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Still feeling anxious about things
TheNightmare
Posts: 2,601 Boards Guru
I still feel anxious about just getting into work. I worry I'll resent myself in the future for being in this situation. I have been getting support from my work coach in terms of finding work; he's said it's realistic to think I'll be working within the next few months, he's said don't worry basically, and I have had support here for when I've struggled, yet I still worry about things. It's just how long it's taking. Everyone else job searching seems to have secured something, or just in general, everyone seems to have everything together who are my age range, like good jobs, nice cars, some even moved out. There's people I know my age who have a kid, people graduating, etc., like things people have done. I just compare myself to people and feel overtaken by people.
I believe I can do the stuff I want to do at some point myself, and like I personally wouldn't want to go to university to graduate or have a kid now or move out yet and like do some stuff people have done yet, but I still compare myself to people. I feel like these people who are doing these things too would humiliate me if they knew my situation, and I think that would really, really get to me. I think my friends know I'm looking for work and they don't really judge me, but unfortunately, I think society can be extremely judgmental.
I know I'm on my own path like many people have told me many times, but I want to get things together sooner rather than later. I just want to be into a suitable job ASAP really. I'm just in a bit of process atm and I think I'm heading in the right direction, but I'm just a bit negative about everything. I always worry about the worst-case scenario happening because sometimes in the past it has happened, and like people who have doubted me have been right. For example, in school I wanted to do a mechanic apprenticeship, people said it wouldn't happen, and it didn't. I have had different things like that happen over the years after that. I have had setbacks too recently, and like things have come up too, so I had my hopes up for weeks or even months, then it's not ended up happening like it's not been suitable for me, etc. So it's hard to keep positive all the time. Even though my work coach is supporting me and we have plans in place and I have support here, I still worry about things.
I feel extremely pressured to get sorted by a certain time too, because the program I'm on I only have a selected time till I'm on it. So I just really need to get sorted by then, and I've been really scared I won't. It's just because it's been so long and I haven't secured anything yet. I don't know how long I can manage it because I'm just going to doubt myself more and more, become more and more bored, feel like I'm just wasting loads more time. I just want to be busy, getting an income, and be gradually working towards my goals in life because, like my plan is more ambitious than just getting into work and that's it. I have many goals I want in life and want to make more because, to be honest, thinking of them goals and achieving them is exciting to me. I think I would look forward to my future if things came more positive, like moving out into a place of my own with a girlfriend. I know bills and loads of different responsibilities come with that too, but just moving into my own property with my own space with someone I love, I could potentially do stuff I want to do that I can't do right now, more freedom, just in general, like life is full of different experiences that I can have, and it can be exciting. So I'm just hoping things can come together soon because it's like the sooner, the better.
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Comments
Thank you for reaching out, it sounds like you have a lot going on at the moment, but I'm glad you have taken the time to reflect and share.
Many people are struggling to find work at the moment, and as you said everyone is on their own path. It can be difficult and frustrating when you feel like things have not being going your way and seem to be for others. But everyone works at their own speed, different things happen for different people at various times in their lives.
Take each steps as they come. You have many goals, that you will eventually reach, although it may not seem like it at the moment. Things will happen for you, when they are suppose to and I'm glad you are hopeful for that time to come soon.
Please keep us updated on how things go, we wish you the best!
Take care,
Fiona ◡̈
Thanks a lot for replying and all that, I'll keep you updated too. Cheers