Being single

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Orchid059

Hi @Creativeboy23 it's understandable you are feeling this way about being single as it can be tricky to navigate when you are young. You are right, you should be proud of getting yourself out there by using a dating app because that can be very daunting to do initially. Like you said though, it will take time but as long as you are meeting people safely I would just say enjoy the dating world before you settle down. The right person will find you eventually so don't lose hope

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Sian321

Hey @Creativeboy23 , thanks so much for your post and for letting us know a bit about your situation. I totally hear what you're saying about how being single can be a real struggle sometimes, particularly when you're feeling alone and isolated. What would you say has been the hardest part of this for you so far?

It's really positive as you said that you've been taking some steps to put yourself out there via dating apps, and to begin exploring what it feels like to recieve that kind of attention and make connections! You mentioned most of the matches you've made have been people who live further away from you, and I wondered whether there might be any in-person dating events taking place in your local area perhaps, such as fun speed-dating evenings, or hobby groups aimed at people who are single? I wondered how you'd feel about something like that? This being said, it might be the case that online matches with people who live closer to you will happen soon, it might just be a case of waiting a bit longer (which can feel disheartening!)

As @Orchid059 said above, it's so wonderful that you're taking these steps to fulfill yourself by beginning to date, and I hope you can be kind to yourself in the process. Even if being single comes with perks (like independence or the chance to invest in yourself as you said), it's still so, so valid and human to find it hard some days. What do you feel you're looking for in a relationship? And also, in the moments when you do feel isolated or frustrated, has there been anything you've found that brings you comfort?

Keep us updated if you wish to @Creativeboy23 and we're here for you!

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Sian321

Hey @Creativeboy23 , thanks so much for your response here and for letting me know how my previous post landed with you. That makes total sense, particularly what you said about how it felt contradictory for me to have celebrated the ways you're being self-compassionate, but then to end my message saying, 'I hope you can be kind with yourself'. I can see how those two messages are conflicting, and I'm really sorry that ultimately this left you feeling unheard and misunderstood. That sounds like it could have been both dissapointing and frustrating, esspecially when you're taking the time to open up and you're already putting a lot of work into being kind with yourself and to approach dating in a balanced way.

It's great to hear that speed dating might be something you'd find fun, or hobby-related meet up groups. It also sounds really positive that you're clear of what you're wanting from a relationship too, namely someone who is respectful, patient, and who sees past your disability. You deserve all of this, Creativeboy, and I'm excited for you.

When I was reading your message, I suddenly remembered this website that posts lots of fun social meet-ups, both free and with a fee. I'll share below if it might be a fun way to meet people locally:

https://www.meetup.com/

Thank you again for taking the time to share how you're feeling.

JMMV2005

@Creativeboy23 Sorry you feel like this, I’m single and I feel pretty lonely because of it to

I guess the best thing to do to find a relationship (I’m gonna try this myself) is to go to clubs or groups or fitness classes etc: because you’ll meet a lot of people there and I personally think it’s better when you meet people irl, do you go to any clubs? Or is there any clubs or things your thinking of joining?

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JMMV2005

@Creativeboy23 No problem

I’m glad you have some groups your going to (I need to join more groups myself lol) Keep going to those groups and joining new ones and see where it leads you

If I’m 100% honest I wouldn’t know where to meet girls myself, I sort of assume you just meet people by chance when your doing things, I might make a post at some point about it

Anyway sorry if I’m oversharing, my point is your doing the right thing, keep going with it because you never know where it might lead

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JMMV2005

@Creativeboy23 No problem