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(Suicidal ideation) Seeing people who’ve hurt me doing better than me depresses the hell out of me

bignosegirly0bignosegirly0 Posts: 50 Boards Initiate
edited December 7 in Health & Wellbeing
Everyone who’ve hurt me is doing better than me in life. They’re all confident, don’t have any mental disorders or disabilities (autism in my case), happy all the time, and everyone adores them for the way they are.

Meanwhile, I’m nothing in this world. I will forever remain as unworthy in life.
I wish I could end it all. But there’s a higher change of failure than success.
no one is coming to help me.
Post edited by Katie on
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Comments

  • KatieKatie Community Manager Posts: 147 Helping Hand
    Hey @bignosegirly0 :)

    Thank you for adding a trigger warning in the title. I've also added a spoiler in your post as some extra trigger protection.

    I think how you're feeling here is completely valid. It can feel really deflating when people who have wronged you seem to be thriving in life. Are these people you're still close with? We might not know exactly what life is like for them behind closed doors, but I can understood how seeing them be happy all the time and appear confident can really make us reflect on ourselves pretty negatively. Comparing ourselves to other people can rob us of our own happiness, and more often than not will always feel like a losing battle. I'm really sorry they hurt you, you didn't deserve that at all.

    I definitely don't think you're nothing in this world. You'll have your own set of accomplishments and things that make you happy; all of which are so important and make you you. Do you feel comfortable sharing some of these with us? They can be big or small, like my accomplishment of today is just getting out of bed because I really struggled this morning. That's my win of the day.

    Can I ask if you're feeling safe? I'm really glad you're here with us in our community <3 And I can really hear how much this ideation is impacting your life. These are a lot of big feelings to be dealing with all at once, and it sounds like you have a lot of heaviness weighing on your mind. I'm sending you hugs @bignosegirly0

    I've also popped some organisations down below you might find useful when you have these feelings of ideation
    Samaritans are there for you 24/7. They offer a listening service and emotional support to anyone about any issue, with a special focus on suicidal feelings. You can call the helpline for free on 116 123 or email at jo@samaritans.org. For more information go to www.samaritans.org

    There's a free mobile app called distrACT, it's available on the App Store (Apple) and Google Play (Android). The app gives you easy, quick, and discreet access to information and advice about self-harm and suicidal thoughts. The content has been created by doctors and experts in self-harming and suicide prevention. You can find out more here https://www.expertselfcare.com/distract/

    Papyrus have a HOPELINE247 which is a confidential support and advice service for those experiencing thoughts of suicide and is available 24/7. You can call them on 0800 068 4141, text 88247, or email pat@papyrus-uk.org. They also have a webchat. For more details, visit https://www.papyrus-uk.org/papyrus-hopeline247/
  • bignosegirly0bignosegirly0 Posts: 50 Boards Initiate
    @Katie hiya, I’m coping better, thank you :)

    These are mostly people I have to work with. I’m still trying to find a new job, but my luck hasn’t been great.

    I’m also safe. What’s stopping me from hurting myself if the fact that there’s a higher chance of failing than succeeding.

    But overall, I’m doing better than today, thankfully.
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