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Careers (TW: Suicide, Self-harm)
Creativeboy23
Posts: 277 The Mix Regular
I remember when a tenant asked me why I was not doing a graphic design job because I was looking for non-related jobs. After all, others told me I could not only look for graphic design jobs. This opinion has directed me away from my career path. The tenant’s comment disappointed me.
I have also seen fellow graphic design students in design positions on LinkedIn, and I thought about it when one of the students asked me how searching for design jobs is going for me. I told her that I was doing something else meanwhile, making me think I let my peers down. Of course, it is highly unlikely the case. They probably will not be thinking about what I am doing and focussed on their path and other commitments.
I know that everyone’s career path varies and is unique to each individual and that we are imperfect and will make mistakes in life, which is fine. It is okay to be where I am in my journey and take it at my own pace. I got skills fron other jobs which may be transferable to graphic design.
However, the circumstances have made me think I have been neglecting my graphic design talent, which has made me feel a lot of regret. The thought is inaccurate since I have returned to one of my graphic design projects. So, I am making as much effort as possible to nurture my passion. I have done my best, which is enough, but I have been scared that I have lost my interest and will be unable to regain it, impacting my future career if that is the case.
I know that I am not alone. There will be others in a similar situation to me.
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It’s okay to go down any career path that you choose and I understand that the tenants comment has disappointed you as correct me if I’m wrong but I’m thinking that maybe it came across as rude of them and that they are trying to choose your path even tho it’s your journey
I was wondering have you thought about doing graphic design on the sidelines along with another job until you can find the right fit for you or there’s the option of setting up your own business. However they are just some options ultimately your on your own journey and you know what you want to do within your life and it’s okay to follow your aspirations
I notice the amazing amount of hard work that you are doing and putting in within each step you take
Wish to bully me…I’m used to it
Want to talk crap about me…go on then
Want to make me cry…feel free
Hello @Rose113.
You are not wrong. Others are trying to choose my career path, although I want to quit my current job for other reasons.
I was considering doing a graphic design job alongside another. However, it would leave me with no time for my supported living programme to help me prepare for moving into long-term accommodation. I am considering maybe getting a graphic design job and then becoming freelance. Thanks for the suggestions.
I agree. I have been working hard to continue following my path, open up with others about my feelings, challenge my thoughts, and be self-compassionate.
Thank you for your support.
We are here if you’d like to share why you want to quit your current job however it’s okay if you’d rather not talk to us about it
It sounds like you have a good idea of what options you can choose which I’m pleased about
I hope whatever path you pick that you do it because you want to do it and not because someone has felt you need to
Wish to bully me…I’m used to it
Want to talk crap about me…go on then
Want to make me cry…feel free
@Rose113 I have been struggling with my work pace. I have been coping well because I have continued to work there despite the difficulty. I have told myself that I did the best I could and that is all I could have done, but that has not helped my situation.
During a shift, my manager told me to go to the other aisle so I would not spend much time in the current aisle. Her remark made my mood dip and put even more pressure on me to work faster. She did not consider the workload too much for me to manage independently and did not appreciate that I was trying to complete my work.
I shared my situation with the manager. She also said it is not just me who has to manage two aisles, which made my experience seem less significant. I also shared that work has been affecting my mental health, leading me to have to go to the crisis sanctuary after my shifts. She told me not to let work affect me. So, I thought it was wrong to be affected by work, which made me feel invalidated and ignored. Of course, it was not bad. It is usual for work to affect our mental well-being because it can be demanding, and it is never our fault if we are struggling with our mental health, but it is expected to think and feel how I do. I was left feeling worse and that I had no one to turn to, making me feel lonely. I had a suicidal thought later during my shift last Saturday and thought of self-harm before my next shift started last Sunday.
My experiences at work and the impact they have had on me have made me not want to work at the company anymore. I do not think I am psychologically safe.
I can really hear just how pressured it feels. It sounds so stressful to have been told by your manager to move to a second aisle when you were already in the middle of trying to complete your work. I know I myself can find pressure to work faster like that so anxiety-inducing. And it feels really dissapointing that when you did try to talk to your manager about this and how work is impacting your mental health, the conversation only left you feeling more alone and invalidated. That's really hard, @Creativeboy23 , and I completely agree with you that being impacted by work is so valid. For many people, work can in fact be one of the most impactful factors on our mental health day-to-day, and what you're feeling makes total, total sense.
