police closed the case, lack of evidence, historical child abuse

Distraction

9 months of investigation, conclusion, not enough evidence to take to court, my mother was a monster but I take it she wasn't stupid, she covered her tracks

I don't know where to go from here, in day to day life and the case

I just don't get it anymore

briannat

Hey @Distraction

I'm not sure what's happened but this sounds like a lot to go through Do you have any support from anyone about this? Are you alright? (might be a dumb question because it sounds like the answer is no) but would you want to elaborate a bit more about what's going on for you? We're here to listen on community and provide as much support as we can.

shannon_164

@Distraction hey, i just wanted to say that although im not sure what you’ve been through (which sounds like a lot and a super difficult time), im really proud of you for sharing this and dealing with it!

it’s totally understandable that you don’t know where to go from here, you don’t have to know - im wondering if you have any support around you that could help you to figure out what’s next?

if you want to share more about the situation, which of course it’s totally up to you, then we are always here to support you as much as we can🫶🏻

Distraction

Thank you both, @briannat @shannonxg_

I decided to report her for a number of different reasons, the stuff she did was about 13 years ago so it's been awhile.

Social services were shit at their job and now it's really showing because apparently they have nothing on her, but we didn't help them much, we told them everything was ok, my mother threatened to kill us if we told the truth and it didn't seem like she was bluffing, she was suicidal and put us in some dangerous situations but I thought they would have had some kind of file that would hold something against her

I just don't know how to get evidence, the police have already interviewed her so she knows I reported her and now she doesn't have to worry about looking over her shoulder, because she's got away with it, she can just live her life

I don't know if hiring a private detective would help much or what I can do to get the case open again and for it to go to court

I've emailed the detective that was in charge some of my questions, like what evidence is needed, what can I do, I'm just waiting to hear back

My step mum says I need to deal with it all and move on, which is pretty funny coming from her since she gave me shit for going to therapy last year

I'm not alright, I've not been alright for some time and this court thing wasn't going to be the thing that made everything ok, I know that's not how it works but if she went to prison, if it was proven that what she did to me and my sisters was shit enough for her to go to prison it would have felt so great and I would have been the one to put her behind bars, I finally stood up and done something and didn't just freeze up like some scared kid again

And I'm fucking pissed at my step mum as well, deal with it and move, do you not think I've tried to deal with it, do you not think it kills me everything fucking day being this way, I know in myself that I've come a long way, I don't hear my sisters screams anymore or have nightmares but you know what I should have had someone there to let me know that, that wasn't fucking normal, when I moved away from my mothers to stay with my step mum and dad, they just pretended everything was ok and I get it, they were trying to put me into a "normal" life but I just needed someone to see me and instead I felt like I had to hide everything and act like a regular kid but I just needed a hug, some understanding, I needed help and instead they were just angry because I didn't know what I wanted to do for a career or because I cried when we had arguments, I felt so fucking alone and it's not as easy as just moving on, I'm not a victim, I don't act like one or at least I don't think I do, I have goals, I get up every morning, I work hard, I try to be nice to people, listen and understand people, see their points of views, even when they don't take the time to see mine, I'm just tired sorry

I just needed this to go to court and come full circle and for people to understand how hard it was, for it to be in black and white, for it to be proven, for it to be seen, to be able to say and feel that I put my mother in prison, that I did it for us, that I'm bloody amazing for how I turned out compared to where I started with no fucking emotional help or care, man sometimes I just need a hug and I hate myself for it, my step mum says I'm clingy and needy but no one ever fucking loved me and it's fine but I try so hard for it not to turn to hate but I'm getting so hollow now and empty and it hurts and how the hell do I move on when it constantly hurts

shannon_164

@Distraction thank you for sharing all that, i know it’s not easy - i’m so sorry you had to experience any of that:(

firstly, i just want to say i really am so so proud of you for realising what you went through was not ok and having the courage to report that - i can’t even imagine how difficult that must have been - i genuinely am SO proud of you!!

i sense you must have felt so many emotions whenever you didn’t get the outcome you needed - and that is totally understandable, your feels in response to such a challenging situation are so valid.

i’m wondering if you have anyone who could support you more practically with this? of course we are here to listen and we care about you always🫶🏻

you really are such a strong person for dealing with so so much, i mean that - you shouldn’t have ever of had to deal with any of that though, you don’t deserve that.

pls never give up and keep fighting for what you deserve✨

briannat

Hello @Distraction

Thank you for everything that you've shared in this space. I see you and what you've been through. What you described often takes years to process, experience, and get help with. It sounds like you've already done a lot to take care of yourself and your siblings which is no easy thing. I'm sorry that you had to go through what you've shared here, you didn't deserve any of that and your pain is real and acknowledged. One doesn't just "get over" something as big as this, but rather figures out ways to work through it which require time and patience. It's okay that you don't feel okay right now. I don't mean that to sound redundant but rather to say your anger, hurt, confusion and whatever else you might be feeling is welcome in this space. You don't have to pretend that things are fine, we're able to hold your experiences with you and want to listen to you. I can see this has taken up so much space in your life, have you had any moments where you can focus on something else? Any moments where you're able to put your energy and attention into something lighter that might make you laugh or bring a smile to your face. You sound worn out and exhausted from this and it feels like taking breaks would be helpful for you right now