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Why I am not happy in my life
TheNightmare
Posts: 2,587 Boards Guru
I feel stuck and stressed about my situation. Most people my age are achieving things like having kids, getting married, or starting careers, but I’m still out of work and struggling. I don’t go out much because I do have friends, but they’re busy with their own lives, and I’m not a fan of clubbing or going to the pub. I’ve been trying to find a job but haven’t had much luck. I’m considering doing voluntary work to gain experience, hoping it’ll improve my chances. It’s a bit scary, but I need to make changes. Financially, I’m stressed, and I want to be able to save and enjoy life, but without a steady income, that’s tough. I’ve been trying to stay positive, doing confidence-building courses, and putting in the effort to change things. I know things might take time, but sometimes it feels like I’m too far from my goals. I just want things to improve and eventually reach my potential, enjoy life, and achieve the things I’ve been working towards.
This year was meant to be my year of improvement, but since finishing college in 2022, I’ve been trying things that haven’t worked out. A few interviews came up this year where I thought there was hope, but I didn’t get the job, and I’ve lost a bit of hope. People kept telling me it’s only February, it’s only March, it’s only April, but now it’s the end of the year, and I still haven’t gotten anything. I’ve been trying hard to look for a job, but I think the best way forward is to do some voluntary placement to gain a bit of experience. I hope that employers will see that and offer me an opportunity. It’s a bit scary, though, because what if I don’t get a paid job out of it? I thought I’d be doing better by now, and it feels like everyone else is. I know I’m on my own journey, but I’m worried it’s taking too long. I do know it’s common for young people to be out of work right now, so I’m not alone, but that also makes me worry that I’ll be stuck in this situation longer. I’m hoping that doing a placement will look better to employers than just being at home. It’s taken some encouragement to consider these placements, but I know I’m unhappy and unfulfilled staying home all the time. It’s been getting to me.
I’m also really unhappy and stressed with my financial situation right now. I’m not saying I’m the only one struggling—many people are—but since I’m not working, it’s harder. I live at home and should be saving, and I want to save. I want to buy nice things occasionally or do things that are enjoyable, but it’s tough without an income. I’m trying to make changes, and I’ve been told that I’m doing everything I can, like considering voluntary work to improve my CV. It’s not that I’m just complaining, I’m taking action, but it’s difficult. I want to make things change, and I’ve really been thinking this through. Voluntary work will help me get a paid job in the long run, even though it won’t be paid at first. I never thought I’d need to do it, but if that’s what it takes, then I’m doing it. I’m unhappy, and I want things to change because I’m really worried about my future.
I’ve been feeling like this year was meant to be a year of improvement. Since finishing college in 2022, I’ve tried different things, but they haven’t worked out. A few job interviews seemed like they might lead somewhere, but I didn’t get the job, and that made me lose hope. I’ve had people tell me it’s only the beginning of the year, and that things would get better, but here we are at the end of the year, and nothing has changed. The more months that go by, the harder it is to stay positive. I know I’ve done some positive things, like completing confidence-building courses, which have helped after some failures, but I think I just need a bit more experience. I’m trying to get that, and I hope opportunities will come.
At this moment, I’m not getting any comments or feedback, and I feel stressed and behind. Without the support I have, I don’t know what would have happened. It feels like everything would be pushing me down, and I’d be digging myself into a deeper hole. When you feel like shit and like everyone and society are against you, it’s tough. The support I have isn’t going to make me feel 100% better, but I think it helps a lot. I think everyone needs to open up, but you also need the right people to open up to. If you open up to someone judgmental, they can make you feel worse. It’s important to have the right space to share things.
I just want things to change, and I really want my efforts to pay off. Everything seems to rely on things changing, and I do think I’m doing everything I can to make that happen. I’m not just complaining, but it’s difficult. I’ve been venting, but I am making changes, doing things I wouldn’t have done before to make progress. It’s tough, but I think there’s hope. I hope I’m getting closer to the light at the end of the tunnel. This year started on a low, and I’d cry in bed, thinking “What’s my purpose? What’s next? Am I capable?” I’ve tried and failed to change things, but I’m hoping things will gradually improve. I don’t think I’ve done nothing this year—I’ve taken courses to boost my confidence, and I’ve been putting in the effort to secure something. I just think I might need a bit more experience. I’m hoping that, with that experience, opportunities will come to me.
