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Why I think I worry so much and feel so negative
TheNightmare
Posts: 2,750 Boards Guru
I want to talk about why I worry so much about my future and in general. The past few years have been filled with setbacks, and I can’t help but worry about what’s ahead. I’ve struggled with academic performance, never feeling like I achieved what I could have or should have. The pressure to be successful has often led me to be harsh on myself, and I find it difficult to let go of previous mistakes. Whether it’s my college experience, which I didn’t enjoy and was only doing to get out of the house, or feeling stuck in a cycle of doubt, it all feels like one setback after another.
I’ve been stuck in the job search for longer than I expected, and it's been frustrating. I had hopes that a Forklift Truck training course would give me an opportunity out of this situation, but when I flopped it, I felt like I was back to square one. Despite having people supporting me, I ended up doubting myself and felt like I let everyone down. It's hard to shake the feeling of failure, and even though I'm moving forward and continuing to search for work, it’s tough not to keep adding it to the list of disappointments. And despite some hopeful moments with potential opportunities, they often fall through, leaving me frustrated and stuck.
The hardest part has been how long it’s taking to get a job. I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I thought it would take only a few months. Now, seeing the time pass, with Christmas approaching and still no job, it’s hard not to feel like I’m falling behind, like I’m not where I should be. Even when I finally do land a job, I know I won’t be exactly where I want to be, but I’ll at least be where I should be earning and doing what most people in their 20s are expected to do. It will be a step closer to my bigger goals, but the time it’s taking to get there has been discouraging. It’s all left me struggling to stay positive, and I often feel like my confidence has taken a hit, making it hard to feel good about any progress I’ve made.
I’ve been stuck in the job search for longer than I expected, and it's been frustrating. I had hopes that a Forklift Truck training course would give me an opportunity out of this situation, but when I flopped it, I felt like I was back to square one. Despite having people supporting me, I ended up doubting myself and felt like I let everyone down. It's hard to shake the feeling of failure, and even though I'm moving forward and continuing to search for work, it’s tough not to keep adding it to the list of disappointments. And despite some hopeful moments with potential opportunities, they often fall through, leaving me frustrated and stuck.
The hardest part has been how long it’s taking to get a job. I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I thought it would take only a few months. Now, seeing the time pass, with Christmas approaching and still no job, it’s hard not to feel like I’m falling behind, like I’m not where I should be. Even when I finally do land a job, I know I won’t be exactly where I want to be, but I’ll at least be where I should be earning and doing what most people in their 20s are expected to do. It will be a step closer to my bigger goals, but the time it’s taking to get there has been discouraging. It’s all left me struggling to stay positive, and I often feel like my confidence has taken a hit, making it hard to feel good about any progress I’ve made.
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Comments
It sounds like you have a harsh inner critic, which can be helpful in some occasions (like ensuring that you do your work to the best of your ability), but it can be quite damaging sometimes - it's especially sensitive when you haven't achieved success. Perhaps it would help for you to seek feedback from employers after an interview/application you submitted - most of them provide constructive feedback, and you may find that the applicant pool was quite tough, and the reason why you didn't get the job might not necessarily be because of anything wrong with your application/performance. It's also a good way to find out about what you've done well, which is important to remember.
Having said that, as you move forward in your job search, maybe celebrating your tiny victories can help you feel better, even if you didn't get a job. For example, it can be as simple as editing a paragraph in an application, or turning up to an interview and trying your best.
I hear you when you say that it's difficult to shake the fear of failure, and it can be easy to get caught up on your setbacks. But it sounds like you're learning a lot and seeing ways to improve and do even better. I sympathise with your struggle, it's incredibly hard to get a job, I think the whole process needs to be improved, especially for entry-level jobs. What are you particularly struggling with when it comes to the job search?
As well as this, taking breaks from searching is very important. It might be that you're burned out and are in need of a break. It might not seem productive, but it's so helpful to recharge so that you approach the whole process with a clear and refreshed mind.
I just want to say that we're all really proud of your growth. You're making a lot of progress and are getting close to where you want to be, even if it might not seem like it. I'm certain that someday, you will get that job that you've been wanting.
Good luck with everything and continue to reach out to us
Kai
@kaii I really appreciate you taking the time to reply, and it means a lot to me. I feel better now that I’ve gotten everything off my chest, and knowing that you've responded makes me feel understood and supported.
As for the job search, I think I’m struggling mostly with getting past the application stage. I feel like my lack of experience is holding me back, and that’s been tough. I’ve been considering volunteering short-term, which I was hesitant about at first, but I’m really eager to move forward as soon as possible. If volunteering will help me get closer to that, I’m definitely up for it, as long as it’s just a short-term stopgap.
Thanks again for your support I really appreciate it
I understand that a lack of experience can hold you back from getting a job, I especially find it frustrating how entry-level jobs require years of experience which is hard to find itself! I think one thing that has helped me navigate this is to demonstrate the passion you have for the role/company, and to think of other sources in your life where you have developed skills.
This could be for example, drawing has helped me develop creativity and problem-solving skills, or playing badminton with others has enabled me to develop my communication and teamwork with others. And as for demonstrating the passion you have for the role/company, adding a personal touch to why you're applying for a certain position might help. I applied to be a psychology student ambassador for my uni, and what helped me get this job was me mentioning that student ambassadors played a vital role in helping me decide to go to this uni, which made me want to help prospective students with their decisions.
I hope this is helpful in some way! Ultimately, I think what employers look for is how you communicate your skills, and this is really difficult to do effectively and takes lots and lots of practice (I'm no expert at all and am still working on this myself!), so give yourself grace if you don't get it right away, progress is still progress.
Good luck with it all and keep us updated
Cheers bro, truly appreciate it my guy