t be as strong and you’ll feel able to take it on despite the fear, unfortunately theres no easy way out of this but it’s worth taking on the challenge for your long term happiness
Also I don’t know what your ex and your family did to you, but I’m guessing they’ve hurt you in some way, you don’t have to forgive people who hurt you, you only have to forgive yourself
Don’t doubt yourself because you have the strength in you to do this, and I know that because every single human being alive has the courage and the capability to take on challenges
So don’t doubt yourself because your capable of it and your already doing the right things, plus if you don’t believe you can do things its less likely you’ll be able to do them because your basically creating a barrier to stop you doing it, so it’s so important to believe in yourself and have the right attitude
Don’t bring yourself down you’ve genuinely got this
When you say you can’t get over the barrier do you mean the trauma? Because you don’t have to 100% get over trauma to be happy, some scars can never be fully healed but you can find a method of still being able to enjoy your life despite it, although I do understand these things don’t happen overnight, but they can happen over time if you take action
Also you don’t have to go through this alone, if you ever need to talk to someone you can talk to me if you feel comfortable, and theres many people on this website who will also really want to help you, plus there might be groups in your area where you can talk to people about these things or meet people who have been through similar experiences, I guess it depends on where you live if you can get access to any groups like this, but I’m sure theres plenty of groups all over the country who want to help people who are struggling because people need that a lot right now
It’s hard to do things when you live at home and have a difficult relationship with your parents, so I’m sorry its like that, however there are still things you can do for yourself to make things a little better such as being kind and looking after yourself, or doing some drawing or writing, or making a routine etc: Basically little hobbies and goals and positive things can help with hard things or at least be a distraction from them, there only small things at this point but it’s worth doing for your own well-being, also when you take small steps to make things better eventually they lead onto bigger steps and open up new opportunities, a new life will happen but it’ll take time, but think of doing things like this as the change in yourself and the first steps towards a new life
Also you said you wanted to go on supported living when you are 18, if you feel like you can’t have a life when your living with your parents maybe you should try that, I know it’d be scary but if it meant a better life it’d be worth it
It’s probably the hardest thing to do to cling onto hope and fight through hard times refusing to accept that things won’t get better despite the uncertainty, but it has to be done to make things better because if you don’t do it you’ll create barriers that you cant get over, I’ve only just recently realised this myself, I used to think things couldn’t possibly get better for me, but eventually I realised things could only possibly get better if I clung onto hope, didn’t let anything set me back, face my fears, and keep doing this despite the uncertainty refusing to believe things can’t get better, I realised if I did this I’d take every opportunity to make my life better and create new opportunities for myself to, that’s how challenges are overcome, and I guess in a way I sort of feel like I’ve found the key to overcoming challenges, and I really want to share that key with others, however it’s difficult to because it’s hard to get people to realise this key and to understand my mindset, probably because like I said having hope in hard times is the most difficult thing to do, but it’s the thing we must do and I guess I feel like I’ve gotta try my best to get people to understand all this
Sorry about all of that I didn’t mean to make this comment all about me, I just felt like by sharing my experiences and my mindset it might be able to help you in some way, basically in a nutshell what I was trying to explain is I feel like I understand how to overcome challenges and I want to be able to get others to understand it to, but it’s quite difficult to get people to understand it and it pains me because I know if they understood it they would be happier, I hope this doesn’t sound arrogant because it’s not supposed to be arrogant, I just wish I could magically duplicate my positive mindset and give it to others so they can be happier
I hope this all makes sense and I’m not just rambling, like I said sorry if the message started to be about me rather than you but I just thought if I shared my mindset and experience you might just understand it and it could help you in your own life, also sorry for the really long message, I have a habit of yapping a bit lol and when I write I tend to start writing about really deep themes and then I don’t know when to stop writing
Also about supported living, you’ll probably be living with people who are similar to you or are going through similar struggles to you so they’ll probably understand you and you might make some good friends too
Also in the journey to recovery it sounds like your doing the right things and have the right attitude
Plus I also understand being terrified of people, I’m socially anxious myself, but I’ve been forcing myself to go to a coffee shop and buy a coffee twice a week and I have got a little better, but I’m so clumsy when it actually comes to talking to people, slowly getting better at it though, but I just can’t word my words right sometimes and I end up sounding silly or I accidentally do something stupid like interrupt someone like I’m sure when I’ve ordered coffee a few times the person serving has tried to say hello or ask what drink I want and I’ve accidentally interrupted them by just jumping to saying what I want to order lol, yeah it’s so difficult, it’s like your flight or fight response kicks in when your in a social situation, sometimes I have to write things down or use a phone too actually get my point across myself
you’re doing so amazingly summer and i’m super proud of you🩷