When I secure something, I can hopefully start focusing on exciting goals, maybe enjoying life a bit, saving for a house, and more. It would be amazing to have a Mrs. who’s “the one,” a house I own, a car I like that I own, and to keep reaching my goals and potential. I keep making realistic goals for myself, and I think that’s good. Some goals might be hard or take time, but achieving them will be cool to look back on. It’s boring if everything happens overnight. Sometimes, though, I feel far from my goals, or like it’s getting too late. I know I’m doing my best, and I’m working toward making things happen, but it’s difficult when things take time.
This year was meant to be my year of improvement, but since finishing college in 2022, I’ve been trying things that haven’t worked out. A few interviews came up this year where I thought there was hope, but I didn’t get the job, and I’ve lost a bit of hope. People kept telling me it’s only February, it’s only March, it’s only April, but now it’s the end of the year, and I still haven’t gotten anything. I’ve been trying hard to look for a job, but I think the best way forward is to do some voluntary placement to gain a bit of experience. I hope that employers will see that and offer me an opportunity. It’s a bit scary, though, because what if I don’t get a paid job out of it? I thought I’d be doing better by now, and it feels like everyone else is. I know I’m on my own journey, but I’m worried it’s taking too long. I do know it’s common for young people to be out of work right now, so I’m not alone, but that also makes me worry that I’ll be stuck in this situation longer. I’m hoping that doing a placement will look better to employers than just being at home. It’s taken some encouragement to consider these placements, but I know I’m unhappy and unfulfilled staying home all the time. It’s been getting to me.
I’m also really unhappy and stressed with my financial situation right now. I’m not saying I’m the only one struggling—many people are—but since I’m not working, it’s harder. I live at home and should be saving, and I want to save. I want to buy nice things occasionally or do things that are enjoyable, but it’s tough without an income. I’m trying to make changes, and I’ve been told that I’m doing everything I can, like considering voluntary work to improve my CV. It’s not that I’m just complaining, I’m taking action, but it’s difficult. I want to make things change, and I’ve really been thinking this through. Voluntary work will help me get a paid job in the long run, even though it won’t be paid at first. I never thought I’d need to do it, but if that’s what it takes, then I’m doing it. I’m unhappy, and I want things to change because I’m really worried about my future.
I’ve been feeling like this year was meant to be a year of improvement. Since finishing college in 2022, I’ve tried different things, but they haven’t worked out. A few job interviews seemed like they might lead somewhere, but I didn’t get the job, and that made me lose hope. I’ve had people tell me it’s only the beginning of the year, and that things would get better, but here we are at the end of the year, and nothing has changed. The more months that go by, the harder it is to stay positive. I know I’ve done some positive things, like completing confidence-building courses, which have helped after some failures, but I think I just need a bit more experience. I’m trying to get that, and I hope opportunities will come.
At this moment, I’m not getting any comments or feedback, and I feel stressed and behind. Without the support I have, I don’t know what would have happened. It feels like everything would be pushing me down, and I’d be digging myself into a deeper hole. When you feel like shit and like everyone and society are against you, it’s tough. The support I have isn’t going to make me feel 100% better, but I think it helps a lot. I think everyone needs to open up, but you also need the right people to open up to. If you open up to someone judgmental, they can make you feel worse. It’s important to have the right space to share things.
I just want things to change, and I really want my efforts to pay off. Everything seems to rely on things changing, and I do think I’m doing everything I can to make that happen. I’m not just complaining, but it’s difficult. I’ve been venting, but I am making changes, doing things I wouldn’t have done before to make progress. It’s tough, but I think there’s hope. I hope I’m getting closer to the light at the end of the tunnel. This year started on a low, and I’d cry in bed, thinking “What’s my purpose? What’s next? Am I capable?” I’ve tried and failed to change things, but I’m hoping things will gradually improve. I don’t think I’ve done nothing this year—I’ve taken courses to boost my confidence, and I’ve been putting in the effort to secure something. I just think I might need a bit more experience. I’m hoping that, with that experience, opportunities will come to me.
When I secure something, I can hopefully start focusing on exciting goals, maybe enjoying life a bit, saving for a house, and more. It would be amazing to have a Mrs. who’s “the one,” a house I own, a car I like that I own, and to keep reaching my goals and potential. I keep making realistic goals for myself, and I think that’s good. Some goals might be hard or take time, but achieving them will be cool to look back on. It’s boring if everything happens overnight. Sometimes, though, I feel far from my goals, or like it’s getting too late. I know I’m doing my best, and I’m working toward making things happen, but it’s difficult when things take time.
