Feel uncomfortable - new job

Invisible_me

Hi.
I started a new flexibile 0hr contract job Thursday. First shift was Thursday for a job in a wellbeing based charity doing mentoring.
I've really wanted this job etc... and now I started it Thursday and going to do n1 x a week to start with for now I'm feeling uncomfortable, anxious.

I hsve autistim and corrodpondinh anxiety, which is often just piit down to normal nerves. But I felt very nervous I think, I deaktv with it perhaps but I was likr going to n the toilet every so often and pacing up and down, rocking bavk and forth etc... I didn't really realise till another new starter said "oh is it a rocking chair " which thrm mafr me realise but also perhaps self conscious.
I'm feeling really scared to now go back in!! Like I obviously struggled to get through the day if I was pacing , rocking. At the moment it's all training in a seperate office and thrb we meet with the rest of time for short intervals during their reflection time but not while mentoring occurs as we have to do online training first.
I wasn't expecting to struggle so much or realise my autistim/ anxiety will hsvd this impact ! Ive been really excited about this opportunity and now boom.
Any support please?

amy02

Hey @Invisible_me I can definitely relate to this! I have my own small things that I do during a working day to try and make myself calm and more comfortable. I can really hear how that first day may have been overwhelming for you and we are all here to listen. Hopefully the environment will get easier as you get more and more familiar with it. Otherwise, if you're comfortable with it, you could have a quick chat with your employer about potential adjustments? It sounds like you'll be doing amazing work mentoring and I really hope it goes well for you Even if you need to step back, you can be so proud you tried and put yourself out there!

Invisible_me

Hi thanjs for reply @amy02
I hope so too. I'm only goibg in once a week at moment but I really want to inccrwae it to 2 in February (after the stressor of dec/Jan are ocer). But even going in once a week at moment feels so hard!! Its thr energy if getting through thr day but also "faking and beibg confident ' when inside I'm far from it and crumbling. I'm trying each day to hold it together buy honestly I can't! It's a job ice wanted abd been looking forward to as working as a mentor but you know when you feel otger people will thibk urghh how can you mentor others when you struggle yourself!,
My line manager is leaving and I wobt see her now. One if the service managers knows I have autism because I disclosed it in the form and she did ask if u needed support but when I'm starting somewhere new us difficukty to say what/if will help.
I'm goibg tomorrow... scared!!

briannat

Hello @Invisible_me

First off, congratulations on getting a job you've really wanted. That's lovely news!! Second I want to acknowledge how challenging it must be to have to be in a new environment that seems to be bringing out a lot of anxiety. Maybe as time goes on you'll be able to have a better understanding of what types of accommodation you need in the work place so that you'll feel more comfortable. Are there parts of the job/training that you've found enjoyable despite feeling anxious?

You might find this helpful too

https://www.kidsspotrehab.com/blog/supporting-individuals-with-autism-and-anxiety-in-the-workplace/#:~:text=Many people with autism experience,a significant difference in comfort.

https://www.helpguide.org/mental-health/autism/autism-at-work

https://absencesoft.com/resources/top-accommodations-for-employees-with-autism/

Don't feel pressured to look through all of this sources!

sinead276

hey @Invisible_me - just wanted to say pretty much the same as the others. hopefully it all starts to get a bit easier the more you go and settle in and become familiar with the environment and the people you work with.

sending lots of hugs

TheNightmare

It’s completely understandable to feel anxious, especially with something as important as starting a new job in a field you're passionate about. It’s great that you’re being so open about your feelings it shows how much you care about doing well. It’s also okay to have moments where things feel overwhelming, and it’s important to be kind to yourself. Remember, you’re not alone in this, and taking things one step at a time is totally okay. You've already taken a huge step by starting, and that's something to be proud of. Keep going at your own pace.