Grief

Former Member

I feel a little bit like my emotions are being over the top and that I shouldn't be allowed to be this sad I guess.

My grandmother passed away peacefully today. She's my only grandmother I known. (My grandparents on my dad's side died like 20 years before I was born)

We saw her like a fair few times a year when I was younger but when we moved further up north when I was 8 we saw them once maybe twice a year.

She lived up north temporary for a year. But she ultimately missed her husband and moved back in with him.

She was diagnosed with dementia a long time ago and when I hit 18 and went to uni I saw them maybe once a year.

I feel like my grandmother and I are very similar in terms of hobbies and I felt close to her because of that.

However I don't feel like I am allowed to be this upset as we never lived near each other and so didnt see each other frequently. We used to send letters to each other when I was really young but not enough.

To me it felt like one day we saw each other and she was fine and then a year later when I saw her, her mind had completely gone and she didn't know who I was and I feel so bad about it.

I like to think we were somewhat close when I was younger but cause of the dementia that relationship just drifted apart as she's been in that state for years.

So I don't feel like I am allowed to be this upset cause we didn't see each other much tho I remember a lot of fond activities with her.

Am I being over emotional or is this perfectly acceptable?

AnonymousToe

It’s perfectly acceptable and normal to grieve your grandmother, no matter how little you saw her. You have special memories with her and she was important to you, so it’s only natural you’d feel this way. Please don’t think you’re not allowed to be upset. I promise you are

Orchid059

Hi @Willow you are allowed to feel this way, it is perfectly normal to feel grief when someone passes and you are not being over emotional. We all experience grief differently and there is no right way to feel it. It sounds like despite not living close to your grandmother in recent years, you still cared dearly for her and shared a lot in common. With grief I find it is important to surround yourself with others who can support you through this time. Just remember what you are going through is normal and just take all the time you need.

You are not alone- we are here for you

sinead276

hey @Willow - first of all i'm so sorry for your loss - sending you and the rest of your family some big virtual hugs

like the others have said, you are allowed to grieve and feel emotional as much as you need to. your feelings are completely valid, whatever they might be. Even though you didn't see her more than once or twice a year, you still had that connection with your grandma and memories with her that i'm sure you'll carry with you - she was your family regardless of how frequently you saw one another.

look after yourself and try and surround yourself with other if you can - you don't have to go through any of this on your own

We're all here to support you however we can

Former Member

Hello everyone

Thanks for the support. I really appreciate it. I think this one hit me hard. I feel like I lost time with her and that I should of somehow made myself more avaliable and visited more. I guess regret is hitting hard.

I think that I felt more emotional about her passing than my mother who loved her dearly but seemed to have taken the loss a lot less emotional and by that I generally mean like physically showing emotional. I know deep down she is absolutely devastated. But to me it looked as if I was more upset by it and it didn't feel right to me that I was seeing more upset by the loss. If that makes sense.

eylah

so sry for your loss your allowed to greieve. here for you and sending you safe hugs