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Finding My Way Forward
TheNightmare
Posts: 2,142 Boards Champion
The process of getting into work has been slow, and I feel negative because things haven’t gone positively so far. I've always been negative and very worried about my future, and eventually, I want to settle down with the right woman in my own house. Right now, I'm trying to focus on getting into work, but I also want to find the right woman at some point once I have a few other things in place. I’m not sure how I will do that, as I’ve heard dating apps are no good and rarely lead to long-term or permanent relationships, which is probably what I want. I do think about the right woman often, but I don't know how I’ll do it.
I still get stressed about the work process, even though I have a bit of support. I feel like it will fail, and I find it hard to stay positive. Sometimes, I wonder why my journey is so slow while others seem to progress quicker. I want to get support for how much I stress, how it affects my sleep and my wellbeing, and all my worrying because it’s been going on for such a long time.
I first started noticing my negative emotions several years ago, and I thought it might be something more because I was getting low moods. I did a bit of research at the time, but I’ve struggled to push myself to get help. Even now, I still struggle to get help about it, despite thinking that counselling or CBT might help. I really struggle to get the courage to do it.
In college, I had mentoring, which was ongoing at some point, and it was alright. I also spoke to a counselor once, but it wasn't an ongoing thing. It's been a very long time, and I still struggle to get help, but I know I shouldn't. I think at times I’ve been okay short-term, but it’s been a bit up and down, which is probably why I didn’t get the help I needed sooner.
Now, I feel like I really need things to improve, and I think CBT might be the solution to top it all off, but I struggle to take the next step and go to my GP to ask for it.
I still get stressed about the work process, even though I have a bit of support. I feel like it will fail, and I find it hard to stay positive. Sometimes, I wonder why my journey is so slow while others seem to progress quicker. I want to get support for how much I stress, how it affects my sleep and my wellbeing, and all my worrying because it’s been going on for such a long time.
I first started noticing my negative emotions several years ago, and I thought it might be something more because I was getting low moods. I did a bit of research at the time, but I’ve struggled to push myself to get help. Even now, I still struggle to get help about it, despite thinking that counselling or CBT might help. I really struggle to get the courage to do it.
In college, I had mentoring, which was ongoing at some point, and it was alright. I also spoke to a counselor once, but it wasn't an ongoing thing. It's been a very long time, and I still struggle to get help, but I know I shouldn't. I think at times I’ve been okay short-term, but it’s been a bit up and down, which is probably why I didn’t get the help I needed sooner.
Now, I feel like I really need things to improve, and I think CBT might be the solution to top it all off, but I struggle to take the next step and go to my GP to ask for it.
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Comments
It takes a lot to be able to find a job, even the process of looking for one is in of itself a job. It makes a lot of sense to me that with as slow as it's been coupled with the fact that things haven't gone positively so far that you're feeling negative and it also sounds like you're feeling quite discouraged. Having a job is important obviously, but so is your wellbeing so make sure to take breaks from this job searching process and do things that make you smile or something that you at least enjoy. Spending a lot of time and energy on job searching can be draining so it's important to be able to fill your own cup from time to time. You mentioned having a bit of support, what does that look like? Are you finding it helpful?
In terms of you finding a long term relationship, it is a hard process as we're all just humans looking for connection. You sound like you have a very clear idea of what it is you want which is positive and there are dating apps out there that people have found longer-term more serious relationships such as Hinge or even Tinder. I don't know what method will be most effective for you but I can see that you're more than willing to at least try which is brave.
If you're interested in CBT and counselling, there are some links I've included that might help nudge you in the right direction. Here at The Mix we also offer free counselling up to 8 sessions which might be a good way for you start getting the help you need. You can refer yourself to our counselling team here: https://www.themix.org.uk/get-support/speak-to-our-team/the-mix-counselling-service.
Here is a CBT worksheet that you might find helpful: https://www.nhsinform.scot/illnesses-and-conditions/mental-health/mental-health-self-help-guides/problem-solving-self-help-guide/
You also mentioned wanting to speak to your GP, here is a website with information that helps you prepare to have those mental health conversations with your GP https://www.docready.org
Struggling to ask for help and take those steps to move forward in your path of healing is so real! But you've already started by making this post, and talking about what's been going on for you. I am definitely rooting for you to get the things you want and need and I hope you keep coming on here to share what's going on with you
Hi @briannat , thanks so much for your thoughtful reply. I really appreciate the support and the resources you shared they mean a lot. It's also nice to meet you, and I look forward to connecting more on here. Thanks again for your encouragement.