Fighting against Social Anxiety

JMMV2005

I’ve probably mentioned this before but I’m very anxious in public and social situations due to past experiences, I feel like my fear is stopping me from having a better quality life

So I’ve been trying to fight back against it, I’ve been looking for a gym or fitness class I could join, and I’ve been going down to a local coffee shop and ordering coffees to go, I was really scared ordering coffee before but it’s got a bit easier as time has gone on but I still am getting a bit nervy and in public walking down the street I get so nervous and uptight

So my question is… Am I doing enough to face and fight my fear? I know it’ll take time but am I doing enough right now or do I need to do more? Because if I don’t do enough to conquer this fear I’m going to miss out on things and my older self will regret it, and I haven’t got forever and I already feel like I’ve missed out on things and am missing out on things this very moment, I don’t have any good friends, I’m single and always have been, and I don’t go out and do a lot, and I’m so ready to change things

I know I have spirit and the right attitude I just worry I’m not doing enough and wasting time and I want to know if I’m doing enough because my future self and my happiness is relying on it

Katie

Hey @JMMV2005

This sounds so empowering that you're trying to fight back against your anxiety in public and social situations. It really does take a lot of bravery and I'm so glad you're finding it's getting easier over time. You should really give yourself credit for how much effort you are putting into this. I also find it quite admirable that you're doing this for you and nobody else. At the end of the day, this is your life, and I can really hear that passion in wanting to have a better quality life.

It sounds to me like you're doing your own version of Exposure Therapy. Can I ask what kind of support you have around your social anxiety, and if you've had therapy for it before?

JMMV2005 wrote: »

if I don’t do enough to conquer this fear I’m going to miss out on things and my older self will regret it, and I haven’t got forever and I already feel like I’ve missed out on things and am missing out on things this very moment, I don’t have any good friends, I’m single and always have been, and I don’t go out and do a lot, and I’m so ready to change things

I hear that fear in feeling like you're going to miss out on things and your older self will regret it. But I also think what's important here is to look back at how far you've come. Think of a time when the thought of going to gym or a fitness class felt absolutely impossible. Or a time when stepping into your local coffee shop and ordering a coffee to go actually felt like the stuff of nightmares. I hear that you do still get a bit nervy when you are ordering coffee or walking down the street, but how do these nerves compare to what it used to feel like? To me it sounds like you've made a lot of progress already, and it's really affirming to hear that you know you have the right spirit and attitude. I think you do too!

Maybe you could make a list of everything you want to achieve, and you could set little time goals for yourself e.g., I want to be attending fitness classes regularly by 3 months time. I really do think you're doing so well already and thank you for bringing us along on this journey. You've got this