If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Feeling negative
TheNightmare
Posts: 2,750 Boards Guru
I feel negative about everything, and I feel negative about myself. I didn't recognize any progress myself, but it was only here that someone pointed out my progress. I sometimes feel like my progress is insufficient. I think my progress feels insufficient because I have a few positives and have been trying to get into work. I've had the determination to find work, but I haven't found anything. I still feel unfulfilled at home and without a proper income, and it feels like everyone else just finds work. I didn't know the process would be this tough and stressful. I thought I'd just get something once I applied to a few jobs. I remember when I applied to my first job and was happy, thinking I was moving towards it, but they didn't reply. I realized that’s how it is, and though it might sound a bit dumb, I thought it would be that easy, but now I realize it’s not. I think I did know it would be hard but thought that if I kept applying, I'd get something within a few months. I had a couple of interviews, so I thought I was quite close to getting something, but months have passed, and I still haven't found anything. Another thing is I often need validation about positives or that I'm doing enough to change things. Negative things or it can be even little mistakes I dwell on.
All my feelings are repetitive, which is why I feel repetitive. My feelings include being unfulfilled, worried about when or if I'll secure an opportunity, feeling like a failure, guilt, stress, and more. I feel like all these emotions are repetitive, contributing to my struggle to sleep. I struggle to sleep most days, and while I do sleep, it's a constant struggle. I lay in bed for a while and don't sleep straight away or within a few minutes. I've seen multiple comments about my progress here, which I will always appreciate, but this is me, and it all goes out of the window. I feel like this all the time. I get comments said to me often as well, and it feels like society puts pressure on me to have it all together. I do accept that I need therapy, but it's the barriers that are stopping me. In my mind, I've made progress, had determination, and done things to change things, but the way I see it is that I haven't secured a job yet, so all of that feels overshadowed by that and all the negatives.
I feel negative anyway, and I compare myself to people, which is hard not to do. Comparing myself is another thing I struggle with and find difficult to stop. It's not as simple as being told not to, even by multiple people. It just feels like the majority of people are ahead of me.
All my feelings are repetitive, which is why I feel repetitive. My feelings include being unfulfilled, worried about when or if I'll secure an opportunity, feeling like a failure, guilt, stress, and more. I feel like all these emotions are repetitive, contributing to my struggle to sleep. I struggle to sleep most days, and while I do sleep, it's a constant struggle. I lay in bed for a while and don't sleep straight away or within a few minutes. I've seen multiple comments about my progress here, which I will always appreciate, but this is me, and it all goes out of the window. I feel like this all the time. I get comments said to me often as well, and it feels like society puts pressure on me to have it all together. I do accept that I need therapy, but it's the barriers that are stopping me. In my mind, I've made progress, had determination, and done things to change things, but the way I see it is that I haven't secured a job yet, so all of that feels overshadowed by that and all the negatives.
I feel negative anyway, and I compare myself to people, which is hard not to do. Comparing myself is another thing I struggle with and find difficult to stop. It's not as simple as being told not to, even by multiple people. It just feels like the majority of people are ahead of me.
Post edited by TheNightmare on
0
Comments
This past summer I had 1-2 months of unemployment and it was all I could think about. I spent everyday looking for jobs and had a lot of my friends sending me jobs too. It became quite overwhelming and extremely consuming. I knew a job would turn up eventually, because it had to right??, but it was that unknown of not knowing what it would be, when it would be, and even where it would be. I hear that it feels like everyone else just easily finds work. I started thinking that maybe I was being too picky even though I was applying for quite a range in the areas I was interested in. How did you find the interviews you had? Were you able to ask for any feedback? I unfortunately don't really have any advice but I hope you don't give up hope just yet. I know that's easier said than done but I am sure something will turn up. You've just got to keep trying and exploring your options. You've got this
I don't know if anyone really has it all together tbh Ford. It might look like it on the outside but everyone has their struggles. I hear that you think you need therapy and it's a really good starting point to recognise that. Can I ask what the barriers are that are stopping you? And how much have you looked into it? The concept of therapy can feel quite intimidating - that fear of opening up to someone and maybe even the fear of what they'll find. I myself have never been to therapy but I have often considered it and think I will do one day.
Not having a job yet doesn't define you - it just means you're unemployed at the moment. There's so much more to you, and it's not like you're not searching for a job. I can see how hard you're trying so please know it doesn't go unnoticed
Hey @Katie thanks so much for your kind words and support. I genuinely appreciate it. It really means a lot to me. Over the last couple of years, I feel like I've really changed my determination and mindset about work. I’m much more eager and driven now compared to two years ago when I didn't really know what I wanted to do. I feel like I’ve grown in terms of my approach to work and job searching, even though it hasn't been easy.
As for the interviews, I’ve found them all nerve-wracking. One interviewer was a bit grumpy, which didn’t leave a great impression, and honestly, it’s been a bit disappointing as I’ve had about four interviews and haven’t been offered the jobs yet. I’ve had a bit of luck with feedback, though. One of the places I interviewed with told me my answers were a bit short, so that’s something I can work on for the future.
Regarding therapy, my main barriers are the fear that it might not work out, along with worrying about what others might think of me seeking therapy. I sometimes fear people might see it as a weakness. I’ve looked into therapy a bit and did some research just yesterday. I found that there are places offering free therapy, so it’s definitely possible. But again, those barriers are what stop me from fully committing, and I just hope it doesn’t sound like I’m making excuses.
Also, it’s really good to see you around again on the boards and everything. I remember you from past chats, and I genuinely enjoyed seeing you there. I’m glad to see you now, and it’s nice to be able to chat with you again. Thanks so much again for checking in and offering such thoughtful support. It’s really helpful to know I’m not alone in feeling like this, and I’ll keep pushing forward. It's helpful to see you have been in a similar position to me and I'm happy to see you got a job here, hopefully soon I'll be doing well too.
@Katie that's nice. I didn’t like it too much and wasn't the best academic wise tbh. I have looked at apprentiships too coz there's entry level ones so that might be an option.