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I'm struggling so much and just feel so lost

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Social interaction is hard when you’re struggling trust me I know but it good that you had a bit of a good time, don’t feel bad for feeling overwhelmed it happens and it’s alright.
It’s understandable you are nervous and not silly at all but my advice is be honest with him tell him yes I’m struggling and if you want to about the relapse too because that’s what they are there for to help and we can’t help if we don’t know you need it.
Needing help isn’t a weakness it’s a strength because without it how can you get stronger and ready for your next fight
We are all here for you Chloe and good luck for today
Good for you going to your friend's house despite feeling bad, it takes a lot to be around people during moments like these and you did it anyway. That in of itself is a victory
This appointment with a CBT therapist sounds like it could be intense and a bit scary, I hope you feel empowered enough to tell the therapist what your own limits are (you have every right to do this) and that you both can establish a pace that feels safe for you.
Keep going Chloe, even if some days all you can do is exist. That's enough
As the others have said, relapses are nothing to be ashamed of, they are part of the healing process and show that you are on the way to better things with some more time. I am so proud of you for being able to recognise when things are getting worse, and even sharing your feelings on the board is such a great first step
You are not at fault here, and you won't get into trouble for anything at all. Those who work in CBT are there to understand you better, and in order to truly help you, being honest with them is so important. I also believe that its as equally important that you feel safe in the environment before disclosing anything, and its perfectly okay to take some time beforehand to breathe and allow yourself patience when sharing your thoughts and feelings with your CBT practitioner. He is there to help you through even the most challenging times. And the board is always open for you too. Thank you for being alive and for going a long time without self-harm, I know you can get there again, even repetitive cycles can be broken.