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How my sisters visit went
Lucy_21
Posts: 158 Helping Hand
I am going to be quite generalized in this post as this visit hit everyone (a lot of crying) and was very personal as it was just instant family (mam dad kids and grandkids)
As some of you know my older sister, her boyfriend and four kids visited us from Scotland yesterday for the first time in eight years.
When they got here we all instantly got hugs and went to the living room where we just caught up, took pictures, play with the kids.
Unfortunately we didn’t have time to do anything more but they are coming back for longer in summer (explain later)
It felt strange as I didn’t expect it to feel so natural like I know they are family but haven’t seen them in a long time so expected at least a bit of awkward but no it was as if they were here for the weekly Sunday dinner which I think helped everyone. Yes we all cried when they had to leave and when I say had to it was genuinely last second possible to get home in time. My sister came back for rounds of hugs so much I lost count but definitely not complaining.
Now for the explanation.
This was our first time seeing a lot of each other in person niece and nephew wise and my sisters boyfriend (I always knew Video call is a lot different to in person but wow) We were ALL apprehensive about meeting her boyfriend but it changed quickly. He was so polite to everyone, shook my dads (quite a lot of mussel compared) and older brothers (first born over six foot) hand, talked to me the whole time and told me things about him that made the lack of visits so understandable (we did anyway but more so, in fact writing this I regret not trying to hug him or something but will make up for it in summer) I actually feel so guilty about how we all thought of him over the years so much so I feel like crying writing this and will definitely reach out to him directly more now. When they come back now we know each other I am definitely making a more direct effort with him in summer. Like literally the poor guy was sat so nervous in the corner of the couch until I talked to him. I learned something that made me understand the lack of visits but I think we helped him with it so hopefully we see them move often now.
A lot of contact options were given for even more regular communication and visit plans so I’m happy and excited I regret not asking but I’m going to find his birthday and wish him a good time (if it’s before or after summer obviously) but there’s always next year if he’s had it. Usually we give Christmas and other holiday wishes to my sister for everyone but I think it would be nice for him to get personally directed ones too.
They are coming back for definite in summer we are all already planning on both sides (a lot easier with more contacts than just my sister) and we can’t wait. Mam is talking about booking something this time so we all fit better (we were split in the living room kitchen and outside porch yesterday. It will be better planned too so can be longer than a few hours and we can do stuff together. It will also be my birthday and I’d love to see them for it again after so many many years❤️🥰
My depression and anxiety actually left me alone today too for once wich helped.
Can anyone help me with school holiday differences to UK school and Scotland please, thank you.
BTW the kids and their accents are so adorable ❤️
As some of you know my older sister, her boyfriend and four kids visited us from Scotland yesterday for the first time in eight years.
When they got here we all instantly got hugs and went to the living room where we just caught up, took pictures, play with the kids.
Unfortunately we didn’t have time to do anything more but they are coming back for longer in summer (explain later)
It felt strange as I didn’t expect it to feel so natural like I know they are family but haven’t seen them in a long time so expected at least a bit of awkward but no it was as if they were here for the weekly Sunday dinner which I think helped everyone. Yes we all cried when they had to leave and when I say had to it was genuinely last second possible to get home in time. My sister came back for rounds of hugs so much I lost count but definitely not complaining.
Now for the explanation.
This was our first time seeing a lot of each other in person niece and nephew wise and my sisters boyfriend (I always knew Video call is a lot different to in person but wow) We were ALL apprehensive about meeting her boyfriend but it changed quickly. He was so polite to everyone, shook my dads (quite a lot of mussel compared) and older brothers (first born over six foot) hand, talked to me the whole time and told me things about him that made the lack of visits so understandable (we did anyway but more so, in fact writing this I regret not trying to hug him or something but will make up for it in summer) I actually feel so guilty about how we all thought of him over the years so much so I feel like crying writing this and will definitely reach out to him directly more now. When they come back now we know each other I am definitely making a more direct effort with him in summer. Like literally the poor guy was sat so nervous in the corner of the couch until I talked to him. I learned something that made me understand the lack of visits but I think we helped him with it so hopefully we see them move often now.
A lot of contact options were given for even more regular communication and visit plans so I’m happy and excited I regret not asking but I’m going to find his birthday and wish him a good time (if it’s before or after summer obviously) but there’s always next year if he’s had it. Usually we give Christmas and other holiday wishes to my sister for everyone but I think it would be nice for him to get personally directed ones too.
They are coming back for definite in summer we are all already planning on both sides (a lot easier with more contacts than just my sister) and we can’t wait. Mam is talking about booking something this time so we all fit better (we were split in the living room kitchen and outside porch yesterday. It will be better planned too so can be longer than a few hours and we can do stuff together. It will also be my birthday and I’d love to see them for it again after so many many years❤️🥰
My depression and anxiety actually left me alone today too for once wich helped.
Can anyone help me with school holiday differences to UK school and Scotland please, thank you.
BTW the kids and their accents are so adorable ❤️
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Comments
I'm so glad to hear your family visit went well and your anxiety left you alone for the day
Your plans for next summer sound very exciting - it'll be great to have some more time for you all to catch up! Booking something sounds like a great idea
I'm not 100% about the Scotland holiday difference... but my Scottish family would generally seem to finish for Summer earlier than us and then go back to school earlier as well
Her boyfriend is so sweet and clearly loves everyone. He didn’t talk to everyone the way he did me but it was a lot for him so that’s fine I’m sure he’ll expand to the others with time.
The reason it’s important is he’s adopted (I didn’t know until after they left) and I don’t think he fully realized what my sister and us were missing until yesterday so I think he started to feel really guilty for not coming down sooner but I don’t blame him at all. If he were rejected instead of accepted it would have probably hurt him a lot more because of it. From last night though I made a silent promise to him to show him what family is and make sure he knows he is a part of ours now.
I know I honestly don’t care what we do as long as it’s for longer next time and thank you for the but of help with times any amount is appreciated ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing this with us. It's so lovely to hear that your visit with your sister and her family went so well!
After so many years apart, it must have felt like a big moment to reconnect again, so I completely understand why you were expecting it to be awkward (I would have been expecting that too!). But it's brilliant that it felt so natural and that you were able to catch up calmly!
Meeting your sister’s boyfriend for the first time in person seems to have brought up a lot of complex emotions for you, but I just wanted to reiterate that it's understandable, after years of not seeing him in person, that you might have formed certain assumptions or expectations about him. When someone is mostly a name or face through video calls, it’s easy for our minds to fill in the gaps, often in ways that aren’t completely accurate. However, in person, everything feels more real, and it sounds like seeing him face-to-face helped you let go of any ideas you might have had about him before.
It’s totally normal to feel a bit guilty about the last few years, but it’s great that you’re using that realization to work on improving your connection with him moving forward! Instead of getting stuck in those feelings of guilt, you’ve seen this as an opportunity to build a more genuine relationship. It’s super clear to me that this is important to you, and that you want him to feel truly included as part of the family. I’m sure your sister will really appreciate that effort, too
It’ll be so nice to have everyone together next time you see them, and longer visits mean more time to really get to know each other again, which sounds really special. Plus, celebrating your birthday with them after so long will be such a bonus. It sounds like you have a lot to look forward to!
In terms of the school holidays, from what I can see, the Scottish summer holidays start on the 2nd of July (roughly) and last around six weeks, whereas, in England, the summer holidays start on the 22nd (roughly) and also last around six weeks! You might need to look it up for more specific areas, though
Take care of yourself!