How can I make the thoughts go away

Lucy_21

I made a longer detailed post already about it but basically I have issues about a few things my eating problems, disability, bullying past and stuff but I just can’t get all the “dark thoughts” to shut up for one night and I’m going crazy. Now with my anxiety about basically failing at life I don’t know what to do because every day it’s getting harder to distract myself. I’m sick of crying I’m sick of the sleepless nights, I just want it all to go away but I can’t so can someone please tell me what to do because after 11 years I’m just done. I just don’t know what to do. I won’t do anything promise I have a friend that needs me and they are everything to me. I refuse to leave them but even my faith is slipping (Christian) witch is what scares me because I never thought that would happen

Rose113

Hey ❤️🫶🏻 I don’t really know how to help or what to suggest but you know where to find me if you need to have a laugh or anything

Lucy_21

Thank you @Rose113. Honestly at the moment you are the only person that can even make me smile and I’m so grateful for you❤️❤️

Rose113

Aww @Lucy_21 ill always be here to cheer you up when your feeling low, I’ll be here to make you laugh even if it’s just because of my obsession with filters 😂😝 I’m always here even for the serious chats

Lucy_21

Thank you so much @Rose113 as will I for you love and nah I love your filters 😂 and our full conversations in my comments even if it is just you calling me old cheeky because it’s random and the small things like that remind me I’m not alone even if it’s just for a few minutes. I know I’m not good at saying how I feel when something is wrong and I prefer helping you but I will get better at being more open eventually it’s just hard for me to say when something is wrong even with friends I’ve had for years but I will tell you more eventually and I hope you can too❤️

Aoife

I can really hear how long you've been struggling @Lucy_21

You're facing so much and that's incredibly tough. You mentioned you're struggling with dark thoughts right now and it's feeling impossible to distract yourself which can be such a hard place to be. You've taken a brave step reaching out for support and we're all here for you - you don't have to go through this alone and I'm really glad you reached out

It sounds like there's an important friendship keeping you here which is so important to have. Do you have any additional support outside of The Mix at the moment? Or have you reached out to services like Crisis Messenger, Samaritans or Papyrus for help with those thoughts? There are some really supportive people there who help so many people experiencing dark thoughts

Another option could be completing a safety plan and Papyrus have a great one that can you can work through which might be really helpful when you're really struggling with some of these thoughts. They ask some important questions and help you build a self-care plan which can be so helpful during those moments. Have you done one of these safety plans before? If not, how would you feel about giving it a try?

Well done again for reaching out. We're here for you

Lucy_21

@aofie no I haven’t gone on any of them because my mom can see my searches and she’ll get mad at me

Former Member

Hey, how are you feeling now?

It sounds like you're dealing with a lot at the moment so it's understandable that you'd be desperate for these thoughts to just stop and for the world to give you a well deserved break. I'm sorry that your mam would be mad if she saw you on those websites. Could you explain that they're self help websites? You don't have to deal with all of this alone.

Also, I just wanted to comment a bit on this because I have been in the same boat

even my faith is slipping (Christian) witch is what scares me because I never thought that would happen

I have always been a holy person. I'm Catholic and since forever my faith was solid, but then life got really difficult and I started feeling like God wasn't listening and that my prayers were being left unanswered. I started questioning everything . I think I spoke about it on one of my threads and it's something i've been dealing with for the last little while.

I've started offering myself more kindness recently and I guess now I realise that it's normal to feel this way, especially when you're dealing with so much. Losing faith doesn't mean that you've lost it forever and sure even the most faithful people in the Bible questioned God in their hardest moments, hey.

Whats helping me right now is holding onto the small things. Small prayers, small moments of grace and it's taken a while but i'm starting to feel more connected to my religion again.

When I reached out to my priest he told me that His silence doesn't mean that He has abandoned me. He's with us in the valleys, not just the mountain tops.

You don't have to have it figured all out right now. Take it one day at a time and remember to take care of yourself in the meantime

Lucy_21

She doesn’t think mental health exists but the rest did help. Just for clarification I’m a chosen Christian only one in my family but I don’t know she just thinks I made me this way myself so..

Former Member

Sorry to hear that she doesn't think mental health exists. Some of my family think that too. Is there a way you can reach out to those services or see their websites in incognito mode where your mam wouldn't see search results? either way, you deserve support and i'm sorry your mam is being like that.

Also, being a chosen Christian is fine. I guess we all make a choice. No shame in being the only one in your family

Keep reaching out anyway, hope you get the support you need here.

Lucy_21

Thank you @Slinky it does scare me a little bit to do it but I think I should at this point