You mentioned that after your shifts you have sometimes gone to the crisis santuary, and that last weekend you had a thought of suicide and of self-harm too. Thank you for sharing about this, and again, I can really hear just hard things are at work and the impact this is having. It sounds like you're really paying attention to yourself and acknowledging that you don't feel psychologically safe anymore. Again, thank you so much for trusting us with this, @Creativeboy23 , and we're here to listen and support you
May I ask, when you feel unsafe, what does this typically look like for you? It's so positive that you've been able to go to the crisis sanctuary - how has the support been that you receive there?
If helpful, I will share some further options of support below:
There's a free mobile app called distrACT, it's available on the App Store (Apple) and Google Play (Android). The app gives you easy, quick, and discreet access to information and advice about self-harm and suicidal thoughts. The content has been created by doctors and experts in self-harming and suicide prevention. You can find out more here https://www.expertselfcare.com/distract/
Papyrus have a HOPELINE247 which is a confidential support and advice service for children and young people under the age of 35 who are experiencing thoughts of suicide or for anyone concerned that a young person could be thinking about suicide. You can call them on 0800 068 4141, text 88247, or email pat@papyrus-uk.org. Their webchat service is available when there is a chat bubble available on their website, this indicates that an adviser is available to talk to on webchat. They are available 24/7 and their suicide prevention advisers are ready to support you. For more details, visit https://www.papyrus-uk.org/papyrus-hopeline247/
Samaritans are there for you 24/7. They offer a listening service and emotional support to anyone about any issue, with a special focus on suicidal feelings. You can call the helpline for free on 116 123 or email at jo@samaritans.org. You can also write them a letter and you can find details on their website. Some of their branches offer face to face services and you can find your local branch on their website. For more information you can go to www.samaritans.org.
CALM is a suicide prevention charity on a mission to help people end their misery, not their lives. They provide life-saving services, information and advice to help anyone struggling with life navigate the issues that can make us feel miserable. They can offer practical ways to manage your mental health, and help you feel less alone by sharing stories of hope to show people there's a way forward. They have a helpline open everyday 5pm-midnight. You can call them on 0800 585858, Whatsapp them on +44 20 4587 6634, or use the webchat on their website. For more information you can go to www.thecalmzone.net.
How do these options sound?
I also wanted to acknowledge what you were saying further up in this thread too about your fears around losing interest in graphic design or drifting away from the future career path that you really want for yourself. Again, this sounds like a lot to be coping with right now, esspcially when you're in a job role that you want to leave.
We're here for you @Creativeboy23. Keep us updated if you wish
Hello @Sian321.
Yes. My situation at work has been very unpleasant.
When I feel unsafe, it looks the standard way. Feeling suicidal and having thoughts of self harm whenever I am struggling to cope.
The support at the crisis sanctuary has been mixed. I have felt validated by the advisors, but one of the advisors asked what things were helping me to cope, and other questions. I felt she did not give me much space to express how work was affecting me and she handled the matter as a diversion when, in reality, it was a serious matter. She likely intended to help me find a way to cope with the impact of work, not realising it came across to me differently.
I have technically left now. I sent a resignation letter in this week, so it has taken away the toll work has had on me.
I have been worried about losing my interest in graphic design. I have really enjoyed studying it, but I think it is just a thought that feels true. It is unlikely that I have lost it. I have been watching title sequence videos on YouTube, as well as tweaking a university project. It may be that I have got rusty because I got diverted from my career path, and it is making me think I am not interested, which is understandable.
Thank you for your support.
@Sian321 P.S. Some of them are okay. I have often been left feeling invalidated and judged when I have shared experience with CALM. I have shared this but they did not acknowledge that I felt way and was telling me what I am feeling is wrong. I have had some problems with Samaritans. I will stick with the first three services. Thank you for sending the resources.
Thank you for sharing about your experiences with the Crisis Sanctuary too. That sounds tricky - how they were perhaps trying, as you said, to help you find a way to cope - but it didn't really leave much room for you to get things off your chest and feel properly listened to. That makes sense, and I'm glad you've been able to find other spaces to talk about this
I'm so pleased to hear that since handing in your resignation you've felt some relief! How long is your notice-period, and how are you feeling about these final few weeks or days?
It feels so clear that you're really committed to staying connected to graphic design going forwards, and it's lovely that you've been revisting old projects and re-kindling your passion even more