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Wtf is my sexuality (brief mention of sexual themes)

bignosegirly0bignosegirly0 Posts: 46 Boards Initiate
I’ve been struggling with my sexuality for months now.

Since I was a child in primary school, I mostly felt attraction to boys/men. Although I felt attraction to my girl classmates without realising it was attraction. This includes:

•me saying if I was a boy, I’d date this female classmate
•thinking one of my female friends is cute and constantly wanting her attention

Because I was sneaky around my parents who tried restricting inapropriate content from, I was exposed to a lot of sexual media which sparked my sexual awakening for women.

At 14, I started questioning the content that aroused me and realised I may be bisexual.

At 16, I lost all attraction to men and thought I was a lesbian. However, my attraction towards men eventually came back

At 18, I became insecure about men not liking me (due to bullying experiences) and developed a massive preference for only men.

Now at 20, I’m confused. I wish I could say I was either, straight, gay or bi. But my sexuality keeps changing.

I find men attractive in my fantasies and in real life. I don’t find women attractive in my fantasies, but I like them in real life or in a sexual content.

I’ve never dated anyone. I wish my sexuality would stay the same and stop switching.

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