Low self esteem

Creativeboy23

Hello.

I have been struggling to see myself in a positive light.

I have been thinking my support workers think ill of me. I remembered when a friend was telling me that I need to make my design work seem more. He likely just wanted to be a supportive friend because he loves my work but it felt personal. I remembered when one of my support workers told me to remember to lock my letterbox with my support workers. I know she wanted to ensure my personal documents were inaccessible to others but it made me think I was fundamentally flawed and personally attacked, making me feel judged.

I imagined that I dropped an item and then my support worker would smile with the till operator when I was in the store. The thought was not true. The items were on the checkout and my support worker was not with me, so it would be impossible for that to happen. However, I felt singled out because the thought reflected past experiences where I felt singled out.

Orchid059

Hi @Creativeboy23 that sounds very difficult for you especially because your mind is making you imagine things that are not true. What do you do in those moments when you get those false thoughts? It almost seems as if your mind is playing nasty tricks on yourself to make you feel bad about yourself when in reality there is no reason to feel this way.

Have you had discussions with your support worker and friend about this so they are aware about how you feel? It is important to keep those around us in the loop of how we are currently feeling so they may be able to respond more appropriately to your situation.

I'd just like to remind you even if you don't see it yourself, but you're doing so well. It can be hard to navigate the world when you're young so be kind to yourself.

Creativeboy23

Hello @Orchid059.

I do not usually do anything straight away but I will try to challenge my thoughts when I am calmer. I reframed my thoughts on the thread.

I have not had a conversation with my support worker, but I spoke to my friend and he apologised. However, the situation just cropped back up when I was out with some tenants.

Not everyone is in the situation where they can keep those around them in the loop. I have been previously invalidated by my support worker and by my brother and dad in the past, but I appreciate what you are saying. I agree. Having a support network is vital because you need to be able to have others you can reach out to when you are struggling.

How could I have been kind to myself in this situation?

Thank you for support.

briannat

@Creativeboy23 I love that question! "How could I have been kind to myself in this situation?" It takes a lot to be able to re-frame that and think in a way that allows for kinder thoughts to seep in. Also I know that you try to challenge your thoughts when they arrive which is super positive, but you can also ask for reassurance at times as this could serve as proof that you're not being judged or attacked by those around you.