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Feeling negative
TheNightmare
Posts: 2,429 Boards Champion
I feel negative about everything, and I feel negative about myself. I didn't recognize any progress myself, but it was only here that someone pointed out my progress. I sometimes feel like my progress is insufficient. I think my progress feels insufficient because I have a few positives and have been trying to get into work. I've had the determination to find work, but I haven't found anything. I still feel unfulfilled at home and without a proper income, and it feels like everyone else just finds work. I didn't know the process would be this tough and stressful. I thought I'd just get something once I applied to a few jobs. I remember when I applied to my first job and was happy, thinking I was moving towards it, but they didn't reply. I realized that’s how it is, and though it might sound a bit dumb, I thought it would be that easy, but now I realize it’s not. I think I did know it would be hard but thought that if I kept applying, I'd get something within a few months. I had a couple of interviews, so I thought I was quite close to getting something, but months have passed, and I still haven't found anything. Another thing is I often need validation about positives or that I'm doing enough to change things. Negative things or it can be even little mistakes I dwell on.
All my feelings are repetitive, which is why I feel repetitive. My feelings include being unfulfilled, worried about when or if I'll secure an opportunity, feeling like a failure, guilt, stress, and more. I feel like all these emotions are repetitive, contributing to my struggle to sleep. I struggle to sleep most days, and while I do sleep, it's a constant struggle. I lay in bed for a while and don't sleep straight away or within a few minutes. I've seen multiple comments about my progress here, which I will always appreciate, but this is me, and it all goes out of the window. I feel like this all the time. I get comments said to me often as well, and it feels like society puts pressure on me to have it all together. I do accept that I need therapy, but it's the barriers that are stopping me. In my mind, I've made progress, had determination, and done things to change things, but the way I see it is that I haven't secured a job yet, so all of that feels overshadowed by that and all the negatives.
I feel negative anyway, and I compare myself to people, which is hard not to do. Comparing myself is another thing I struggle with and find difficult to stop. It's not as simple as being told not to, even by multiple people. It just feels like the majority of people are ahead of me.
All my feelings are repetitive, which is why I feel repetitive. My feelings include being unfulfilled, worried about when or if I'll secure an opportunity, feeling like a failure, guilt, stress, and more. I feel like all these emotions are repetitive, contributing to my struggle to sleep. I struggle to sleep most days, and while I do sleep, it's a constant struggle. I lay in bed for a while and don't sleep straight away or within a few minutes. I've seen multiple comments about my progress here, which I will always appreciate, but this is me, and it all goes out of the window. I feel like this all the time. I get comments said to me often as well, and it feels like society puts pressure on me to have it all together. I do accept that I need therapy, but it's the barriers that are stopping me. In my mind, I've made progress, had determination, and done things to change things, but the way I see it is that I haven't secured a job yet, so all of that feels overshadowed by that and all the negatives.
I feel negative anyway, and I compare myself to people, which is hard not to do. Comparing myself is another thing I struggle with and find difficult to stop. It's not as simple as being told not to, even by multiple people. It just feels like the majority of people are ahead of me.
Post edited by TheNightmare on
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