Post edited by TheNightmare on
1
Comments
I've been seeing so many people talk about how finding the job they wanted took months or even over a year. I'm not saying this to discourage you but rather to say that it's so common for people to experience this when they're looking for a job. It's hard to find one, and it takes up a lot of time and energy (like a job within itself). Looking for the job, making sure you're qualified, applying and preparing a CV and cover letter. It's a lot of work and sometimes feels like a job itself. It's really discouraging at times and you've spent a long time going through this process. I think it makes sense that you're feeling worn out. I know it might sound cliche, but I truly do believe you will find something eventually. No matter how much time it takes. You're right where you're supposed to be, even if you feel really far behind. Some people have gotten a job right out of college or uni, and then lose their job and have to move back in with parents, some don't move out from the family home until much later in their 20s or 30s. Everyone is on a slightly different path. But different doesn't mean behind. How have you been feeling since posting this?
I can hear how stuck you've been feeling recently and although I don't have the words to make everything better for you, I do just want to spend a moment to give you credit where credit is due. You are putting in the hard yards, dude. You're doing that despite all of the setbacks that have been thrown your way. That's massive! Props to you, I hope you can see that you're doing extremely well because we can see it and I know we're all beaming with pride.
I wanted to touch on this because I know how easy it can be to compare ourselves to others - we've all been there. I know it can sometimes look like our peers have their lives all figured out but life is never as simple as that, just because it looks like they're achieving these things, it doesn’t mean they’re necessarily in the place they want to be. People are often facing struggles behind the scenes that others can't see. I guess, we're seeing the outcome and not the journey so pleaseee don't feel like you're falling behind. This is your path and you're doing an incredible job at carving it out
It must feel like being stuck in a bit of a bind when you're at home trying to save but you don't have the steady income to lean on? I'm really sorry that you have these big ambitions but you're not yet where you need to be to achieve them, @TheNightmare . It must be so difficult and it's totally understandable that you're feeling unhappy. Right now, you’re doing what you can with what you’ve got, and sometimes that’s all you can do.
Your situation right now isn't permanent, It will get better. It's just tricky to know when. You're doing the right things - putting in the effort, thinking about your future, stepping outside of your comfort zone. I guess you can think of it like planting a seed
There is always a way forward, even if it takes a bit longer than expected. You've totally got this!
@Maia Hey! I just want to say how much I appreciate you taking the time to reply to me, it honestly means so much. I always enjoy getting replies from you as you’ve been such a supportive presence in the chat threads, and you're definitely one of my favourite mods, especially now as you’ve been responding to my threads and just being super awesome in so many ways. I really appreciate that you responded to me without prompt too, it’s so kind, and I just want to say thank you for all your kind words and encouragement. ❤️
By the way, do you know how long we've known each other now? Is it about 4 or 5 months? Feels like it's been a bit of a journey, and I think what you're saying is absolutely true. ❤️
The chat thread unfortunately wasn't on Friday just gone, but I'll hopefully catch you on Wednesday and Friday coming up. Can't wait to chat again. Thanks again for being so supportive, it really means a lot for real. ❤️
@briannat Hey mate, thanks so much for your kind words and perspective. It really helps to hear that it's normal to take time finding the right job. You're right, it does feel like a full-time job in itself, and the process is definitely exhausting. I'm still struggling, but I'm doing my best to move forward. I think I'm feeling not too bad at the moment, just super bored with everything. It can be tough when it feels like things aren't progressing, but I'm trying to stay hopeful. Thanks again for the support mate
It's reassuring to hear that I'm not alone thanks again, genuinely appreciate it.
Maybe I'm not sure
You are your own person, your your own human with your own individual journey and I know it may seem like people are all like each other but mostly that’s not right but we never know the full picture of how long or how someone got to where they are now with jobs and family wise
Take your time in navigating your journey, I promise there’s no rush, you’ve got this and I believe in you, steady pace and even baby steps if need
People may have “big” achievements and that’s okay and it’s okay if you don’t either but also no achievement is too big or too small. Over your time in the community I can tell you that these are your achievements that I’ve notice
1. Your here and talking to us
2. You wake up each day and put your all in
3. You never give up no matter your struggles
4. Your always looking after people
5. Most important your always you and your true self
Wish to bully me…I’m used to it
Want to talk crap about me…go on then
Want to make me cry…feel free
@Rose113 Thanks so much for your kind and encouraging words. It means a lot to me to hear that, especially when I’ve been feeling a bit lost and uncertain. I really appreciate your reminder that everyone’s journey is different, and it’s okay to take my own time. Your belief in me and recognition of the small things I do has given me a new perspective, and I’ll hold on to that. I’m truly grateful for your support.