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Feelings alone ATM
Lucy_21
Posts: 24 Boards Initiate
TW SH
Hey I'm 21 and struggled with SH since 16 I I haven't done so in a round a year now but I've been finished with college a year and feel like I'm nowhere as my disability (high function CP) is making it a lot more difficult for me to get a job then my friends so I'm starting to feel behind and I'm starting to worry I may never get a job. I'm starting to wonder if there is any point in my life or if college is as far as I'll get and may as well stop now. I'm not at the point of thinking end it now yet but my SH urges are back and I don't want it to get worse but my parents don't understand and when the first found out they pretty much said I had no reason to do it despite knowing I've been bullied my whole life and so yes they knew I did it but said nothing. I don't want to do it again but it's getting hard to fight it with the thought of my life having nowhere left to go getting stronger every day. I'm just worried one day it will be worse than doing more than my arm so thought it was time to ask for some kind of help even if it's just here for now
Hey I'm 21 and struggled with SH since 16 I I haven't done so in a round a year now but I've been finished with college a year and feel like I'm nowhere as my disability (high function CP) is making it a lot more difficult for me to get a job then my friends so I'm starting to feel behind and I'm starting to worry I may never get a job. I'm starting to wonder if there is any point in my life or if college is as far as I'll get and may as well stop now. I'm not at the point of thinking end it now yet but my SH urges are back and I don't want it to get worse but my parents don't understand and when the first found out they pretty much said I had no reason to do it despite knowing I've been bullied my whole life and so yes they knew I did it but said nothing. I don't want to do it again but it's getting hard to fight it with the thought of my life having nowhere left to go getting stronger every day. I'm just worried one day it will be worse than doing more than my arm so thought it was time to ask for some kind of help even if it's just here for now
3
Comments
Firstly, thank you for reaching out. I think it's brave of you, as it sounds like you are going through a lot right now. It isn't easy to get a job right now, and especially taking in mind your disability. The job hunt can be frustrating, disheartening, and demotivating. It can cause feelings of hopelessness and make you question yourself. But know that eventually, your time will come. Everyone is on their own journey and things happen for people at different times. I know it may not seem like it now, but one day you will realise that, and hopefully that time comes soon.
I think it is great you show so much awareness of your thoughts and emotions. It takes a lot of courage to ask for help. What kind of help do you think would be helpful or did you have something in mind? Do you have any other support?