I'm struggling so much and just feel so lost

Chloe234

It's all just so shit. I haven't been able to find the words recently but it's just been getting worse and worse there's so much I wanna say yet can't because i know it'd worry people and I can't do that. (I'm safe) I spiraled again tonight and relapsed with my self harm again and it's just such a repetitive cycle.

I feel so disconnected at the moment and it's just so horrible. I went to my friend's this weekend but I feel so bad because I had a little bit of fun but most the time I was just struggling and just wanted to leave.

I've got an appointment today with an intense CBT guy but with this spiral I don't think I'm ready yet I'm too scared to say. I'm worried I'm gonna slip up and say something that will get me in trouble though and I'm so worried they'll try getting me locked up or something as inpatient if they see how bad I am. It's silly because they probably won't. It's my first time going to a health care place since my attempt in February though too

Lucy_21

@Chloe234 You can say anything you need to Chloe that’s what this space is for and yes we would most likely worry about you but that is because we care about you and want to help. You will get no judgment at all here. Relapses are part of the journey and there is no shame in them at all. A realapse means you had a juration of time clean so be proud of it, I’m proud of you.

Social interaction is hard when you’re struggling trust me I know but it good that you had a bit of a good time, don’t feel bad for feeling overwhelmed it happens and it’s alright.

It’s understandable you are nervous and not silly at all but my advice is be honest with him tell him yes I’m struggling and if you want to about the relapse too because that’s what they are there for to help and we can’t help if we don’t know you need it.

Needing help isn’t a weakness it’s a strength because without it how can you get stronger and ready for your next fight

We are all here for you Chloe and good luck for today