Why I feel the way I do

TheNightmare

1. I go to this place to try to get my functional skills, but I don’t like going at all. It feels like something I have to do rather than something I'm motivated by. I feel really embarrassed and self-conscious about doing this.


2. I failed my exams in school and college, and it’s been really hard for me to get over. It’s affected my confidence in what I’m capable of.


3. I can’t drive a manual car, which makes me feel discouraged. People doubting me just adds to that anxiety.


4. I’m really worried about my future. I fear things won’t improve, and I’ll just be stuck in this frustrating cycle. I think it’s just that I’m a bit stuck in a rut right now.


5. I don’t have a girlfriend, which makes me feel like I’m falling behind others in life. Since I’m at home a lot, I often daydream about having one, which just makes me feel more lonely and stuck.


6. I feel like my friends and others are doing better than me. They’re getting jobs they enjoy and passing their driving tests, and it just makes me feel like I’m falling behind.


7. I’m struggling to figure out what I’m good at, and I don’t have much self-confidence. I just don’t know where I fit in, and it’s hard to imagine a future where I reach my goals.


8. I have goals, but with all the setbacks I’ve faced, it feels like I’ll never get there. Right now, it just feels like these goals are getting pushed further and further away, and I’m worried it’s going to get too late.


9. I obviously don’t work yet, and that’s the main point in all of this. Not having a job just makes me feel even more inadequate and worried about my future.


10. I feel like this community is all I’ve got right now, but I also know that I might not have it forever, and that’s a bit scary. It adds to my anxiety about what’s coming next. I really appreciate it. At the moment, it just feels like a journal because every day is a bit of a battle, and most days I think now the negative thoughts take over. I feel like I’m just a bit stuck in a rut.


11. I think therapy might be a way forward for me, but I’m not trying to make excuses. There are barriers, like I mentioned before, that make it hard. I did have a look last night and heard I could get it for free and that there are different places that can do it, but taking that first step is hard. My barriers are worries that it might not work out, along with worrying about what others might think of me seeking therapy. I sometimes worry people might see it as a weakness.

briannat

Hi @TheNightmare

Just want to say this list is really coherent and well written. I know it can take a lot of work to be clear on what it is you want and how you feel, let alone write it down.

Getting help for oneself is already hard, let alone the feelings of shame that can come about from even needing help in the first place. I hope that as time goes on you're able to feel more proud of yourself for working on your functional skills.

What are somethings you do that make you feel a sense of pride about yourself and how you show up in this world? For me this can look like cooking a successful meal, finishing a book I started, or even keeping in track with my own life admin like doctor's appointments. It's small stuff but it's a nice reminder that I'm capable of functioning as an adult .

With your goals, what's the smallest and at least most achievable within your limits at this moment? Getting overwhelmed by a bunch of different expectations is so normal and human, of course it's seeming a bit much to think about all of the goals you have and wonder if you'll ever reach them.

Also you spoke about worrying about whether or not people will see you going to therapy as a weakness. That's very valid as there's still so much stigma when it comes to mental health. However anyone who sees you as weak for wanting to help and improve yourself is not the right person and shouldn't have a say on what you do for your own good. I've felt the exact same way about getting therapy several years ago, it was embarassing for me to admit that things had gotten to a point where I could no longer do things on my own. But if I never went, I'd never had made the progress I have right now which allows me to recognize when I need help and ask for it. It's a slow journey but very much worth it. I hope you can take some comfort in these words

TheNightmare

briannat wrote: »

Hi @TheNightmare

Just want to say this list is really coherent and well written. I know it can take a lot of work to be clear on what it is you want and how you feel, let alone write it down.

Getting help for oneself is already hard, let alone the feelings of shame that can come about from even needing help in the first place. I hope that as time goes on you're able to feel more proud of yourself for working on your functional skills.

What are somethings you do that make you feel a sense of pride about yourself and how you show up in this world? For me this can look like cooking a successful meal, finishing a book I started, or even keeping in track with my own life admin like doctor's appointments. It's small stuff but it's a nice reminder that I'm capable of functioning as an adult .

With your goals, what's the smallest and at least most achievable within your limits at this moment? Getting overwhelmed by a bunch of different expectations is so normal and human, of course it's seeming a bit much to think about all of the goals you have and wonder if you'll ever reach them.

Also you spoke about worrying about whether or not people will see you going to therapy as a weakness. That's very valid as there's still so much stigma when it comes to mental health. However anyone who sees you as weak for wanting to help and improve yourself is not the right person and shouldn't have a say on what you do for your own good. I've felt the exact same way about getting therapy several years ago, it was embarassing for me to admit that things had gotten to a point where I could no longer do things on my own. But if I never went, I'd never had made the progress I have right now which allows me to recognize when I need help and ask for it. It's a slow journey but very much worth it. I hope you can take some comfort in these words

@briannat Hi, I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts and reflections! It’s clear that you're working hard on maintaining your goals and determination, which is something to be proud of. Keeping up with work-related meetings is a great achievable step, and it shows your commitment to moving forward, even if things feel overwhelming at times. Recognizing when you need help and using support, like this conversation, is a huge strengths it’s not easy, but it's incredibly important, and you're doing it.

Thanks again for being open and thoughtful in your response. Your willingness to work on your progress and seek support is inspiring! Keep taking those small steps toward your goals; you're doing great.