Wtf do I do

Rose113

So yesterday I found out my boyfriend told my college friend stuff that I didn’t want him to tell anyone and so I got really annoyed because I never trusted him but also he broke the trust that he didn’t have if that makes sense and then after arguing and blah blah blah he threatened suicide if I break up with him leaving me in a position where I don’t want to be with him but also too afraid to break up with him

Everything is just spiralling and I hate it, I relapsed with my sh last night (safe) I don’t want to go college today yet I do because I don’t want to be alone but idk

stardust444

@Rose113 I’m so sorry this sounds like a very hard situation to be in and I hope you are doing alright today<333 Your bf did not have a right to do that to you so I completely understand how you feel! He also does not have the right to threaten you like that because it’s not fair on you, and you are the only one who should decide if this relationship is right for you.

From my personal experience when was in slightly similar situation a while back and I thought staying in the relationship was the easiest choice because I was scared of hurting him and how he might react. But it turns out even if it may be very hard, the best choice is to end it (if I you feel like this is right for you) because prolonging it just causes more hurt on both ends. You deserve someone who respects you and a relationship that adds to your life not makes it worse!!

I understand that you may have been put in the position where you feel responsible for his well-being but I promise that is not your burden to hold. You have to right to make your choice regardless of his threats. If you are concerned he may harm himself if you did try to leave, my best advice would be to tell someone you trust or encourage him to seek help.

I hope you’re okay!! Please update with the situation if you feel comfortable<33

Rose113

Hey @stardust444 i broke up with him

Sian321

Hey @Rose113, thanks so much for messaging. It sounds like yesterday was an extreamly stressful day and everything's spiralling. I'm so glad you feel able to tell us here so we can support you and be with you in this, because no one should have to feel alone

Having your trust broken like that by your boyfriend sounds so horrible. I can only imagine how exposing that felt, and then having him threaten suicide if you leave feels really trapping. Have you ever felt this way in your relationship with him before? If you did want some more practical support around your relationship and the threatening dynamics happening there, I'll pop some options in a little Spolier here:

https://www.isthisok.org.uk/
https://www.disrespectnobody.co.uk/
https://www.papyrus-uk.org/

I'm really glad to hear you're safe despite sh-ing, but that's not to take away from just how overwhelming things sound right now. What did you decide to do today in the end going to college?

Keep us posted, @Rose113. Sending a hug, if you're a hug person!

stardust444

@Rose113 i know you may be feeling a mix of emotions right now, im so proud you because that was a hard decision to make and you were very brave ❤️❤️❤️

Rose113

@Sian321 hey, after speaking to someone about it and having an argument with him I just broke up with him, he wouldn’t listen to me but then someone stepped in and told him straight up and then he got the memo

I went in to college and it was okay I cried to my sound teacher about him and home and she was really supportive.

Thank you, hugs

Sian321

Hey @Rose113 , ah it sounds like so much has been happening. I'm really glad your sound teacher was so supportive today in school.

I want to totally second what @stardust444 has said there about letting yourself feel a whole mixture of emotions. Making the decision to finally break up sounds huge. I hope you can be super gentle with yourself and take care. Despite what your ex may have said, you should never have to hold responsibility for his life and safety, and you deserve to be totally free to choose what's right for you. What's it like to be broken up with him now?

We're here for you

Rose113

@Sian321 honestly I can’t stop thinking about the situation, it makes me want to cry 💔 I hate myself, I hate him I feel so horrid 😭😭😭

abbie1235

Hey @Rose113, firstly I’m really sorry this happened it sounds like a difficult situation to be in, i just wanted to check in and see how you are feeling today?

Rose113

@abbie1235 i don’t know

Sian321

Hey @Rose113 , just checking in. How are things feeling this weekend so far? It's also okay to not know how you're feeling. You're adjusting to a huge change in your personal life, and I know the break-up also came after some really upsetting arguments with your ex. That's a lot to process.

Sending hugs