Reported my mother to the police, had a small update (TW but no abuse details mentioned)

Distraction

I reported my mother to the police about eight months ago, for historical child abuse, they've been gathering evidence and have now set a date to interview her soon.

I can't help but think she'll get away with it or kill herself before they talk to her, the police officer asked what outcome I wanted, I said prison, even six months (it wouldn't be long enough, but it'd be something)

All key witnesses are dead, my auntie (dads side), my nan (mothers side) and one of my sister (my other sister is still alive but my mother and her were rather close as far as I know)

I don't know if eight months of investigation means they've gathered a lot or if it's taken so long because there's hardly anything to find

I want her in prison so that I know it was bad, I'm tired that I just kept thinking it was all ok, I want to be able to say what my mother put us through was bad enough that she served time and it wasn't nothing.

I'm still living with it today, I'm so fucked up lol and I don't blame it all on her, I never even use to blame any of it on her and I'm responsible for my own healing and actions as an adult but man, it'd be nice to have a clear head

Maybe if she gets charged I could finally put it behind me

I guess the other side to this is the guilt, as much as I'm replacing it with hate to a degree, I keep thinking back to when I was a kid, telling her I'd never leave her, I'd always be there for her, I even felt it, like I whole bodily wanted to protect her, I feel like a hypocrite

amy02

Gosh @Distraction sending you a big virtual hug right now, I'm so sorry this happened to you This must have been so difficult to go through and I can't imagine how hard it must be to deal with the complicated emotions the investigation has brought up. You are so so brave for reporting it and sharing this with us - we're here to listen.

I can definitely understand your need for closure and wanting to move on from this. I'm not sure what the length of investigation will mean, but you deserve to be heard and your hurt to be recognised. I really hope the process goes smoothly, we're here for you